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Reged: 04/04/11
Posts: 3
Loc: Texas
It's not the end of the world always
      #255112 - 04/04/11 08:57 PM

I was only 19 and facing the biggest life changing sentence ever spoken to me “Your test came back positive for HIV, I am sorry” There is nothing else I have encountered that is so unsettling. Not only do you think you are going to live a shortened life, you also fear looking like a holocaust victim before you end up dying. I just wanted to know who gave me HIV and why god let this happen. After knowingly living with it I have come to realize I still have control of my life and I can still be who I was before. The only change I made was doctor visits. Honestly its not the physical obstacles that make it so difficult but more of the internal fight within yourself. Dating, sex, family, friends and financial bourdons all make this so much more of a tough situation. I only wish people wouldn’t look at HIV as being something you can acquire so easy, safe sex has proven to be effective so what is the underlying issue? People view it as something repulsive, and as if I chose this for myself. No one mentally sane chooses to be a victim of HIV; it’s like putting your life on probation for the rest of your life. Now you have 4 to 6 month check ups to see if you are staying healthy and if you are far enough away from the danger zone called AIDS. You must take pills daily, and also you must have that horrifying talk you need to have with anyone you choose to sleep with. Who would choose that lifestyle? Telling someone you are positive makes you more than vulnerable; it’s putting you in a position to be judged harshly, and also to be the talk of the town if anyone you disclosed to decides to tell someone else you are HIV positive. It’s close to impossible to live a normal life, especially if you are single. This is probably why most people choose not to tell you they are positive. Just hope and prey next time you have a one-night stand that they are courteous enough to use a condom with you. No wonder this virus is becoming a bigger epidemic everyday. If you become positive, be ready to under go the biggest emotional crisis of your life, the brakes don’t work on this roller coaster. After being told you’re positive, you can almost handle anything else life throws at you. You learn to appreciate what you have and what you did have so much more.

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Reged: 12/30/10
Posts: 66
Loc: Indiana
Re: It's not the end of the world always new
      #255256 - 04/14/11 07:07 AM

Thank you for sharing. Your words do make one think. I am a single woman and my biggest fear of all is dating.

I hope you are doing well

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