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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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jayne
Newbie

Reged: 03/28/08
Posts: 5
I have just found out my husband is HIV +
      #238083 - 03/28/08 06:32 AM

Last Tuesday My husband was taken into hospital with pneumonia. They couldn't get his temperature down...so changed antibioctics...his lung was drained twice...(pleural effusion), he had lost so much weight almost overnight. They tested him for hiv on Wednesday...he is positive and they said he has aids. I have just had my test and I'm waiting for my results...I am lost and any help advice would be most appreciated

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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238093 - 03/28/08 11:08 AM

Hello Jayne-

I am sorry to hear about the chaos that's going on in your life. You are probably going through a world wind of emotions right now, and THAT IS NORMAL.

Please know that we are here if you have questions that you don't feel like researching the answers for, if you're feeling down and just need to share with those who understand, or if you just need to vent and find a safe place to curse your husband (we can take it better than him right now).

I'd strongly encourage you NOT to handle this alone. Seek counsel from your doctors and others who may give you WISE advice. If at all possible, TRY NOT TO DO ANYTHING RASH OR IMPULSIVE.

Please know that we're here if you need us.

Wishing you all the best,
-Gary


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vasco
Regular

Reged: 02/22/08
Posts: 47
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238094 - 03/28/08 11:26 AM

Jeyne! am really sorry for the news! it has happen to me as well and i still scared because my wife is hiv positive as well and just find out when she got pregnant. after several test my result is negative...well my 6weeks daughter is negative on the first test and today we went for her second test but i will get the result in 3 or 6 months...I was sick every time after the news i had all hiv sintoms everythings i read 5 minutes later i had the same sintoms!
Tke care. i wish you good luck on ur result.

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Bear60
Legend

Reged: 12/21/05
Posts: 1390
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238131 - 03/30/08 02:43 PM

Hi Jayne
I was the caregiver for my former partner who died of AIDS in 1995 and my current life partner has AIDS. I have been taking care of people with AIDS for 20 years. So, I can tell you with absolute certainty:
1. Take care of yourself. If you arent taking care of yourself you will be of no use to your husband/family.
2. Get counseling or support group help
3 Become educated about the subject...HIV..... and be able to converse with doctors about your husbands condition. Make them talk to you if necessary.
4. I get a massage and acupuncture monthly. It helps keep my body centered. I would recommend meditation but I have not used it myself.
Good luck.
Tell us more about yourself.

--------------------
6 ft tall poz bear in Philadelphia

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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238155 - 03/31/08 01:35 PM

Jayne,I'm so sorry about this situation,and I know how hard the waiting can be.The best advice I can give you is to relax,making yourself crazy while you wait won't change the result of the test.I know that's easier said than done but try to do things for yourself that help you feel calm.Warm bath,soft music,good book,like Bear said a massage whatever.Write more anytime you need to vent or want some "company"and don't forget to let us know the test results.
How's your husband doing now?
Peace
Terry

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Monchhichi
Guru

Reged: 02/07/05
Posts: 248
Loc: Florida
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238226 - 04/03/08 04:03 AM

Jayne, have you gotten your results back yet? They should have been able to do a rapid (immediate test result) on you. I just told Vasco who I believe is right below me on this post that I am here if you have any questions. Please click on my name here and read through my past posts. You may find a lot of the answers you are looking for. Any questions feel free to PM me. Quick background on me...I am negative, my husband is positive. We have been together almost 11 years. I will check back on this to see how your results went. Thinking good thoughts only for you right now.

--------------------
Never forget: Life is too precious to take for granted.


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jayne
Newbie

Reged: 03/28/08
Posts: 5
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238227 - 04/03/08 07:30 AM

Hi and thank you for your reply. I am negative, I can't quite believe it after 25 years married and 4 kids. I was more relieved for them and my husband I don't think I could have coped if we both were. He is going into a special hiv place today...so I will get more information hopefully then. I have so many questions, how do I care for him etc...is he starting treatment too late...He is getting over the PCP it seems, he now has 2 stapphs and candida (MRSA and epidermis) his seborrheic demititis is quite bad just now and we are waiting for results back from 'morbid anatomy' (not sure if that's the right term. How do you cope? Any advise would be appreciated
Thanks again
Jayne

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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238229 - 04/03/08 08:50 AM

Jayne, I am so glad to hear about your test results being negative. You are a good woman, keep taking care of that man.. HUGS.. D

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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238230 - 04/03/08 09:41 AM

Great news Jayne!

Two ways you can help your husband is to keep loving and accepting him. They are the two things I needed most from my wife and she could not (or would not) give. There is no Rx for that.

Best of luck,
Gary

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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238235 - 04/03/08 03:03 PM

Good news for your and the kids Jayne and I'm sure it puts his mind at ease too.I'm sure when you talk to the Drs today you'll have some answers to your questions,of course the more you know the more you find out you don't know so there will be more questions.It seems that we are learning more every day about this disease so there's always more to learn.
Hugs and prayers for you and your family
Terry

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TheConversation
Newbie

Reged: 03/09/08
Posts: 7
Loc: Austin, TX, USA
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238352 - 04/09/08 01:48 AM

Jayne;
I have found some great websites that provide support and information, and one of them www.PozIAm.com is about to start having online support groups. I hope this helps you find some support. Blessings to you of peace to still your mind, strength to face whatever lies ahead, and love to guide your path.

--------------------
Thank you for becoming part of "The Conversation",

Sebastian St.Troy
www.theHIVconversation.com

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wife_of_DL
Newbie

Reged: 04/13/08
Posts: 1
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238465 - 04/13/08 06:17 PM

Jayne -

You and I have parallel lives. My husband went to the hospital on March 10 with what turned out to be PCP. He refused HIV testing at the hospital until the day they released him. I didn't find out he was HIV pos until 4/2. I was tested the next day. Thank G-d I am negative, but I will have to be retested in 3 months.

This site is a blessing. There is so much information, and it is so understandable. Stay positive, in spriit, that is. I am trying. It is hard. My husband is still weak from his illness. He is also depressed. I can't write anymore right now. This is too difficult for me.

Get counseling. Get good medical attention. There is a whole AIDS universe out there.



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Sandi
Newbie

Reged: 04/18/08
Posts: 1
Loc: New Mexico
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238578 - 04/18/08 01:29 PM

I am new to all of this too. I recently found out my husband of 17 years is positive (feb 08). We found out similar to how others on this site have, he was hospitalized with pnuemonia. It is scary at first, you remember hearing about AIDS but as so often people do, they take the attitude that it will not happen to me. I have tested negative. I love my husband very much and we have had trials in our lives before and I believe that they are helping us to get through this one as well. My limited advice is to stay strong, he is going to need you to be his rock and voice of reason. Find a good friend that you can share with and will not judge. Cry when you need to. My prayers are with you.

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Choosing2Liv
Legend

Reged: 03/21/06
Posts: 581
Loc: South
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238698 - 04/22/08 02:52 PM

Quote:

I love my husband very much and we have had trials in our lives before and I believe that they are helping us to get through this one as well. My limited advice is to stay strong, he is going to need you to be his rock and voice of reason.




Sandi,
Ladies like you are restoring my faith in women. Your husband is lucky to have such a caring and devoted wife. I wish you and him all the best.

Warmest regards,
Gary

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pharmstudent
Newbie

Reged: 04/22/08
Posts: 3
Re: I have just found out my husband is HIV + new
      #238717 - 04/22/08 10:50 PM

I know how anxious you are waiting for the test result and one thing i would say to try and take your mind off things. look for information on HIV/aids. I think that it help when you know what it means to leave with the disease and that it's not a death sentence. Just because your husband is positive doesn't mean you'll test positive too.

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