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clairedh
Newbie

Reged: 10/11/07
Posts: 2
We are using a sperm donor to have a baby
      #232243 - 10/11/07 01:20 AM

My husband is positive and I am negative. We have been married for 6 years. We have finally decided to use a sperm donor to have a baby. Is there anyone else out there in a similar situation? I am not sure how to explain to our family members about using a sperm donor, and how to explain to our future child....I need to hear your experiences!

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oldwoman
Guardian

Reged: 05/12/07
Posts: 435
Loc: Phila,Pa
Re: We are using a sperm donor to have a baby new
      #232249 - 10/11/07 08:56 AM

I have no experience in this but was wondering,why do you have to tell your family members about this?
Best wishes,a baby is truly a blessing.

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: We are using a sperm donor to have a baby new
      #232259 - 10/11/07 12:15 PM

Claire,

Not knowing what country you are in, I really don’t know what options are open to you (or financially viable) .. but have you explored other options that would allow you to have a baby which shares your husband’s genes?

HIV i-Base has an excellent guide on HIV, pregnancy & women's health and it may be worth having a look at.

Here in the UK, thousands of negative women are routinely and very safely giving birth to children that are genetically those of their positive husbands .. and the guide explains how.

I am only asking because it may provide you with options that could alleviate some of the problems of what must be a very stressful situation for you.

Mark

http://i-base.info/guides/index.html

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clairedh
Newbie

Reged: 10/11/07
Posts: 2
Re: We are using a sperm donor to have a baby new
      #232266 - 10/11/07 02:46 PM

Thanks for your well wishes! We feel it will be important to tell our family because everyone knows about his HIV status, and knows that we have been exploring baby options for 5 years now. When we finally announce we are pregnant, we don't want to offer many personal details about how we got pregnant, but I still feel there will be questions and speculations. Additionally, we will be open with our child about this process so I want to make sure that our child doesn't feel like he/she has to keep this "secret" from family.

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Florida69
Legend

Reged: 02/19/07
Posts: 541
Re: We are using a sperm donor to have a baby new
      #232271 - 10/11/07 03:09 PM

How about sperm washing? I don't know the cost, but that does exist. D

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vokz
Grand Master

Reged: 09/06/07
Posts: 164
Loc: London, UK
Re: We are using a sperm donor to have a baby new
      #232292 - 10/12/07 04:14 AM

Yeah, that is pretty much what I am thinking, Florida; but availability varies greatly from country to country.

Here in the UK, sperm washing (with IUI or IVF) is routine and universally available free of charge to all married serodiscordant couples – but in the United States it can be difficult to find a fertility clinic willing to undertake it at any price (despite the procedure having a 100% safety record).


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Robert1
All Star

Reged: 05/29/07
Posts: 96
Re: We are using a sperm donor to have a baby new
      #232661 - 10/18/07 02:25 PM

A couple of questions. Why use a donor? Take a look at this study below. IIt was on the body a few months ago. It was very interesting.

f your husband is undetectable and you monitor your ovulation then the chances of you getting HIV are almost nil. In Europe that's what they have been doing. ANd if you are worried then don't have intercourse but use a turkey baster--again only during the two days a month of ovulation.

Here's the study
http://www.thebody.com/content/art42636.html

They also featured this recently
http://www.thebody.com/hivmonth/thismonth0707.html

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