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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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amyinstead
Newbie

Reged: 12/04/07
Posts: 1
Loc: WA
I need help.
      #234178 - 12/05/07 12:53 PM

I am in desperate need of advice. My oldest brother is HIV+. He has always been a nervous, high strung kind of person verging on need of mental health help. He most likely contracted HIV from his partner, who has recently passed away(but they were not together for 4 years at that point). After he and his partner split up he went through a period when he was smoking crack cocaine. He moved closer to our family to quit smoking cocaine, but he continued to drink malt liquor heavily, when he was alone or with people, when he was at work or in the car. He met a new guy through a friend and of course they hit it off right away, the thing is the new guy has a partner that he lives and works with. Well, they got along so good that they got a house together and got my brother a good job where they work. Now comes in the problem. My brother has not gone to see a doctor in a long time, probably years. Unfortunately, he lies to us a lot, so we don't really know when he last went. Recently he has been coughing a lot, all night while he sleeps, my mom talked to him about his cough, and he told my mom that he felt he now has AIDS and thrush, then showed her he has sores on his stomach and legs. We don't know if it is staph or ks. I know that the new guy knows he's positive, but I don't know if his partner knows. He says that he does not want to start meds because he would have to stop drinking, which he is not prepared to do. I just don't know what to do. We have another sibling who is suffering from brain cancer. We are probably going to lose him. I can't bear the thought of losing my brothers. Here I have one brother who would do anything to live, and one who would rather die from HIV just so his new guy would think, "Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't throw over my partner of many years for him! Woe is me!". Please help me, anyone, I am at a loss at what to do? Do I have an intervention? Do I call the new guy and tell him my fears? Any help would be so greatly appreciated.
xox
amyinstead

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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: I need help. new
      #234184 - 12/05/07 05:24 PM

Amy I don't have any answers for you I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers
Terry

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Robert1
All Star

Reged: 05/29/07
Posts: 96
Re: I need help. new
      #234217 - 12/05/07 11:14 PM

Hi Amy:

What a handful for you! Your brother is doomed if he doesn't get hiv treatment. Can you bring him to a doctor? Or call a local aids organization and meet with someone? Can you get him into mental health help? Or go to AA meetings with him. He needs to understand that he will die without treatment.

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