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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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My lover is a hemophiliac
      #903 - 03/31/00 02:51 AM

I have been with my fiancee for over 5 years. He is a
hempophelliac and I never knew. He always lied to me, my family
and our friends as to why he was sick. His brother died about 10
years ago from a "Genetic Liver Disorder" or so that was what
everyone was told. His brother was actually HIV positive and
infected his girlfriend too. His parents refuse to take any
responsiblity for not telling me because he is not a minor. As
far as me or anyone else knew he was "Sick" from this Liver
disorder too. I don't blame him for getting HIV because it wasn't
his fault he recieved bad blood. But it is his fault for not
telling anyone. He was afraid everyone would leave him and he
would be alone. Well now he is. All he has is his family who knew
all along that their son was infected and basically let him give
everyone else a possible Death Sentence. He really doesn't care
that he has possible infected around 30 or more people
intentionally. All he is worried about is himself. All of his
friends have to be tested because of old girlfriends they shared
or whatever. Myself I am being tested today. The only reason I
found out about him being HIV+ was because he was in the hospital
all last week and was diagnoised with Hepetitis D. They thought
he was going to die and still didn't tell me. He tried to keep me
from visiting him during the day which I think is because the
doctors were coming in and out all day and he knew if they knew
he had a fiancee they would insist I be told which is exactly
what happened. He knowingly, malisously and intentionally did
this to me and he can't even say he's sorry. Not that it would
mean much. He claims he feels guilty, I tend to think that he
does but only because he got caught. His family and him think
that I should still be there with him and even tried to push us
into getting married next weekend. Claiming his other brother
will be here for the holidays. Then it was said that they were
afraid I would sue them and I think that is why they are trying
to get me to marry him so I can't sue them. I do love him so I am
torn emotionally but I have to worry about me now. Besides all I
can think about is how can he say he LOVES me when he basically
could be killing me. My family is livid as are all of our
friends. Noone can believe that he or his parents could be so
cold and heartless to care about noone but themselves. If he had
died in the hospital the night they tought he might I still
wouldn't know the truth. And I never would have thought to get
tested, why would I. I really think the hardest thing is the way
he is responding to what he did. He makes comments like He wasn't
my first boyfriend. True he wasn't BUT before him I tested
NEGATIVE for HIV. He admits that if I am infected he is the one
that did it but he really doesn't care. care. I am speaking to a
lawyer to see how to procede. I am seriously considering pressing
criminal charges against him. He even had the nerve to ask me
what I thought my chances were. I am confussed, upset, angry,
livid and so many other things right now it is unbelievable. He
knows better than to call my house because of my family but he
beeps me all day. I have not talked to him for two days now it is
really hard after being with him for so long but I really am at a
loss. if anyone has any answers they would be appreciated.

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your lover has done an unforgivable thing new
      #904 - 03/31/00 02:52 AM

Stay focused girl! Your fiancee has done an unforgivable,
terrible thing. UNFORGIVABLE! Throw away that beeper! If you can
try to get some support from a therapist now! It will be a long
road you'll have to walk down to get over this--but you will. He
did NOT care about you--if he had cared even a bit he would have
at least insisted on wearing a condom when you were together!
Remember the old saying--ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS? It's
true. Don't even listen to his weak defenses for his completely
inexcusable actions. There is no excuse. WALK AWAY! You need to
take care of yourself! Remove yourself completely from his world.
It will hurt and you will be reeling for awhile because it's like
you have been dropped from a high building all of a sudden. It
will take a while to find your balance. Seek solice from your
friends and family. Change your phone number and beeper and
REMOVE yourself from this man. May you find strength and courage!
ALL the best. My thoughts are with you--as I'm sure are the many
people who read your posting!

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You need a new fiancee new
      #908 - 03/31/00 02:53 AM

If this is even half true you need a new fiancee. What a loser
this guys is. I've had HIV for 9 years and it never occured to me
not to tell people I was involved with, right off. Sure it can be
scary with rejection and all, but think of what he has been
saying to you for 5 years. Something like thanks for the sex
baby, now let me [censored] you. I'd press charges, sue and be sure to
forget him. Seriously he sucks

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