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Totally disgusted with child
#187948 - 04/25/06 10:03 PM
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My daughter has HIV. What a fucken idiot not using protection. now its all a fuckin mess. She's a hateful inconsiderate self centered 25 yr old that has done nothing to endear herself to anyone but horny meth freaks thru the internet. now she blames her upbringing for making her do stupid things.. its a damn mess.
oh yea i read about all the love the newly diagnosed needs but how about the toll her hiv status takes on her sick parents, two way street damn it.
Yea i guess ill come around eventually and fake supportive behaviors until then. but im pissed and angry and not feeling too damn warm and fuzzy right now.
u can all say im a bad parent becuase i feel this way as im sure u all will but guess what, all of this flows both ways. hiv , diabetic, cancer, liver disease it all about taking care of yourself for those who love and adore you and if being gay makes u hate yourself dont punish yourself and the ones that love u . selfish selfish selfish. but what else is fucking new. I read that 60 % of rthe people who have ever had hiv have dies from it from 1984-2004.
yea im sure some of u will say if you are this kind of dad you wont be useful to your daughter. but u see its not all about her, its about us and her family. but on this site it just seems that its about the hiv patient
fuckin exasperated and have every right in the world to be.
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AIDS2HIV
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Legend
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Reged: 12/19/05
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the apple dont fall too far from the tree,Dad.
Everything youve bitched & complained about your daughter is clearly evident in yourself, look at your posting and get honest with yourself.
I agree that Hiv affects those around the affected, HOWEVER...the affects you have, can be easily cured, by education. Get off your Ego trip! Students are only as good as the Teachers, Children are only as Good as the Parents....it boils down to the example put forth.
Your daughter has a disease,that some day may kill her, a disease that has NO CURE, and what are you doing? You bring your own self centeredness here, pissing your life away, cuz you got your pride & ego bruised....Wah Wah Wah. You try to justify yourself by saying it flows both ways, but yet you limit the stream to only one way...YOUR WAY. Quit trying to feed us that its all her, when the behavior she displays is learned & allowed, and as you've stated she has done so, most of her life i.e....only thing she has done is endearing meth addicts, blah blah blah
You need to finally be a GOOD EXAMPLE for your daughter, and start by properly dealing with your own "self" issues. I dont know you, but from what you have displayed here....you are sicker than her at this point, and shes not to blame, YOU ARE !! You should praise her,for she is dealing with something you have made it quite obvious that you arent man enough to. Quit playing the blame game, and grow up.
As for your daughter she needs to do the same, be resonsible & accountable for her "self" I'm sure she would follow your example, just as she has so far in life.
In closing let me tell you something about responsibility of parenting....Its only the childs fault if after all efforts of guidance & support from an INVOLVED parent have been exhausted, and the child doesnt acknowledge that......thats when it becomes the child own issue. You cant deny them of support & guidance, and expect them to do anything but what they think is best for themselves, usually resulting in poor decision making & failure. Quit taking life for granted. And quit expecting Life itself to do your parental responsibilties. Be an attractive Example to your daughter, instead of the self centered, selfish one you have been.
Good Luck & God Bless*
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Sir:
I feel your pain - but there is nothing anger is going to do now but make things worse. You are letting off steam right now and it is understandable.
Take things one step at a time and forgive your daughter for her irrational choices. She needs your love and understanding right now. Trust me the mental torture she is going through right now is way more than what you feel.
Make the most of now and the future - don't let the sun set on your anger.
LetUsReason
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Jenni
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Master
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Reged: 11/06/05
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Loc: Texas, USA
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I have to agree with HIV2AIDS...
You can call your daughter selfish all you want, but she didn't contract HIV to satisfy some inner want or need, and she didn't do it to angry or humiliate or hurt you. It happened, whether through her ignorance, stupidity, lack of self-respect (which, with a parent who spews such hatred, I can see her having a COMPLETE lack of self-respect or self-worth). Maybe it was a combination of all three, regardless, it's done. There is no going back. As of right now, there is no cure.
You, as a parent of a 25-y/o, need to grow up and be there for your daughter. Being a parent is the VERY meaning of selflessness. A parent's love is neverending and without conditions.
I hope to God that I can instill the knowledge in my children that I will always love them and be there for them no matter what they may bring upon themselves...
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It's you that I live for and for you that I die.
So I'll lay here with you until the final goodbye
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Jenni
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Master
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Reged: 11/06/05
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Oops, sorry bout that... AIDS2HIV
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It's you that I live for and for you that I die.
So I'll lay here with you until the final goodbye
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I think all this anger is coming from the fact that you're scared for her and you don't know what to do. Fear spawns anger. Your scared of what people will think of her, of what people will think of you as a parent and what kind of care she will need, and who will ultimately provide that for her. I think you need to call your daughter to you and tell her you love her, and that no matter whats happened in the past you are going to be by her side..And then do it!
Everyone screws up.....You know you are not innocent...and maybe even you have engaged in unprotected sex....if so..this could have just as easily been you.
You are so angry at her because you are scared. You both need professional help to get through this, and maybe you will end up closer then you ever were before. Give all this anger and hatred to God, tell him to take it from you, and when you look at your daughter don't see her mistakes, and DONT see HIV, see the little girl you used to know and parent her with love.
I pray that you used this post of yours as a way to vent, and that you intend to move forward now as a loving father,.
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I read that 60 % of rthe people who have ever had hiv have dies from it from 1984-2004.
This is an old statistic. If she takes care of herself, sees an HIV specialist, gets support, and if she needs meds, takes them all on time she should do well. But she needs support and a stable life. What's done is done. You're her father and unfortunately the job of a parent is to try to support a kid. Don't forget, it's easy to do stupid things when you're young. If she's going to survive this, she'll need your love and help. You'll have to see a counselor so you can vent your anger and be able to be their for your kid. Afterall that's your job.
Who said having kids was easy? It's selfless work.
Another thing: The biggest risk for HIV is low self esteem. People who don't care enough about themselves don't insist on protection.
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i would hate to have her as my mother! she could of died in a car accident and never see her again.
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First one finder, smells his own behinder ! Just cause you're "Dad" in this life to her doesn't mean she's not here as an educator for YOU ! & You do sound like you've much to learn. She is just as much a part of God's well being as you are "Dad". Keep pretending and it is YOU who'll feel the pain in the end. Love is so much easier than all the fuss and hateful energies.
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franfrog
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WOW! I am not even sure where to start with this one. I think you need to calm down first of all and look at what you are saying. Your daughter is still young and with the support of her family can live a normal life span. I think with a parent who would turn his /her back on her like that is just ignorant and stupid. You are calling her names and you are saying that she is making it all about her. You seem to be making it all about her. I am sure she was not out looking for this disease and she is not and idiot because she contracted the disease. That would mean we are all idiots for contracting this disease. I myself would not say I am an idiot nor anyone who is on this site.
I think you should take a cal pill and maybe find out how you can help your daughter and yourself to get through this instead of taking her dowwn and beating her over the head with it.
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Survivor
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Legend
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Reged: 10/30/05
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Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
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You might want to think about not inabeling your child until she reaches out for help. I am not sure her age. She is certainly old enough to know she will eventually die if she does not deal with the HIV issue. You have every right to feel the way you do. Normal processing for some parents. Others not. It just depends on your situation. Is she a drug abuser? Does she have an ID doc yet? If you have any info on her viral load, cd4 count etc we can give you a better picture where she is in the scheme of HIV.
THIS IS A PLACE TO VENT. BE HEARD AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE CATCH SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE MISSING... KEEP POSTING
Love
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JonCage
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Master
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Reged: 04/13/06
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There is no one person to blame for HIV. Not you or your daughter. We as a society fail to be educated because we believe that it will not "affect" us.
No one intentially goes out and gets infected. We all make mistakes and have to live with the consequences.
You are right that this will change your life and hers, but it's not always for the worst. You are angry at yourself because deep down, you really do love your daughter. If you could care less, her newly diagnoses wouldn't matter to you.
Many of the individuals here are "warm" and "fuzzy" because they have learned to accept and live with the disease. I really believe one day that you will be too.
Love your daughter with all you have, because it just sucks to die with regrets.
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Red like love, as a symbol of passion and tolerance towards those affected
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your ignorance is why thousands of people die alone everyday. i pray your daughter will never be one of them.
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Eclipse
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Reged: 05/09/06
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From the way you are using profane language and acknowleding your daughter in that form and not giving her support i agree with her on blaming it up on her up bringing..maybe if u showed her more love and companionship she wouldnt run off..unfortunatelu its what happens at home that makes an individual. even tho the person in the end makes their own decisions you can always instill something within them that will reflect right from wrong...you need prayer. i will pray for you. how could you despise your daughter in that matter you outta be ashamed of yourself..your self centered and ignorant and if it happend to you maybe you'd be a better man...you asshole
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Eclipse
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Reged: 05/09/06
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You guys, feel no sympathy for this man..obviously he's VERY immature and has a LACK of education because it seems like all thats coming out of his mouth are curse words. TO the father look at all of us on here. We are all somehow infected by this virus whether thru family or loved ones friends or ourselves or even just the people who want to get more education on it. You really need to do like AIDS2HIV said and re read your post, sit down and think about what an IDIOT you are and re write your thoughts. As for your daughter she doesnt need you there are billions out here that are willing to support her and every one that has responded to your post are of the billions..your an asshole!!!!
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