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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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amorie223
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Reged: 08/01/10
Posts: 62
I am so hurt. how can i let go this feeling?
      #251564 - 08/08/10 07:43 AM

hello to everyone.

i am not 100 percent my that my ex is positive, but for what i was told by a physician that saw him she told me that i need it to get tested for hiv asap because i was exposed. she mention to me he had his result and they were waiting for a confirmatory result to come back.

last time i spoke with him he told me a bunch of lies hes usual, and i notice he was well informed about the hiv med and so n so. i have tested neg by the rapid and a futher test that was sent to the lab both neg i have to test back at 3 months.

Now heres the thing im a bit calm about my situation but i cant help not to think if he has it or not .. to me for what this lady told me although she didn't say hes pos or neg but by her saying they waiting for a confirmatory result and that he knew his first result when he told me he didn't know yet. makes me think he has it . i have my ups and down i get very depress and i cry in silent because i don't want my children seen me suffering.. today since my kids went on vac am going to have the time to cry all out but is that going to help or change how am feeling.?

i wonder if he showed up and tell me he is positive maybe i will feel better but i haven't not heard from him at all i cant rich him he dont answer my calls he don't even call to check on our baby am so devastated i love this guy to death. no matter if hes pos i would still be with him because his my life. i feel lost without him i miss him so much. at nite i hold my pillow so hard because i wish him to be next to him.. i don't care i will take care him

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amorie223
Fanatic

Reged: 08/01/10
Posts: 62
Re: I am so hurt. how can i let go this feeling? new
      #251566 - 08/08/10 07:54 AM

i just don't know what to do, i feel like am getting deeper n deeper in a depression i think he is positive but when i look at his picture i can't see him with that. what am i gonna do if could anyone will tell me his status. should i call the lady and ask her? but shes not going to reveal his status. i think is not fear!!! no one love this guy like i do its not fear that im going through this pain by my self..would i ever recoup from this or this is something i will have to dealt for the rest of my life? i text him i told him i don't care i can still be with him we are engage have a child a 18 mo old baby girl that i just sent away because am not emotionally stable right now i feel am going down a hill. i just need some comfort some one i can talk w/o judgment me.pls and thank you for taking the time to read my pain..

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