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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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lovingdaughter
Newbie

Reged: 02/06/12
Posts: 2
Dad won't start treatment
      #260982 - 02/06/12 11:40 PM

Hi. My dad was recently Dx with AIDS. He and my mom (who is negative) did tell myself and my siblings. We have all been supportive and have let him know that we are always there for him. He is very depressed and was supposed to start treatment 2 weeks ago and declined treatment. I am worried he is giving up and don't know what to do to help. I love him so much and he is so progressed that the docs say he only has a year at most if he doesn't start treatment. I know it is his choice, but am so so broken hearted. What more can we be doing as his family to help him?

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AIDS2HIV
Legend

Reged: 12/19/05
Posts: 2200
Re: Dad won't start treatment new
      #260986 - 02/07/12 12:51 AM

all you can do is tell him how you honestly feel about the way he treating this....

its normal for depression, hopelessness, dispair etc to be there upon learnng of diagnosis, but most work past it in time. I'd suggest you ask him, how he'd accept it if these shoes were on your feet, and your were taking the same steps he is in them...how would he as a dad feel that his daughter is making such a selfish choice. Truth hurts, but it also has healing power...

be cautious of the stock you put into a Dr's prediction.... when i was diagnosed, it was because i was already in the latest stages and slipped into the coma that most dont survive. and like most, Drs gave up all hope & efforts on me, sending me home to my family to be comfy until i died, I wasnt expected to last long at all.....however 4 mos i layed in that coma, and miraculously i came out of it.... that was 7 years ago. at the end of may, they said i wouldnt walk again until xmas of that year....however, july 1st i took my firdst steps again on my own.... leading by example does more good than credited for....so dont give up on him, until he follows suit and doesnt give up on himself. Good luck & god bless. If you ned to talk feel free to do so

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1659
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Dad won't start treatment new
      #261055 - 02/08/12 04:29 PM

Why doesn't everyone write Dad a letter expressing your love for him and why you want him to start treatment. You all may of alreaky verablized it to him but to have letters in his hand , something that he can and needs to read over and over again, like an intervention. Please stay in touch with me If you want me to call and talk to him I will. But I strongly urge you to all write the letters to him. Read them to him as a group or just give them to him and let him be to read. them. My prayers to your dad and the rest of family. .

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lovingdaughter
Newbie

Reged: 02/06/12
Posts: 2
Re: Dad won't start treatment new
      #261061 - 02/08/12 11:19 PM

Hi,
Thank you both for your responses. We did a little of both, wrote letters and were open and honest and let him see how much we were hurting. Not sure if that did it or if he just needed time to process everything (understandable), but he decided to begin treatment! I know this is only one of many hurdles and challenges, but hopefully we can face them together with him for many years to come. Thank you again...

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AIDS2HIV
Legend

Reged: 12/19/05
Posts: 2200
Re: Dad won't start treatment new
      #261066 - 02/09/12 08:13 AM

Quote:

Hi,
Thank you both for your responses. We did a little of both, wrote letters and were open and honest and let him see how much we were hurting. Not sure if that did it or if he just needed time to process everything (understandable), but he decided to begin treatment! I know this is only one of many hurdles and challenges, but hopefully we can face them together with him for many years to come. Thank you again...




this is great news!!! please invite your dad to join us here too, it's an excellent resource for both him & you. So happy for you...

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Thinking about meeting someone from this site? Read my profile before you do.

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1659
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Dad won't start treatment new
      #261127 - 02/12/12 07:02 PM

I'm sooo glad your dad has taken that step. And in time he'll see the meds are fine as well as the diagnosis. I have a feeling it's more than just that that is bothering him but hey we all make mistakes. That is why Christ died on the cross for us. Keep showing him un-conditional love . Love heals all wounds. Meds will fix the rest.

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