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My sister is HIV+ and has shingles
#206030 - 09/04/06 03:41 PM
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I was just wondering if anyone had experience with HIV and shingles. She's been fighting the shingles now for about 5 months and they'll just start to go away and then come back again. She was very thin for a while, but looked really good and had gained about 20 pounds when I saw her at my grandfather's funeral. I love her so much but I am so scared the stress of not telling her children (my niece is 11 and nephew is 4) nor anyone else except her husband, myself and our parents is eating her up. She doesn't want to risk other's finding out and her family being shunned by the community. I live in Florida and she is Washington State and wish there was some way I could help her and the family. I found local organizations, but she refuses to contact them. I just pray a lot and leave messages on her phone that I love her, am thinking of her and am here for her. She has been distant for several years now, even though she just finally admitted to being positive. She says she does not want to make HIV her life, but I know how stressed she is and it it scares me. She is also worried my 4 yr old nephew is HIV positive; wouldn't that show up right away? I feel like the stress may end her life prematurely. Any advice on any of this would be appreciated. Also, where can my parents turn for help/counseling/education if she doesn't want anyone to know. This is taking quite a toll on their life as well. Thank you.
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Your nephew can be tested. For babies born to HIV+ mothers, it takes a bit longer for a test to be accurate. But by 4 years, there would be no doubt about the test.
Shingles are miserable, but I've never heard of anyone postive or negativer suffering from them for this long. She might want to think about a second opinion about what is happening.
There is no reason why your parents can't go to counseling. To steal from Las Vegas....what is said in counseling stays in counseling, so there won't be any fall out about telling anyone.
Good luck to you.
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HI there, your parents should go for counseling if they do not already know what to expect of this illness. The purpose for counseling is to know more about the isue and be open minded as well as to be aware of what to expect. Your parents, in return could give more support to your sister. Once support is given to your sister ( especially from those she has told to - also means the poeple she trusts ), she will gain much confidence and emotional stability and security. This sort of support lightens up your sister. She neednt to feel that she is hiding from them. She could be opened to your parents, you and her husband.
I, personally had a lot of support from my mom when I told her of my illness. All my sisters know about it too..Not all my friends know about my case, even after 7 yrs. In my opinion, one tells to those who can give support back to that person , the rest, they dont need to know ( yet ), until when one is stable and or feel like telling for some other reasons, like HIV prevention.
Give lots of support to your sister. She needs it. SOmetimes, she doesnt need pity but just support alone will do. Be sensitive over her feelings. Good luck.
Seek second opinion on the shingles.
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Thank you so much for the help and advice. You have no idea how much it is appreciated. I talked to her today and she finally went to her first group session (albeit 3 hrs away), but it is step. Thank you.
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Your response was such a huge help. I promise I will be there for her...and I understand it is like what you said...not just sympathy, but being there for her. I am going to get her a computer and internet connection so that she can get connected and possibly search for more help and answers. We are so far disconnected (her in WA and me in FL) I want to connect things to her fingertips instead of me just relaying it to her. Or do you think that would be too much. I appreciate your response more than you know. Thank you.
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You can also have her connect with other positive women by phone: She just has to call to talk to people. Many of the women who answer the phones are positive themselves. They have retreats and get togethers that people from different parts of the country come from.
Women Alive (Los Angeles)
The country's largest organization helping HIV-positive women. Support, education and advocacy services, social activities, peer counseling (both one-on-one and group), HIV treatment information, leadership-training programs and a drop-in center in Los Angeles. hotline: 800-554-4876
ALSO
Women Organized to Respond to Life-Threatening Diseases (Oakland)
Features support groups and yearly retreats for HIV-positive women.
510-986-0340
WASHINGTON
BABES Network (Seattle)
A community network offering regular support groups for HIV-positive women. Other services offered: peer counseling, advocacy and advocacy training, treatment education, a monthly English/Spanish newsletter, frequent events and retreats.
888-292-1912
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I can't help with the HIV but if you go to thatgreenstuff.com a salve there works like magic on shingles. Hope that helps.
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