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My husband was sick with PCP
#924 - 03/30/00 10:00 PM
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My husband was diagnosed with AIDS last month after getting very
sick with PCP. I tested negative (I also tested negative when I
donated blood two years ago.) We have been married for nine years
and have two children over five. My husband has been ill off and
on for the last two years. It started out with 'back pain' and
weight loss which we thought was due to the pain. This year he
has had a constant stream of infections: strep, bronchitis(?)
colds, etc. and had been put on antibiotics six different times.
It wasn't until this summer that he felt the shortness of breath
that took us to the emergency room where the physician who saw
him recognized his immune system problems and got us to a
specialist who 'saw' the pneumonia. After weeks in the hospital,
he is home and taking a wonderful selection of medications for
both treatment and prophylaxis. His CD4 count came back under 50
so he will have an uphill battle. I am struggling to understand
this situation. I don't know how or if he will respond to the
medications. I hate the uncertainty. I don't know what will
happen. Will he get better? Will he get worse? Will he tolerate
the drugs (AZT,3TC, and Crixivan)? (AND WHERE did he get HIV?!)
And to go along with all this, I have to work, take care of my
husband, the kids, the house, the yard, and find a little time
for me. Will I continue to test negative? Should I get the
children tested even though I don't see any way they could be
infected. I feel like I'm burning out already. But I have some
good friends who support me. I have a wonderful family praying
for me. I have two beautiful children. I have a wonderful church
family. I pray for strength daily. Anybody else in this boat with
me?
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Is anyone else in the same boat not exactly but pretty darn
close. My husband is also positive and I am negative. We found
out after appling for more life insurance because we were
expecting our second child and thought it would be a good idea ,
well it turned out it was both bad and good . The shock of
finding out was terrible but it also gives us options that we
would not have if we still didnt know. I am sorry that you also
are dealing with this disease but many people are. I guess I can
only tell you what works for us and hopefully it might help you.
First off and sometimes the hardest is try to stick togehter you
are both going through a very tough thing. I found a therapist
with the help of my physician and it has helped . I try to focus
on the fact that my husband is still the same person I married
and try to appreciate him even more because I know that there may
come a time that I wont be able to be with him any longer. As far
as time for yourself good luck I have two small children both
under the age of 3 so I cant say I have any free time either, but
what I do is not sweat the little things. So the laundry hasnt
been done who cares. As long as we have clean clothes for that
day I could really care less. I would rather spend the time with
my husband and kids. We also do alot of little things. Family
walks, color together, wrestle, make cookies. Whatever as long as
we have each other . As far as for having the kids tested, I did
just because I would not be abel to sleep if I didn"t. so if for
that fact alone it was worth it. Try to prepare yourself for the
future . I started going back to school full time so I could
support the family if need be and if I never have to, we will be
that much farther ahead. I dont know if any of this helped but
remember there are many people going through the same thing. P.S.
Hang in there, it has been one yeat for us and we still have bad
days but we have many more good ones than we ever thought
possible when we first found out. Themis 9
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I know exactly how you feel, and was also put in the same predicament as you...my husband was diagnosed last month with PCP, and it went downhill from there...I was tested anonymously and it came back negative...therefore, our two sons would be negative as well...
Dh is going to be starting his HIV treatment very soon, and we are trying to prepare for the rocky road ahead of us...
I too am a full-time working mom of two, and find I am covering the slack of everything at home as well....he is trying but most days I feel like a loose cannon with anxieties of things to get done...not enough hours, and our finances are kaput.
But then I have cut back alot on the chores and expenses, I now only do what is necessary, and the rest can wait...I too need time for myself, and try to find it even in a 5 minute walk by myself...or playing on the computer.
My stress is nothing compared to his, but I feel like I am losing my wits about me sometimes, especially when I can't tell anyone, as per his request, and it is hard for me to not talk about how I feel.
Best wishes to all our wits and our battle ahead...
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I also found out that my husband is also positive. I love him very much. But I have lost the trust in this relationship. Your letter is inspirational and Pray that God will be with youall and there will be a cure for this infection. Because that is what it is. My first test has been postive and I have faith that God has guard me from this.
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