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crazy question - hormones of pregnancy
#169754 - 01/13/06 08:09 AM
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Hello, I am an hiv negative wife of a positive man. We found out he was positive when I was 3 months pregant and found he when he was converting. I completely freaked out and was so mad at him for cheating and getting it and putting the baby at risk, I moved out. Now, two years later, I am looking back at it and I really feel the hormones of pregnancy made me so crazy enough to leave him. My child is two years old now and I feel I never would have left if I I was not pregant. Do you think when you are pregnant you act more crazy? The problem is my leaving/moving out has made so many devestating problems between us. I am just trying to find an explanation for my leaving the love of my life or is was it normal to feel that way after finding out and now I am just used to it and are okay with it now? Thanks
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Personally, I don't think it was the hormones. I think u would have done the same if u weren't pregnant. Cheating is a big deal. And HIV is a big deal. My sister contracted HIV from some one she was with for a long time and he new he was +. He never told her. I think I would have to know more about the situation, but if he admitted to cheating I think u did the right thing.
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It may have been hormones. But you went with your gut. Did he cheat with a man?? It's hard for a man to get HIV just from one incident with a woman.
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Yes, he cheated with a man/men. He also had an internet ad two years earlier looking for a man stating he was bisexual. I confronted him and he said it was a joke. I loved him too much too leave and then he cheated and caught hiv. It has been two years and I still love him but we are apart. But he has dated only women that I know of since I left. I still find it hard to believe that he is bisexual after all this. I just don't see it in him nor does he admit anything. What do you think?
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ny10001
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Grand Master
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Reged: 07/08/05
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Hind sight is not always as clear as we think it ought to be. Could have been hormones or maybe not. Statistically, however, a person who cheats once is likely to do it again (gay, straight, bi, male, or female). I'm not saying your ex-husband is necessarily that statistic, but you may have to consider that possibility.
A sad fact is that many times, an individual trying to deny homosexual desires will often not use a condom during the same sex encounter...why?...for some reason those who do it view putting on the condom as an admission of the desire to be with the same gender...the very thing they're trying to deny in the first place. Unfortunately that, of course, increases the likelihood of infection.
You can't fight genetics...if he's attracted to men, he's always going to be attracted to men and needs to deal with it and be honest about it. My two cents...before making any decisions, be sure he has truly dealt with that. I don't doubt that he truly loved you as a person when marrying you, but the fact that he didn't share with you his attraction to men could be a warning sign that he may actually be gay rather than bi but doesn't want to admit it (maybe even to himself).
Gay, bi, or straight, it can still be possible for you two to have a loving friendship and raise your child in a healthy environment. Good luck to you no matter what you decide!
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