Advertisement
The Body: The Complete HIV/AIDS Resource
Follow Us Follow Us on Facebook Follow Us on Twitter Download Our App
Professionals >> Visit The Body PROThe Body en Espanol

Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

Pages: 1
Anonymous
Unregistered

-female/+male
      #90819 - 02/29/04 10:31 AM

My boyfriend who has had HIV for the past 8 years just got his numbers back. Good number is up to 1118, Viral load is 789. He has fluxuated like this for the past 8 years.

I guess what Im looking for is someone to speak to me about their partners. Them being in a +/- relationship.

How long have you been together?

Do you have children?

What types of problems have you had?

What is the likelihood that he'll ever get full blown AIDS?

What is the likelihood that Ill ever get HIV?

Thank you


Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: -female/+male new
      #90873 - 03/01/04 07:42 AM

If he keeps taking his medications, he should be fine. But he needs to take them on time EVERy day.

As for you getting HIV....it depends on how careful you are. You need to be committed to staying negative. This means making sure he always wears a condom. ALWAYS! He also has to be committed to this. No wavering. No momentary lapses.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Moffie
All Star

Reged: 02/14/04
Posts: 85
Loc: Arizona
Re: -female/+male new
      #91057 - 03/03/04 10:30 AM

Hi Neggie;

Been positive since Sept. 1983, been with my HIV- man for 16 years. We are careful, but not obsessive. Lovemaking is normal and varied, but always protected.

I went to full AIDS in 1994, CD4s were 20, and the vl test was not availible until '96. When first tested vl was 500,000.
If his CD4 is still over 1100, that is considered normal for a person like you who is not HIV infected. Nobody knows if he will ever progress to full AIDS, I have a friend who was infected in 1979 and he didn't convert to full AIDS until last year. This is very much an individual disease, and the statistics are there for us to make generalizations, not to set rules.

Live on and Play safe, you both have a long future together.

Peace.

--------------------
Yours;
Tim
"Living Positive Since '83"

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
squawkers7
Newbie

Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2
Loc: Kingman,AZ
Re: -female/+male new
      #91708 - 03/10/04 02:14 AM

John and I have been friends for about 5 years with some ups & downs. During a down time, he met another women which ended up having a beautiful daughter who is now 3 1/2
He was diagnosed with HIV and Hep C 2 years ago. Because of his diagnoses I have been getting tested every 8-9 months and so far I'm fine. He goes back to the Dr tomorrow and should get the results of his genotype test and we can figure out what his next step will be.
I have 7 kids of my own. John told my oldest daughter about his HIV last Summer. She was concerned and still asks how he is doing when we call each other.
Some days are easier to handle then others but would never think of leaving him just because of his HIV status.
Squawkers7@yahoo.com

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
tina
Unregistered

Re: -female/+male new
      #93889 - 03/30/04 10:57 AM

HI my husband found out he was posotive this past summer we married anyway in october. I too am (-) and am frightend I will get it. We have been togather for 6 years they are saying that he has had it for some time. I too have many questions perhaps we could awnser some of each others.
I dont know who you are but you are in my prayers.
God Bless,
Tina

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Broken_Angel1
Guru

Reged: 02/26/04
Posts: 272
Loc: Arizona
Re: -female/+male new
      #94032 - 03/31/04 09:00 PM

My husband and I have been together for 11 years. I'm the one that is +. My husband has children that are now grown. I am not able to have children because of a hysterectomy.

In the beginning, my husband and I have difficulties in me totally living in my illness. I had no joy. Things got much better with counseling for me. For the most part our problems are just like anyone other couple. It is difficult for my husband to see me get sick, asking himself could this be the "thing" that could hurt or kill me wife each time. But he is strong and he loves me and he knows I will not give up!!

As far as AIDS is concerned...I have been treating for HIV for 12 years now and I just recently got an AIDS diagnosis based ONLY on my percentages. I have no opportunistic infections at this point.

If you are really careful (condoms) and get educated you should not get the virus.

It is great your boyfriend has such good numbers. Tell him keep it up and stay as healthy and stress free as humanly possible. He has a very long life ahead of him. The drugs out there are amazing..and with every med they are extending our lives.

Oh, and you didn't ask but...yes you both can have kids together. You would have to be closely guided by a Doctor..but it can be done with very little risk.

--------------------
"No act of kindness,
no matter how small,
is ever wasted." AESOP


Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: -female/+male new
      #94426 - 04/05/04 02:37 PM

Hello,

I'm in a pos/neg relation, I'm the guy with HIV (she's the girl without it). We've been together for 6 years, and speak together on the topic of sero-diverse relationships.
To answer your questions, we don't have children and have no plans to. The main problem we had in terms of my health came at the beginning of our relationship in 1999, I was diagnosed with AIDS (t-cells were below 50, VL was close to a million), but I started on HIV meds for the first time and that helped me get my health back (I was diagnosed in 1987 at age 11, infected around 1982).

If you use protection correctly, then the liklihood of you getting HIV is very low. Couples in our situation, where it is known that one partner is positive and the other is negative, have a great success rate in keeping the person who is HIV negative safe.

For more info, check out our web site, it's at www.aboyagirlavirus.com

I hope this helps!
Shawn

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: -female/+male new
      #94600 - 04/07/04 12:52 PM

I was so glad to read your post!! I am engaged to a positive man. We've been together for 3 years. He's been positive for 17 years. He's in great health (thank God). I go to therapy, and a couple of close friends know, but other than that, I don't have anyone to relate to. (Haven't told my family about his status). I sometimes feel like I'm the only one on the planet in this situation (obviously, I'm not!) I'm looking for a support group in NYC. Have you heard of any?

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: -female/+male new
      #94601 - 04/07/04 01:10 PM

Hey, it's me again, forgot to answer your questions.

1) Yes, we do plan to have kids. Dr. Sauer in NYC does it through a process called "sperm washing". He has a great success rate. I know someone with twins conceived that way.

2) Problems? Hmmn. I guess the only problem I've had is wanting someone to talk to who is in my position. Plus the jitters around test time (every 6 months). Haven't told the family (would be best not to). Other than that, sex is pretty normal (always protected) but normal.

3) The likelihood of you getting HIV is pretty slim as long as you're using protection. Gotta be dilligent. There's also a good back-up plan should a condom break (happened to me). Our doctor started me on HIV medication immediately (within 72 hours of accident). I took it for a month, got tested a month later and I was fine.

3) AIDS- I talked to our doctor at length about this (Dr. Jeffrey Greene NYC). He's an excellent doctor. He told me that everyone's body handles the virus differently. Some stay healthly while others don't. Luckily, there are advances being made all the time in AIDS meds that are keeping people healthier, longer. My fiance has an undetectable viral load and a t-cell count of 800 (not bad after 17 years of infection!). Dr. Greene says I'll most likely have him hanging around 'till we're in our 90's. He'll probably die of old age rather than AIDS. I do encourage you to speak to your boyfiend's doctor. He can better fill you in on his prognosis.

I hope I've helped. We need a support group!! Where do you live?

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Positoid
Newbie

Reged: 04/05/04
Posts: 1
Re: -female/+male new
      #94702 - 04/08/04 02:47 PM

Hello,
I posted below (the guy with the website), just registered. I'm sure there are plenty of support groups in NYC. I'd do a search on the web, or better yet, ask your doctor.
As for HIV affecting everyone differently--- ain't that the truth. In 1987 when I tested positive, my prognosis was 2 years. That's because they knew I'd been infected around 1982, and that kids who are infected early have a hard time.
But hey, here I am! I was fortunate to have access to meds in 1999 when I needed them (still on them). Another huge aspect is taking care of yourself, not abusing alcohol (using alcohol is OK) or drugs etc. And stress... staying stress free helps.
The sad thing about many couples like us that keeping the health status of one partner a secret can cause stress. But as we all know, in the real world disclosing can sometimes cause even more stress.
Hope everyone is doing well,
Shawn


Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: -female/+male new
      #94830 - 04/09/04 06:53 PM

Thanks so much for your reply. I'm glad to hear you're doing well!! You're so right about the stress on the other partner. I often contain my fears about HIV/AIDS because I don't want to upset my fiance. I don't want him to think I fear him or his becoming ill. I guess any one of us at any time (scary thought) could come down with a disease. So to reduce my stress, I live in the moment. What I have today. A happy, healthy man whose doing great.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: -female/+male new
      #98545 - 05/11/04 12:57 AM

Dear all
I am in the similar situation, my boyfriend + but myself -. We have been togehter for nearly 5 years and only found out his + last June. We had a realy difficult time to learn how to cope with the news. Actually I am still in huge shock. Because of that, we have not had any sexual touch since last June. Both we want to but we are so worried that he would infect me. I have been keeping reading www.thebody.com for a long time. However, we have not tried to have safe sex practice yet. I really want to have a daughter of his. He also wants to. However...I do love my boyfriend and do not want to leave him because HIV. I am so stressed and sometimes felt so hopeless. The same, I did not tell anyone of my family or friends. Thank you for all your posts. These posts let me know I am not alone.
All the best for dear you.

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: -female/+male new
      #115865 - 11/22/04 02:05 PM

HI-I AM NEG,MY BOYFRIEND IS POSITIVE,I JUST RECENTLY FOUND OUT.I AM CONFUSED,I CAN'T LEAVE HIM,I LOVE HIM.HE'S HELPING ME RAISE MY CHILDREN.PLEASE E-MAIL ME AT SABARE20002000@YAHOO.COM

Post Extras: Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1


What's New at TheBody.com

Additional Information
0 registered and 1 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  TheBody, bogart, crabman, riverprincess 

Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is enabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Thread views: 6469

 
Jump to

Contact Us | Privacy Statement The Body

*
UBB.threads™ 6.2.3

Advertisement