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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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Anonymous
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Daughter of an AIDS victim
      #25418 - 12/09/01 11:10 PM

As a daughter of an aids victim....It makes me frustrated to find that those who already know they have aids go out and have sex and infect other with it and don't seem to acknowledge that they need to change their habits. I have to watch my mother suffer and wait and wonder if the next drug they come out with will be "the right one". Will it work? what side-effects come with it? is it safe? Teens and all others who have sex without protection are stupid, SELFISH, AND JACKASSES! Please I feel like I'm yelling into a pillow. If just one person reads this and it makes a difference, I know I've made some progress. I'm 14 years old but I believe that I have alot more sense then most of those older than I.



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Anonymous
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Re: Daughter of an AIDS victim new
      #25427 - 12/10/01 11:05 AM

You can yell all you want. But it's more complicated then you can imagine. Lots of people who get infected are in long relationships and their partner cheats. Lots of kids are just really lonely and do stupid things with older people who do not allow them to use protection. Lots of girls are bossed around by boys and feel like they have no choice about using protection! Lots and lots of stuff like that. So have some compassion! Do you floss your teeth after eating (which is proven to reduce cavities. Do you exercise three times a week for 20 minutes (proven to keep you healthy). Do you eat lots of fresh vegetables and salads and stay away from processed foods and sweets? Are you doing the best YOU can to stay healthy???? Probably not. So have some understanding for other people!



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Anonymous
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Re: Daughter of an AIDS victim new
      #25755 - 12/19/01 05:24 PM

I don't think that was her point. I think she was trying to say, that HIV, unlike eating right, has some very very serious consequences for everyone involved. Not eating right might get you heart disease, but you have lots of options...with HIV there are few. She was trying to say that with HIV being so terrible, you would think people would take better care and would disclose, and I agree.



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Anonymous
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Re: Daughter of an AIDS victim new
      #28491 - 02/18/02 01:09 PM

I can understand how frustrated you feel. My husband has AIDS and even though his current drug regimine is working I know it won't work forever, I wish everyday for a cure.
But . . . It is not only up to the person with AIDS to protect others. Each person has to take responsibility for their own actions. I'm lucky, my husband has been infected for a long time, he never knew about it and I never contracted the disease, but now that we do know I am just as responsible for using a condom as he is. Just because you drive safely doesn't mean you should wear your seatbelt, you never know when there will be a maniac out there speeding.
It's healthy to vent your frustrations, and a message board such as this is a good place to do so. I would like to make one suggestion though. Instead of thinking of your mom as a "victim" of AIDS, work on changing your picture of her to a "fighter" against AIDS, it's much more empowering that way. When I picture a "victim suffering" it's a weak bed-ridden figure, who is simply waiting for the end to come. And that is not an accurate picture of my husband or any of the other people I know with AIDS, or their families. They are FIGHTERS! We, as family members, are fighters! We fight the disease, the spread of it and the stigmatism attached to it. I picture an Army of people (all colors, ages, genders and sexual orientations), pills and condoms attacking the HIV virus and beating it into submission, and standing on the steps of City Hall, giving thanks to those who have died in battle and celebrating victory. Because that is the only way I can bear to get through the day . . .
Best of luck to you and your mom.



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