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worriedmom
Newbie

Reged: 03/22/11
Posts: 5
My son tested positive
      #254924 - 03/22/11 04:37 PM

Hi everyone,
My son tested positive for HIV yesterday. Needless to say, I am terrified and have been on the internet to learn everything I can so I can learn how to help him live with this disease. Does anyone have any advice about helping my son and the rest of my family to deal with this? Any help you can offer me will be greatly appreciated.

Edited by worriedmom (03/22/11 06:04 PM)

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Starboy
Regular

Reged: 12/09/04
Posts: 42
Loc: New York
Re: My son tested poitive new
      #254925 - 03/22/11 04:51 PM

Hi and welcome to the body. Review the posts and hopefully you can bring some calm to your situation. Remember time heals and if he gets a good HIV Doctor he will survive. I put so much faith in mine. He has shown me how to live and cope just as others with our condition.

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worriedmom
Newbie

Reged: 03/22/11
Posts: 5
Re: My son tested poitive new
      #254926 - 03/22/11 05:06 PM

Thank you. I don't even know where to begin looking for an HIV doctor. Do you have any suggestions on how to find one?

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LostNconfused
Fanatic

Reged: 12/29/10
Posts: 66
Loc: Indiana
Re: My son tested poitive new
      #254927 - 03/22/11 05:07 PM

Sorry to hear about your son's diagnosis but so happy that he has a loving mother! Your support will help him tremendously! You have come to a good place. Read, ask questions and you can even vent here.

I hope he was referred to an HIV clinic. There he will get medical help/advice and even a social worker to talk to. He will need some tests done also. HIV is not what it was in the 80's or even 90's and it IS a manageable disease. I wish the best for you and your son

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worriedmom
Newbie

Reged: 03/22/11
Posts: 5
Re: My son tested poitive new
      #254928 - 03/22/11 05:23 PM

Thank you for your kind words. He was not referred to an HIV clinic and was told that he needn't worry about medication until his Tcell count drops way down. I am doing my best to lead him in the right direction with the right medical care and information. I just want to make sure that he starts taking care of himself immediately.

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LostNconfused
Fanatic

Reged: 12/29/10
Posts: 66
Loc: Indiana
Re: My son tested poitive new
      #254929 - 03/22/11 05:37 PM

Yes he will need tests done to see what his numbers are. I was tested through the health dept here and they referred me to a clinic whom contacted me within a wk and I had an appt 6 wks later. I think they will be my Godsend.
I would try to google in your area for an HIV clinic/doctor. He will need that.
As far as taking care of himself, keep the immune system strong. Eat healthy, excercise, be careful of other illnesses, keep stress to a minimum, etc. I know its easier said then done, but the first step is finding an HIV doctor.

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worriedmom
Newbie

Reged: 03/22/11
Posts: 5
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254930 - 03/22/11 06:04 PM

He was tested through the County Health Department, but they offered no resources or information. It is very disappointing. I found a couple of HIV clinics, but it looks like he may have to drive a ways to get there. I guess there is nothing about HIV that is convenient. It doesn't matter, though. Keeping him in good health is worth the drive. I'm glad that you have found good medical care and I hope that you keep yourself in good health.

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LostNconfused
Fanatic

Reged: 12/29/10
Posts: 66
Loc: Indiana
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254933 - 03/22/11 07:58 PM

Thank you so much! I have a lot to work on.

How sad that the Health dept did not offer any information. I would be more lost than I already am without help and luckily I'm very close to a clinic. I think I'm going to be looking into a support group though.

I honestly wish the best for your son and he is lucky to have you. I hope he knows that. I will keep you both in my thoughts

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worriedmom
Newbie

Reged: 03/22/11
Posts: 5
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254939 - 03/23/11 11:14 AM

Thank you for all of your kind words. I believe that survival has a lot to do with having the right support. Nobody can make it through this alone. I hope that you have that. If not, please know that you have my support. I wish you the best.

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LostNconfused
Fanatic

Reged: 12/29/10
Posts: 66
Loc: Indiana
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254948 - 03/23/11 07:23 PM

thank you again! Support is definately an important part. I have only disclosed to my adult children and it will probably always remain that way. My mother and I aren't very close and I've always been the black sheep so she would be really quick to judge or just feel that I'm dying soon and I just don't need that. But my kids are my world and they are who matter. It was not easy for them at first but I didn't give them the credit they deserved as they were more educated than me when it came to HIV. They just want me to take care of myself

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vkf249
Newbie

Reged: 03/24/11
Posts: 1
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254954 - 03/24/11 02:23 PM

I was in a similiar situation years ago with a client when she received a diagnosis of AIDS, Because her family did not know anything about HIV/AIDS, many were scared to be near her. What we did was to bring in as many family members (probably about 20) and we did an AIDS 101 to help them understand about HIV. This session helped many of the family to become a support system to her. Thought I would share this approach with you. All the best to you and your son......

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decade2
Newbie

Reged: 03/24/11
Posts: 1
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254956 - 03/24/11 03:44 PM

Finding a doctor who specializes in HIV depends on where you are.... AHF is a great resource. Even if the doctors don't think he needs to start meds right away, it is important to connect with a specialist -- there are lots of issues that will come up and he needs a trusted medical contact. He's going to have to adjust to this, and he will be scared - -but try to reassure him (and yourself) -- this is not fatal, may not even have any discernable affect on his health - -but he must be safe and stay in contact with his doctor. If/when he starts meds, he has to be sure to adhere to the regimen. For me, the worst part was the ostracism that came from the gay world - -when you tell a prospective partner that you are positive, you are likely to be rejected. Your son needs to understand that risky behavior is no longer just dangerous to him, but to his partners. This will be hard on him, and he'll need a support structure - -which may be a group of other positive guys (we have "Being Alive" and APLA here in LA), and he needs to learn who his true friends are and engage them. Much of this he may not be comfortable discussing with you -- another reason he needs to find a peer-support group and a trusted medical specialist, and possibly a counsellor/therapist. He is VERY lucky to have you there for him -- and you should be proud that he has confided in you.

Edited by decade2 (03/24/11 03:49 PM)

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DJones
All Star

Reged: 04/02/09
Posts: 84
Loc: Milwaukee Wisconsin
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254957 - 03/24/11 04:39 PM

I had tears in my eyes reading your post. They were actually happy tears to hear from such a caring mother such as you. I found out a little over two years ago I had AIDS. Not just HIV but AIDS. You have no idea how this diagnosis takes your mind and body for a loop. Your son will need all the love and help you can give him. I am so proud of you taking it apon yourself to learn all you can and help him. I wish more mothers or family members of HIV had family like you. Support is so important because your son will be going through so much physically and mentally. I called my diagnosis the 'Biggest Mind F@ck' I have ever had to deal with in my life. I started a blog the day I found out I was HIV+ and a week later that I actually had AIDS (TCell count of 106). You can go to it at the link below. You can go back to my first post on January 2009 and forward. I am very honest and direct with what this disease has done to me physically and mentally. It is not easy, but your son is so lucky to have you. You deserve a high five.
If you ever want to write me with questions after checking out my blog please feel free. I will answer anything you ask.
Stay strong for him and you.
WOW, what a great mom you are.
Dave

--------------------
http://daveslifelivingwithhiv.blogspot.com/

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Brian360
Member

Reged: 07/24/08
Posts: 12
Loc: Vancouver, Wa
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254960 - 03/24/11 05:45 PM

First of all..your son is going to be just fine! People have been living long lives with HIV so as long as he ADHERES to the medication prescribed he should have few medical issues in the long term.

Secondly, you both should be aware that having HIV is synonymous with a battle being held in the body. Keeping his CD4 high and his Viral Load low against a tricky foe with the ability to mutate and play dirty is the key.

Everyone will suffer some emotional distress and there's no really to soften the blow on that. You being proactive on his part (like what you are doing on here) is like being a solid rock to him and again you'll be the foundation for many things he's going to come across. Be understanding...even if you don't understand yourself.

Find a good specialist in your area. He or She will know what course of treatment he needs to follow when he comes it medically.

I wish you, your family and your son all the best!

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PozPal
Newbie

Reged: 03/25/11
Posts: 3
Loc: New York
Re: My son tested positive new
      #254964 - 03/25/11 01:54 PM

Congratulations on finding this website! And your son is so lucky to have you as his Mom. Though I was older when diagnosed, I thought that my life was essentially over. But over the years, and with the help of support groups, I have met many others like myself. Many of them are long term survivors of the early days of AIDS when people were given a death sentence. Fortunately for "newbies", a lot of progress has been made in the area of treatment. I am healthy, in good shape, able to work, have a loving relationship with another poz man and am doing my best to make a difference in my part of the world. As long as your son takes care of himself and has access to good medical care, he should have a long and productive life. The medical world knows more about HIV than ever before. Many of the new drugs are highly effective with fewer side effects than the first ones developed. And there are always new drugs coming on the market. By the way, I have also found that my family, friends and faith have helped me develop and maintain a good outlook and think about the future. I hope that you are in an area where your son can get good care, both physically and psychologically. This website holds a wealth of information and I refer to it frequently any time I have a question. I am on the e-mail list to receive news from thebody.com and always find something valuable either for myself or for friends. You might also want to check out poz.com. They publish a free magazine with a lot of good articles. It is often available in counseling centers and clinics. Poz can also be viewed online. Wishing you and your son all the best. It will get better after the initial shock is over. Trust me...I know....Been there.....done it all. And life is good.

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