Advertisement
The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol
  Breaking News: FDA Approves Triumeq, New Once-Daily Combination Pill

HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

Pages: 1
HealingPower
Regular

Reged: 04/30/06
Posts: 30
Loc: MD
I hurt...
      #190316 - 05/08/06 08:49 PM

Well,
I'm facing slight difficulty swallowing the fact that I tested positive, and realize this will be normal. Today my heart pains and I feel much sorrow. I am far from family(told my cousins) they were supportive, which is a plus. I haven't heard from them in a week or so, but that's fine, they wanted me to know I'm not alone in this. But still when you have no one to hug but you, no one to love close but you, it's painful. I'm stuck in a city, state I never knew with a disease I never expected to get. I wish I were back in Michigan/Ohio with family close by and the friends who are always there for me. I know there is a reason for this pain I feel, but it's mainly lonelieness. I'm man enough to mention, that I feel alone. The ones who I know could console me are too far, and those who are close are not close enough to me to tell them something so deep. I have to have back surgery and colon surgery. There's so much I have to go through these next 6 months it's crazy. I'm likely to lose about 40-60 lbs from all this too, including possibly taking meds too. I see an ID specialist on Wednesday and HATE going to the clinic, it's so impersonal to me. Keep me in your prayers.

--------------------
2 Corinthians 12:9



Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: I hurt... new
      #190327 - 05/08/06 09:16 PM

As I see it and its just how I see it HP.. Your in good hands! Fall back on your beleif system and USE IT. I am not going to through a bunch of church shit atcha but I am a firm beleiver in faith will take you through..

When you say "this will be normal". THERE IS NOTHING NORMAL ABOUT BEING HIV POSITIVE! ! ! ! The feelings you feel, the sorrow that oozzes from every pour is absolutely NORMAL, but hiv is not. Get thru this greiving process, or allow it to slide off onto the backburner.. But not now, not yet, no way! I am sorry to be the one to tell you this but your going to have to feel this for awhile. Friends are phone calls away. Do NOT distance yourself by location. You need to surround yourself with the biggest fan club for HP as you can muster. But you have got to surround yourself!!!! Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT try and go through these feelings on your own. If nothing else, yell, kick, & scream on these boards.. We can take it.. We been there.. We have been where you R !

Finally, you are in my prayers and make no mistake about that!

Love

Eric

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: I hurt... new
      #190328 - 05/08/06 09:18 PM

Well, if it helps any....here is a big bear hug for you
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: I hurt... new
      #190330 - 05/08/06 09:22 PM

see you already have a fan club HP!!

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
SA_Intellect
Guru

Reged: 03/27/06
Posts: 247
Loc: San Antonio, Texas
Re: I hurt... new
      #190343 - 05/08/06 10:45 PM

After you get your back and colon surgery. Find a job near your family fast and get back over there.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
HealingPower
Regular

Reged: 04/30/06
Posts: 30
Loc: MD
Re: I hurt... new
      #190349 - 05/09/06 12:21 AM

I do partly want to go back home and be with family, but I keep getting confirmation from pastors, and little things to stay here, but as I was asking God not if I have no support. I appreciate this board, God KNOWS I DO! But this is just a piece of assistance, there is still the hugging of self, and no one to personally talk to, and I am NOT up for the counseling thing(unless I do it out of town) b/c it's really impersonal, and I can tell my business to anyone. I'm weird like that. I'm about relationships and deep connections with everyone you are in touch with on a constant basis. But this just frustrates me so badly! I mean I cried like crazy! I can barely clean my apt. I go to work, do my job, come home watch a dvd, and mope. I need to get connected with more people in this city, but it's just so difficult, I can't trust anyone too much, people are so sneaky and misguided it seems. Or maybe my eyes are a little more open lately. I will put my trust in the Lord on that one.

--------------------
2 Corinthians 12:9



Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: I hurt... new
      #190433 - 05/09/06 02:27 PM

HP, Have you thought of contacting your local ASO (Aids Service Organiation) and find a support group where you can talk to others (like you) face to face? They are quite benificial for your mental wellbeing... Just a thought..


Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
goofyme
Fanatic

Reged: 03/15/06
Posts: 56
Loc: nyc
Re: I hurt... new
      #190475 - 05/09/06 06:23 PM

Dear HP

I hear and feel you, I have been there myself without the surgeries. I came here when I felt alone this past March.

if you need people to talk to, we are here at different times of the day. So, hope all goes well with your surgeries and that after you recover, think about what you want to do and do it.

I know it is easy to talk, but it is harder to do. However, do what you must.

be well,

goofyme

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
HealingPower
Regular

Reged: 04/30/06
Posts: 30
Loc: MD
Re: I hurt... new
      #190485 - 05/09/06 06:58 PM

I thought about that, I may need to find one in Charlotte though you are right, but it's still slightly not what I'm looking for. I'll look around. A slightly funny note is my Health Benefits covers Mental/Substance Abuse Counseling, lol, love that BCBS of NC. LOL.

--------------------
2 Corinthians 12:9



Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
pooo
Fanatic

Reged: 04/23/06
Posts: 56
Re: I hurt... new
      #190490 - 05/09/06 07:49 PM

Hey Healing Power!
I sent you a private message a while back and I just want you to keep your head up and everything will be fine! If you ever need to talk e-mail me MzPoeticVibez@aol.com

B Blessed Honey!

~WalkingByFaith

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: I hurt... new
      #190501 - 05/09/06 08:47 PM

I will say one thing more.. ADAP programs are fine as long as they are HIV related. NOT SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES (unless you have one). Even going to a psychologist who has know background in HIV counceling will waste your time. Councelors may have some idea about HIV but if thats not their speciality, it aint going to help you. Thats why I recomend a group that is HIV or AIDS formated topics of discussion.... This is very important. I dont know how you can judge something without going to one. But thats your decision...

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
HealingPower
Regular

Reged: 04/30/06
Posts: 30
Loc: MD
Re: I hurt... new
      #190531 - 05/09/06 10:28 PM

Thanks WBF! I appreciate you luv, I'll contact you, for sure. And Eric, I'll find some time to look one up and give it a shot. LOL. You are interesting in your advice. It's like "now listen, you might wanna take this advice I'm givin," "but if you don't, don't say I told you so." It's kinda big brother meets, experienced teacher." I LOVE IT MAN! I hear ya undertones bruh. Thank you.

--------------------
2 Corinthians 12:9



Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
sadface
Legend

Reged: 02/15/06
Posts: 797
Re: I hurt... new
      #191457 - 05/15/06 02:28 PM

You are not alone!! We are here for you!
SF

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1


What's New at TheBody.com

Additional Information
0 registered and 1 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  TheBody, bogart, crabman, riverprincess 

Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is enabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Thread views: 7720

 
Jump to

Contact Us | Privacy Statement The Body

*
UBB.threads™ 6.2.3