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My dad has AIDS i need some help
#171879 - 01/27/06 12:24 AM
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Well its a long story to begin with, I am 18 years old (male) my mom died of breast cancer when I was 10 years old. Because my dad couldn't raise me by himself i came to USA after 2 years my mom past away. I had a lot of relatives lives here in US so I was living at my aunt's house at the time and going to school and having a faily good time with new environment althought there were times I really missed my dad back home.
After Few years of staying in US i got a call from my country that my dad is found really sick and coming here to US to get treatments I had no idea what he was sick with , I was just so worried, When i went to Airport to see my dad i couldnt believe it was dad he was very veryskinny and looked awful . After few months of staying with my dad I just thought that whatever diease he had it would get better with some medication he was taking everyday.
One day when he was away I looked at his little bag had a prescription and some medication. When I looked at the paper I was shocked to found out that he has AIDS. Since then I had to go through a hardest time of my life, i couldnt concentrate on school i didnt want to hang out with my friends my life just seemed miserable but I slowly gotten better and i was actually back to normal after an year.
So I was having a good time with my dad we would go somewhere for a trip and play sports together it was just normal sun and a dad thing. But something has gone wrong with me towards end of last year. I developed this wierd symtoms such as I cant talk straight face to my dad fearing that his spit might get into me even though i know for a fact that you can't get HIV that way, Im even scared to go in a crowd place also fearing that i might get contact with someone and get HIV, I used to be a good soccer player but i dont even play anymore cause im afraid to get in contact with some people thinking that they might be bleeding somewhere and get into my open cut somewhere, IT IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY i am so sick and tired of living like this.
But most importantly i worry about relationship between me and my dad, cause i keep try to avoid him i dont even want to sit next to him anymore, and eating DEFINITE NO
I feel so sorry for my dad for acting this way i dont think he has found out my problems yet cause i used to be just normal with him just last year.
I would freak out for just about everything that is red, thinkhing that that might be blood and somehow get into my body, I cant even go to any stores without wearing gloves because i dont want to have any hand contact at all when you exchange cash with cashier This has gone totally crazy and i dont know what to do i did get a chance to talk to one of counselor but that didnt help me at all, i dont know how I am going to live rest of my life feeling this way towards my dad and other people around me.
please help
im living a miserble life
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Survivor
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Legend
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Reged: 10/30/05
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Posts: 3256
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Loc: Get off the fence and live again!
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Anon..
I am sorry to here you are afraid of just about anyting with an A. I. D. S. in it.. I am sort of on the flip side of you. My Dad supports my HIV condition and we share a deep love of life together. No reason why you cant do that. Your fears are unjustified. Educate yourself my friend. Keep asking questions....
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AIDS2HIV
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Legend
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Reged: 12/19/05
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Posts: 2161
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i dont feel sorry for your dad, i feel sorry for you. I suggest a Mental Health Care Professional for fear and anxiety, and most importantly....educate yourself about hiv/aids. God Bless*
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Monchhichi
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Guru
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Reged: 02/07/05
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Posts: 248
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Loc: Florida
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Yeah you definitely want to look into a Psych, it sounds KIND of like a post traumatic effect. Maybe you were too young to deal with it when you found (or even the way you found out). You may also want to come clean with your Dad. It will help heal some of the wounds you are carrying around with you. Good Luck!!! I really do hope you are able to fight your way past this.
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Never forget: Life is too precious to take for granted.
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DO NOT GIVE UP COUNSELING.
i understand what you are going trough, but once you get inform about the disease, you realize that all of this fear are unfounded. you do not have anything to worry about, you should enjoy more the time your father have left here, so you will no regreat it later. honestly i am concern about you, not him. he is dealing with his disease, and doing somehting about it, like medication, treatment, but you are not.
HIV is it very hard to get, everything has to be in the right spot for you to get infected, and if you are not having un protective sex with an infected person, you are aout of the loop.
if make you feel better only worry about your toothbrush, and razors, since both can make anyone bleed, other than that, just enjoy your Dad, he needs you right now.
take care.
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becks555
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Newbie
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Reged: 01/26/06
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thank you.
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My dad was diagnosed with AIDS in September. He passed away in November. We were never really close but in those two months I had left with him, I was with him EVERYDAY. I can't stress enough how important it is for you to keep that bond between you and your dad. It really is rather hard for you to catch AIDS so stop stressing over it. Love your dad. Be there with him. He's more scared than you are so be supportive. He loves you and I'm pretty sure if the roles had been reversed, he would be with you every second of the way. Have that same consideration.
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You got some psycologically ill..
Don't be afraid of touching and playing with your dad.
hiv is not transmitted this way.
understand: your dad needs your love, it will help him live longer. support him.
talk to him about his disease.
it is very important that you have good relationship for both of you!
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OK, I know this can be a little scary. My best friend is positive. When my daughter was born we didn't know... she kissed my baby, hugged my baby, practically slobbered on my baby. She's cut her finger and I've bandaged it, we've shared drinks and food.... we're the closest friends ever! Then we found out she had HIV,that was a long day, I left work and spent the whole day with her, most of it I was holding her and she cried alot and her tears were running down my arm, I was not afraid. I dont have HIV, my daughter does not have HIV, and she still snuggles with her, dresses her, kisses her chubby cheeks and I am not afraid. We know there are certain things we have to be careful about... and we are. I think the number one thing you need to do is educate yourself. it also sounds like you are developing some unhealthy anxiety and phobias.. I used to have anxiety disorder so I know how sucky life can be when you live like that, you do need to see a therapist. Then, why not get tested. You will know you are negative, you will be educated and have someone to help you work through your fears.. Then my friend... you need to enjoy your dad... and he needs to enjoy you. You're relationship with one parent was cut too short by circumstances beyond your control... don't rob yourself of enjoying your relationship with your dad. He needs you, and yuo probablly need him too. God Bless
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DavidSolomon
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All Star
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Reged: 02/17/06
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Posts: 95
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Loc: Gilbert (Phoenix) Arizona
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I just skimmed over the posts after I read yours. You need to get hold of yourself. this may help you a bit:
About me, I am retired from the funeral service industry of many years and have handled many aids patients. I have had a brother that had aids, although we lived in different states and had little contact with him, there was some. I am gay and in a 25 year relationship. I am negative.
I go through this to make this point--mainly. Your fears are not actually with being intimate with someone. Your fears are being within 10 feet of anyone. I gather you are still of school age? Have a talk with your counselor, if not them, someone from a church, or even go to a local gay orginazation. Talk to someone and ask where you can get some assistance in overcomming this thing. It is going to ruin you. Educate yourself, Spend time at the library.
In short, what you fear is unreal, though I realize it is real to you, and you need to be aware that you do not have to isolate yourself from the everyday things in life.
There is help out there, just seek it out. And do not think less of yourself for having these fears. If you can reach the place where you can realize you can overcome them, you will continue on well.
david
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David
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