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Best friend just found out HIV positive
      #200764 - 07/20/06 06:12 PM

Yesterday was an extremely overwhelming day for me. My bestfriend of over 10 years just found out he is HIV positive. We believe he contracted it from his partner who we knew was positive. My bestfriend swore that they were careful and always used protection, but that leaves me wondering why did this happen then? Why put yourself in a situation such as this? I have been crying on and off since yesterday and am left with the feeling of a broken heart. This person is so dear to me, like the brother I never had, yet he has this horrible disease infecting his body. The most things that worry me....he smokes, drinks, and has no insurance for doctor visits or medication. Without the right help how can he control what is happening inside his body? On top of that, he was infected with hepatitis about 6 months ago (has been cleared since then), he has herpes, and possibly syphillis. All of this can not be good for his body. I just don't know what to do to help him and comfort him as well as myself. Any suggestions????

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Re: Best friend just found out HIV positive new
      #200797 - 07/20/06 10:11 PM

It's great that you care about your friend as much as you do, but don't allow this to become about you and how you feel. Your feelings are valid, but right now, they take the backseat.

Your question of why would someone put themselves in this position is judgemental and not the attitude that will help your friend. With HIV it's best never to look back, just look forward.

So with that in mind. Be practical. Give your friend information about your local Aids Service Organization and encourage him to go see them. They are a weatlh of help. The concrete kind such as help with housing, bills, health care, etc. and many of them run support groups that could be helpful. Find out what social services are available that can can be of help to him. (Again your ASO should be able to point him in the right direction)

Syphillis can be treated and should be if he is indeed infected with it. He also needs to get baseline blood work done to see exactly where his t cells and viral load are at this point.

It's an extremely rough time for a person when they are first coming to terms with this. Your friend will have good days, and bad days. Be an ear. Be a shoulder. Just be there. Sometimes it's not a matter of the right thing to say. Sometimes it's just important that your presence is felt. But don't get upset if he feels the need to withdraw some. Sometimes it's easier to deal with these life changing events from a certain amount of seculsion.

Basics are important. Stress that he needs to take care of himself. Take it easy. Eat right. Rest a lot. He needs to learn what triggers stress for him and to avoid it when possible. A good thing for all of us, but expecially anyone dealing with a life long illness.

Things will get better for both of you. It just takes time. Chin up and hang in there.

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Reged: 08/10/06
Posts: 43
Loc: Kansas
Re: Best friend just found out HIV positive new
      #203062 - 08/10/06 07:02 AM

I know you have heard this saying before, however it is hard to swallow sometimes. God does everything for a purpose. Sometimes we have no idea what that purpose is and it makes us angry and question him, I am in your shoes sort of and I have three friends that are positive, It is hard for me sometimes to understand quite what they are going through all the time and sometimes I sit back and think about it if the tables were turned on me. i dont think I would make it throughm However With the three friends that I have i know that they would get me through some how. And I bet you can continue to get your friend through the hardest time in his life if you just stay focused on being stress free and reassuring. Think healthy for him that is the best thing you can do besides be a real true unconditional friend.

God bless me, God bless My Family, and God bless My Friends, Please forgive me for all of my sins,

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