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dj1979
Regular

Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 276
Loc: rural upstate NY
Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!!
      #182433 - 03/26/06 12:08 PM

I posted an "ask the expert" question to Dr. Bob, and he answered it. I copied it here.

Should we abstain from sex for now?
Mar 25, 2006

I am 44, had been monogamous with my husband 13 years, until an affair in late Dec./early Jan. when hubby and I separated for a short time. We got back together 1/13, and on 1/31 I got sick. Fever, extreme fatigue, malaise, rash on my chest, muscle aches, nausea & some vomiting, just generally felt like crap. Diagnosed with pyelonephritis, but didnt't get better on antibiotics. Had a CBC, which showed WBC of 2000 and shift to the left, I think - many bands (??). Further labs showed elevated liver function. Hematologist worked me up for lupus (negative, including ANA and double strand DNA), hepatitis, etc. I did a lot of checking on-line, and since it was about 3 weeks after a lot of sex, including anal, with this other man, it looked like acute retroviral syndrome was possible. Initial HIV test was ELISA positive, Western Blot indeteriminate - that was Feb. 8th, got results 2/28. Had second test drawn 2/28, got results 3/13 - ELISA positive, Western Blot positive, rapid test positive for HIV-1. I got the name of a few doctors from our local AIDS program, and went to one Wed. evening. He is an OB/GYN and primary care physician, with 19 years experience dealing with HIV. He talked to my hubby and I (hubby is negative thus far)and advised us against any sex at this point. He said 2 months after exposure I am just too highly infectious, and the 90% protection from condoms isn't enough right now. Keep in mind at this point, no viral load or CD4 numbers yet - those were drawn Thurs. He said my immune system is just now starting to win the fight against HIV, as indicated by an elevated protein level, and CBC returning to normal.

Have you ever advised against any sexual intercourse in the early stages of HIV infection? Is this really the best thing to do for now?




Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your recent HIV diagnosis. Regarding HIV-transmission risk, it is true that "infectiousness" is higher when plasma HIV viral load is higher (and vice versa). At this point, you and your husband are a magnetic couple (one positive, one negative). You will need to realistically redraw boundaries for safer sex. Communication is key. Discuss what each of you feels is safe (or unsafe) based on your individual comfort level and the medical facts. Create a safer-sex ritual you both agree to. It's important to note many magnetic couples (including yours truly) have very successful and satisfying sexual relationships. Use the information on this site and related links to review the sexual risk of various sexual activities.

Do I recommend against all sexual intercourse in the early stages of HIV infection? No, I recommend safer sexual practices and negotiated risk for all magnetic couples at all stages of the infection. Review the information in the archives of this forum pertaining to magnetic (serodiscordant) couples.

Good luck to both you and your husband.

Dr. Bob



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ravi
Veteran

Reged: 11/19/05
Posts: 1148
Loc: Adelaide, Australia
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182440 - 03/26/06 12:25 PM

hi

regards from india

One of those lucky one's..who get answered!

I am happy for you.....Goodluck



--------------------
Take Care

God Bless you

Stay Well

Love Ravi

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Survivor
Veteran

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182448 - 03/26/06 01:09 PM

DJ... GO GET SOME HONEY!

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Bear60
Veteran

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182470 - 03/26/06 04:37 PM

Hubby and you should be able to enjoy a safe sex experience.....right? Well, glad Dr Bob responded to you and you are given the "go ahead".

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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dj1979
Regular

Reged: 03/02/06
Posts: 276
Loc: rural upstate NY
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182473 - 03/26/06 04:43 PM

LOL - already did - 2 nights in a row!!! Condoms ain't so bad....more staying power....

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Survivor
Veteran

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182491 - 03/26/06 05:41 PM

does that mean he just goes and goes and goes?

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Survivor
Veteran

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182492 - 03/26/06 05:43 PM

ill keep an eye out for you on the streets. looking for the gal who just got off a 500 mile horse ride at a full gallup..

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182525 - 03/26/06 08:09 PM

If you look at the responses that Dr. Bob gives he is always overly optomistic. For example. If you had asked him about your symptoms before your test turned positive he would have said that you are not hiv positive.

He is a liberal politician looking for donations so he tells people what they want to hear rather than tackling the difficut issues.

Wait till your viral load drops!

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franfrog
Veteran

Reged: 01/05/06
Posts: 1342
Loc: NJ
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182576 - 03/27/06 07:51 AM

Oh I have gotten about three or four questions answered from Dr BOB

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franfrog
Veteran

Reged: 01/05/06
Posts: 1342
Loc: NJ
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182577 - 03/27/06 07:52 AM

I know that feeling!!!!My husband was against them, now he does not mind! Neither do I !!!!

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sadface
Veteran

Reged: 02/15/06
Posts: 797
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182578 - 03/27/06 07:54 AM

WooooooooooWeeeeeeee, ride em' cowboy!!
Love you Dj,
Melissa

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Bear60
Veteran

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182591 - 03/27/06 09:41 AM

My hubby came home from work last night and said that the biggest ticket item he sold was a heavy metal ball stretcher which he sold to a straight woman. DJ....I thought of you...well and of Eric too lol.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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Survivor
Veteran

Reged: 10/30/05
Posts: 3256
Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182601 - 03/27/06 10:32 AM

I have no fucking clue what a "metal ball stretcher" could possibly be. Can you give me a link to the site so I can be better equiped to answer these questions as they arrise or pop up from time to time on this HIV/AIDS support FORUM?

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firefly
Regular

Reged: 01/22/06
Posts: 431
Loc: Orange County, Calif.
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182603 - 03/27/06 10:41 AM

*whispers*.....Whats a ball stretcher?????

--------------------
You are a diamond in the rough !

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Bear60
Veteran

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: Dr. Bob answered my question about safe sex!!! new
      #182605 - 03/27/06 10:52 AM

The shop has no website....so you need to do some googling.
Sijmply ball stretchers are designed to stretch or weigh down the balls....it can be a metal ring type thing or a leather strap type thing. Dont ask for more......!!!



--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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