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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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micromelodee
Newbie

Reged: 04/29/14
Posts: 2
Looking for support new
      #276103 - 04/29/14 11:49 AM

About 2 years ago my mother was diagnosed with AIDS, that was the summer of 2012. On december 24th I lost my father to a car accident, truck hit him head on. Since then my mother has been on and off on her cocktail, spent a week in the hospital because of this and was adamant about taking care of herself. I'm so afraid to lose her and yet I don't know what to do. I'm still dealing with my father's death, I hadn't talked to him or seen him for about 2 years until he was already laying in the hospital. I've looked for support groups where I live but they are none. . . I guess im just looking for empathy and people who can help me better my mother and better myself and give her the best care that I can provide for her. I'm 22 years old and in university, and sometimes it's hard to stay focused and have the strength to keep on living.

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1738
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Looking for support new
      #276107 - 04/30/14 08:20 AM

My heart definitly goes out to you and your mom. What I sense is that you are both grieving similar things even though it appears to be different stuations.Without knowing has it was between your mom and dad before the accident, and not knowing if your dad was neg or pos , it leads me to believe that your mom is carrying a heavy burden in her heart. Top that with her hubbys death , if issues were left unresolved that can be why she seems to not care about taking her meds at times.
And you are also greiving the loss of your mom , similare to that of your moms. Do you think she would be willing to seek some grief couseling and eventually for you also. Please send me a PM so we can really talk more about this. I am told that I am a very good listener and even have insights to inner things. I want to help you and mom. My prayers will be with you both.

--------------------
Look up to the Heavens for the answers to Lifes questions .

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jamieharris
Newbie

Reged: 06/04/14
Posts: 7
Re: Looking for support new
      #276511 - 06/05/14 10:36 AM

Sorry to hear this. Hope all works out for you. Stay safe. God bless

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anotherday
Moderator

Reged: 05/15/13
Posts: 416
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Re: Looking for support
      #276525 - 06/05/14 10:08 PM

It is a very difficult time when we lose someone we love tragically, and although this might sound blunt and maybe even cold ... there comes a time to move on. In doing this it is important to now refelct and remember the person, the good times. To look around and see what he has left as his legacy ... you being one of those legacies. A time of remembrance and thanks to him for having been a part of your life.

Going forward it is also important to help your mother see this too! Reflect on the good times she had with her husband. Avoid wallowing in the sad and tragic end, but more the enlightenment of the times shared.

Yes it is hard to deal with at times but it will be the strength that both you and your mother can draw upon. To move forward and show her that she is important in your life, that you need her more than ever now and that she needs to care for herself ... to be with you! It's not up to you to "care for her" she needs to take control of her life and start living it to care for you, and be there with you ... to pay tribute to your father and celebrate his life and to celebrate her life and where you are both heading!

HIV/AIDS did not take your mother back in 2012, it easily could have ... but there was a bigger plan in play. She needed to stay around to help both of you get over the events that unfolded with your father. HIV is easy to care for now, meds will keep it at bay, and your mother needs to accept it, move on with it and start living her life with you!

--------------------
anotherday ... in paradise!
daily ponder ... be the reason someone smiles today!

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