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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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Most Distraught
Unregistered

I hate that I've become a statistic
      #186547 - 04/15/06 04:40 PM

I'm TWENTY imagine that and I wasn't a wild child by any means and I didn't even practice unsafe sex I can't count the number of times I've had unprotected sex on one hand and even then I never let anyone ejaculate in me. So here I am pretty ahead of the pack compared to people my age with a car, a home, and a job, and I have HIV its ridiculous I haven't really freaked out because I'm a bio major I know its not the be all end all but I have a boyfriend who is in the military and I know once I tell him it will be over because not only does HIV jeopardize his life but it jeopardizes his job, I would like to think that I would have his support but I would completely understand if he left if the tables were turned I can't say that I would stay. I don't wanna kill myself I'm too conceited, But I'm in school and my family lives 600 miles away I'm alone in this city and I'm afraid to tell my "friends" because I'm not sure how they would react. This is crazy I want to get help but I'm not sure of who to contact first the people that did the testing seem cool but I don't wanna go to some crappy place I don't have insurance my family doesn't have insurance I feel fine now but I don't kno my CD4 or T-cell counts so on the outside looking in i'm on the top of the world but in all actuality I feel quite screwed.

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GamboJim
Newbie

Reged: 04/14/06
Posts: 9
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186552 - 04/15/06 05:22 PM

Questions

1. When did you find out and what made you get tested?
2. What was your risk/exposure?

We're here to help you out


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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186555 - 04/15/06 05:52 PM

MD.. Welcome to TheBody. Sorry for you to be welcomed this way, but all the same, we are happy you have found this safe venue to share your hopes, cares and concerns. We have all been where you are and where you are going.

Love

Eric

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186560 - 04/15/06 06:21 PM

Whoa. Slow down. Are you assuming that your boyfriend is HIV negative???? He needs to get tested. Also, no, its not the end of anything. If you were married you would have more support in terms of insurance...but still....not the end of anything. If he loves you he will support you in this. You may need counseling. You may have to go to your AIDS Service Organizatiobn to get help. You may have to do a lot of things that most 20 year olds dont have to do.
Type AIDS Service Organizations ( your city) into a google search.
Feeling fine is not enough. I feel fine after 17 years with HIV but I have blood drawn every six months to chart my progress.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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SA_Intellect
Guru

Reged: 03/27/06
Posts: 247
Loc: San Antonio, Texas
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186562 - 04/15/06 06:27 PM

It's so horrible to get HIV so young. This really sucks! I am just as distraught as you are. I found out almost 3 weeks ago. I am still freaking out! I hate being a statistic too. I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I wasn't being risky.

Anyway, it's important that you get immediate treatment. The first thing you should do is get the confirmation test done to make sure this is true. Secondly, contact your local Government-Sponsored Aids Foundation or contact the HIV helpline at your university.

Most government-funded foundations are able to get you treatment for free (at least the one in my city does). You need to find out what your options are and fast! Call the Aids foundation and see. If they are able to get you help, they will send you to a clinic where doctors deal with HIV all the time, so they will be quite knowledgable so don't worry about that. The clinic probably wouldn't be crappy either. Go back to the foundation you got tested at and use them for support. Tell them you have no insurance and that you're going to need lots of help.

Also, how did you get HIV? If you got it from your friend he needs to know he is infected. He'll find out anyway, because they do testing once a year in the military. He cannot be kicked out of the military for being HIV positive!!

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AIDS2HIV
Unregistered

Post deleted by Becky new
      #186576 - 04/15/06 09:47 PM



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186594 - 04/16/06 01:43 AM

Dear MD,

Truly sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I know that right now you feel screwed. And when you think your risk factor is very low, it's a huge shock and seems so unreal. I know. Your mind is going like 200mph. Just wanted to make a couple of points:

1) Under the "connect" tab at the top of the page, go to "Get Help" or do like Bear said to get hooked up with an ASO in your area. They are a boon of info and support. They will most likely be able to hook you up with free HIV related medical care since you're uninsured, as well as free therapy and support groups and a whole host of other services.

Question: Did you feel that the place you got tested was "some crappy place?" Even if you don't feel like you want to get service there, they might be able to refer you to another organization. But you might want to go back and just tell them the concerns you shared here and ask how/if they can help you.

2) If you and your boyfriend are meant to be together, you will be. And if he ends up being HIV+ as well, he won't lose his job. There are people in the military with HIV. There's even a board here on The Body for positive people in the military.

3) This is a great place for support, so keep coming back here with your questions, fears, etc...but I'd say to also get connected with some other positive people IRL. It's one of the best things you can do for yourself.

4) You are only "a statistic" in your mind.

Good luck -

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186596 - 04/16/06 03:35 AM

I just found out and I got tested because I was considering moving into a more serious relationship and it was just something that I wanted to do...We've always had safe sex that is why I believe I must have contracted it prior. I mean I'm am in a high risk group being a gay black male but I'm by no means a sex kitten I could write down everyone I've ever had sex with and I'm sure I can pinpoint the source. Does anyone use alternative medicine in combination with their anti-HIV treatment I'm a bio major so i've been reading up on a lot of studies and I'm wondering if they are being put into practice. My biggest fear is wasting away

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186627 - 04/16/06 12:28 PM

I would guess that wasting is NOT going to be your biggest problem. However, there are lots of ways to combat the wasting....exercise, diet and so on. Most likely this is not something you have to worry about for a long time.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186630 - 04/16/06 12:40 PM

Christ, I have put on weight since my diagnosis! Thank God the health club is just down stairs! I was at least hoping to drop a bit and get something at least positive out of the +ve.. Wasting is way way way out there in the future and with the improvements in therapies, its part of that equation to...

Screw your head on straight is your biggest hurdle!
Get appropriate health care.
Find a support group of people whom you can talk with.

Best,

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186644 - 04/16/06 02:16 PM

I would like to know....what you mean by " STATISTIC".
I mean we are all statistics. To some extent. Everyone in the USA is a statistic. We are polled about what we watch on TV, who we vote for, what we spend on vacations each year and how often we fly. I feel like a statistic all the time. Gay men statistically have more disposable income....therefore we get all this hype about clothes and RSVP cruises. I never considered being HIV poz anything different than NORMAL.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Survivor
Legend

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186647 - 04/16/06 02:44 PM

Buffy, behave!! - but u r right sweetie..

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186652 - 04/16/06 03:19 PM

Eric....darling...that favorite Rock Hudson comedy (with Doris Day) is PILLOW TALK. In this film Rock Hudson, macho man that he was, played like he was "gay" to entice Doris Day, an interior decorator, to show some interest in him. It was one of the best Rock Husaon pics. I just HAD to throw that in.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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deeva
Member

Reged: 02/22/06
Posts: 11
Re: I hate that I've become a statistic new
      #186681 - 04/16/06 07:53 PM

I WAS A HETERO WOMAN DXED AT 43 TRUST ME I WOULD HAVE BEEN ALOT WILDER....ITS THE LUCK OF THE DRAW..BE HAPPY

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I hate that I've become a statistic
      #186835 - 04/18/06 05:56 AM

i am not an expert on this issues, but sometimes you need someone to vent out, even out of this forums. if you need someone to listen, email me.zabdyy@yahoo.com

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