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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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Anonymous
Unregistered

HIV + Husband, I'm -
      #17211 - 04/05/01 06:22 PM

My husband of 3 months just had two positive Elisa tests. I was tested after we found out about him and it came back negative. We have not gone for the Westen Blot test yet, since we need a break from all the stress of testing and waiting for results. My husband is devastated. He is blaming himself, and feels like he has ruined my life. He feels like he can't see any future outside of treatments, sickness and death. He doesn't want me to have to work to support his illness. At this point in time, he is in perfect health, but I am worried that his depression will drag him down. To complicate things just a bit more, we are not living in the United States at the moment, so I am at a loss as to where to go to get support for us. Is there anyone out there in a similar situation? Most of the information I can find is for gay couples. I know we can't be the only ones out there....



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: HIV + Husband, I'm - new
      #17366 - 04/13/01 12:30 PM

Call a hotline in your state. YOu are so not alone. There are so many women in your predicament. The hotline can tell you about support groups for straight couples, Or for women.
Check out the women section on this bbs. Also make up a yahoo or hotmail account and put it here and you're sure to hear from lots of other women. I am negative but my husband in positive and could have infected me. CarolB



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Jan
Unregistered

Re: HIV + Husband, I'm - new
      #17415 - 04/17/01 09:50 AM

My husband tested positive in Feb. of this year.
I know where you are at this time. In a huge black hole and you can see nothing good. Been there, done that, hated every minute. But the good news is that with a little time and a lot of research by both of you, you will begin to see that this is not as bad as you first thought.
The most important thing you can do is to learn about the disease. It is not a death sentence, treatment is available and is effective, it does not mean the end of your sex life or that you cannot have a family. The terrible side effects you read about rarely happen to "healthy" people in the early stages of treatment with HIV+ people (they do occur, earlier if one has already progressed to AIDS or just later on in therapy with HIV+ only people) and current research is so promising that conceivably we could have a vaccine to protect you and one to make him well within a 5 to 10 year time.
Get the western blot done. It may confirm what you already fear but you should know that, rarely, there have been reports of false positive results with the Elisa. You need to have him get his CD4 and Viral load counts because that will help him decide whether or not to start treatment.
My husbands numbers came back very low so we are considering holding off from the drugs for now.
Good luck to you. Please know that things do get better and you eventually feel like a normal, regular person again. Get your husband on the internet for information now!



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Carmen
Newbie

Reged: 04/23/01
Posts: 1
Re: HIV + Husband, I'm - new
      #17557 - 04/23/01 09:16 PM

Thank you so much for your words. They are very comforting. Would it would possible for us to email outside of here? I just registered so any replies will be sent to an email account. To be honest, one of the worst parts of this has been the feeling that we are all alone in dealing with this. Right now we are not living in the United States, so there are very few support networks for us to go to. This is pretty much it. We are moving back home in June so things will improve then, but right now, I really need to hear from someone who is going through the same thing. My biggest fear right now is not loss of our sex life or not being able to have a family, but the depression and anxiety that my husabnd is going through. Did you have to face this, too? How can I help him through this? We are starting to gather information and he has connected with some other people in our situation, so things are starting to improve, but everyday is still a struggle. Thank you agian for answering. It has helped just to know that we are not the only ones...



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michael
Unregistered

Re: HIV + Husband, I'm - new
      #17946 - 05/22/01 04:56 PM

I great website with support links is the King County Public Health site (Seattle WA) http://www.metrokc.gov/health/apu/
They have a free once a month Email treatment newsletter STEP100@aol.com
A paper newsletter called "STEP perspective" Step stands for the Seattle Education Project step@stepproject.org, both publications have different content.
Additionally, a hotline with very knowledgable people 206-205-7837

Your husband is luckly to have you. I wish u both the best!




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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: HIV + Husband, I'm - new
      #18935 - 07/04/01 04:37 PM

I understand the devastation you feel because my partner just tested pos also, and I am negative. The disease does not discriminate between straight/gay. Thus, the research for gay men is AS valuable for you as any gay man. I suggest you do extensive research. If you have tested negative there is no reason to get a Western Blot test done, it tends to have higher levels of false positives than the Elisa. Continue testing and get individual and couples counseling. We all face roadblocks in relationships, and as bad as this seems you will make it through! Hang in there, and now is the time to be as open and caring with your husband as possible! We all are praying for you!



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: HIV + Husband, I'm - new
      #98758 - 05/14/04 10:29 AM

Log on to: http://natureproducts.net/medicine/Revivo.html

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