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HIV Life >> Teens

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Anonymous
Unregistered

hiv risk
      #27224 - 01/20/02 10:38 AM

I have question that I need help on. Someone I know has aids. At our wedding, my teenage daughter said, "look, something is on my glass for the toast." I noticed it was red and assumed one of the strawberries had been dropped against it. I told her to just go wash it off. Moments later, I saw a friend applying a band-aid to the hand of the guy pouring the champagne. He must have cut himself on the wire that you have to undo on the bottle, and held my daughter's glass in his hand to fill it without realizing it had been cut.

I have been prone to anxiety attacks and in the past have sought counseling for dealing with over reacting and believing in gloom and doom for those I love. At one time, if I was driving and I hit a bump, I would turn around and go back several times to be sure it was a bump and not a person I hit. The counselor told me not to give in to these thoughts.

I have tried to tell myself not to go overboard with this thing and my daughter. I was hoping that once the blood was exposed to air the virus would die. She wouldn't have had any bleeding cuts, but she does bite her nails and fidget with the skin along her nails.

One part of me is telling me to get her tested. The other is telling me I am freaking out again. How would I explain it to her if it WERE true? Please tell me how much of a risk she is at.

Thanks,
mom



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PozCountryBoy
Member

Reged: 08/17/00
Posts: 13
Loc: Ocala, FL USA
Re: hiv risk new
      #27229 - 01/20/02 05:42 PM

I have a question because your post was not clear at all, was the person pouring the champagne HIV positive? I also hope that no one ever reacts to me this way!



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: hiv risk new
      #27240 - 01/21/02 09:11 AM

Please don't feel offended. I am sorry that my worry over my daughter comes out that way. I love the person who was pouring the champagne, and yes he does have aids. My worry is that my daughter was exposed. The other side is am I worry about something that couldn't have happened...ie..does the virus survive against a glass.

Again, I am sorry if I offended you. Believe me, I did not intend to. In fact the person who performed our wedding ceremony is gay. That is not theissue here.

thanks,



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gregg629
Guardian

Reged: 04/16/01
Posts: 438
Loc: Boston
Re: hiv risk new
      #27241 - 01/21/02 09:41 AM

I want to start off by saying that I more then know what your asking and don't feel your being out of line. I also more then understand why PozCountryBoy responded the way he did. It's kinda hard tight rope balancing act sometimes.

The fact that you know the person pouring the champagne is HIV positive or might have AIDS is important.

But what is equally important to know is that HIV does not live well outside the body. As hard as a virus as it is to kill when it's inside someone it is very delicate when it's outside the body. It also needs an open wound to enter the body, just touching infected blood isn't enough and biting nails or the skin around them still isn't considered enough, the body starts to heal quickly, so you bite the skin around your nail and within a short time the body has started to heal and close off the wound. Your daughter would have needed to have open bleeding wounds on her fingers and very quickly after the infected blood was put on the glass rubbed them against it.

I wouldn't do anything about it. One thing to be careful of tho, this is the season where people get sore throats, colds, swolen lymp nodes, cold sweats, run tempratures and all sorts of things. If any of these thigns happen to your daughter, consider the time of year and please don't jump to the conclusing that it's signs of ARS.

I hope this helps.

Gregg



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: hiv risk new
      #27243 - 01/21/02 10:05 AM

Dear Gregg,

Thank you so much for your kind and understanding response. The guy pouring the champagne is very dear to me and does indeed have AIDS which he continues to manage as well as can be expected. This happened a while back and stil continues to nag at me. In fact, the other day I was watching ER and apparently a mother on there did not seek treatment for whatever her child had. She said to her other child,"I sat back and did nothing,while it was eating him up inside." Well, I had to take a deep breath as my dauhter was sitting there next to me. I am very hard on myself and try to be the best mom I can. I had dreams that night of me being charged with child abuse for not seeking testing. As you can see, this weighs heavily on my mind, and though I try to keep informed about hiv and aids because of my friend, apparently I don't do a very good job, and likewise offend people in the asking.

Thanks for your kind response.



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PozCountryBoy
Member

Reged: 08/17/00
Posts: 13
Loc: Ocala, FL USA
Re: hiv risk new
      #27245 - 01/21/02 11:02 AM

My reaction was due to the fact that I am gay, but because I am 27 years old and was enrolled at the Culinary Institute of America, but was told that due to my status I should re-think my career choices (no one wants to eat what a POZ chef cooks, liability and the like). I apologize, I should have considered your point of view. I guess another thing that strikes me funny is this: Why not just get her tested? I have a feeling that will be the only thing to put your mind at ease. I would like to point out that I was infected at 21, and contrary to the belief of many, HIV is not the end of the world. In fact it has made me a much stronger person, and has turned my life around. I am sorry that I came off so harsh, it wasn't my intention, but fear is never the answer, nor is seeking scientific advice from a board such as this. The best support can be found on this board, but scientific advice needs to come from your doctor. If we stop treating HIV as a illness and disease that needs to be kept quiet it will become more acceptable to discuss it in public, with doctors, nurses, clergy, and FAMILY. Again I am sorry. My prayers are with you and your daughter.

Carl



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