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Maintaining a Hetero Neg/POS relationship
      #98215 - 05/09/04 04:38 PM

We just recently found out my partner (male) has been infected - I am negative - My fears are huge and my knowledge is limited but growing daily.

How safe can sex be? How to keep a clean enviroment? What about preparing meals? What about children's risk of exposure?

Any info is appreciated

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Reged: 02/26/04
Posts: 272
Loc: Arizona
Re: Maintaining a Hetero Neg/POS relationship new
      #98739 - 05/14/04 02:48 AM

Look at this post: "i am married to and HIV man" it may be helpful

"No act of kindness,
no matter how small,
is ever wasted." AESOP

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Re: Maintaining a Hetero Neg/POS relationship new
      #98952 - 05/20/04 03:55 AM

I'm in your situation. As a matter of fact, a few of us have been looking to form a support group. I think it would be so great.

My husband-to-be is positive and I'm negative. We've been together for over 3 years and have an awesome relationship. As far as your concerns go... 1)Sex- use a condom (obvious). As long as you're diligent, you should be okay. What is his viral load? That can make someone more or less contagious. Don't get me wrong, an undetectable viral load doesn't mean that you can't be infected, it just makes it less likely. In case of condom breakage, talk to your doctor about a "back-up" plan. It happened to me. Within a couple hours of the incident, I was on my fiance's meds for a month and I turned out fine.

2) Everything else is fine. You will not contract HIV from dishes, toilets, dirty linens, toothbrushes, etc. HIV is a delicate virus and doesn't fair well outside the human body. He can't infect children unless he's having unprotected sex with them. Kisses and hugs are harmless. As a matter of fact, one would have to swallow an entire gallon of saliva ALL AT ONCE in order to get enough virus to cause infection.

I hear your concerns...I was just like you. The best thing I did was to thoroughly educate myself on HIV and AIDS. I spoke to my fiance's doctor and had him answer all my questions and dispell many myths. I think it would be great for you to talk to your boyfriend's doctor. You'll feel a lot better once you do.

I'm in a healthy, happy and strong relationship. We're doing great, I don't live in fear. I wish you the same.

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