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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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worriednyc
Unregistered

my friend had a heart attack
      #162585 - 10/24/05 10:29 AM

i am in the precarious position of a good friend to two guys who are hiv+ and extremely secretive about their status. one friend just had a heart attack. his partner (my very close friend) has been visiting him in the hospital and i suspect that they are not telling the doctors their status. their families do not know their status. the secrecy is making me very upset, as a public health issue and because i think my friend's family should know. i realize the latter is not my business. any advice from those who have experienced this? of course i also worry what is the significance of this heart attack, at the age of 45. both friends have been positive for 15 to 20 years. what is their prognosis? they are on medications.

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Anonymous
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162590 - 10/24/05 10:58 AM

It is only up to then to tell. if you are their good friend, respect their privacy and decision to deal with whatever comes they way they choose to. be there for then since you seems to be one of the few to know theirs status and relationship, they will need your support and loyalty.
my prayers for all of you.


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debtex
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Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162670 - 10/24/05 08:18 PM

my prayers go out to your friend his partner, and to you also. it is very tough to watch someone you love go thru this.

as much as it is not favored by alot of people, the disclosure of ones hiv status belongs to that of the person with the hiv. it may very well be possible that the doctors DO know about his status.....but because of disclosure would NEVER discuss hiv in front of anyone. if he is on medications, I know alot of them can be problematic for heart conditions. is he on medication?
but as far as his family is concerned, that is up to HIM to tell. I dont see what difference it would make if they knew or not. Why would that constitute them the right to know? They are at no risk?!.

I do wish you all the best. my prayers and thoughts are with you all,.

love and prayers,
debbie

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Anonymous
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162726 - 10/25/05 01:40 PM

thanks so much for your kind words. it's good to hear from others. i have found out that my friend did in fact disclose his status to the doctors. in terms of the family, yes, i realize they are not at risk generally speaking. but sometimes my friend cooks in his parents' home, what if there's an accident? he has also been ill at his parents' home and has gone to the hospital in their town.
of course in the end it is his choice. i am only a good friend who needs to support his decision. i cannot live in his shoes. thanks everyone for your support and thoughts.

gratefully, nycfriend

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Anonymous
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162827 - 10/26/05 06:53 PM

It's unnecessary to disclose to people who you are not having sex or sharing needles with. Don't forget that you CANNOT transmit HIV casually. There are NO documented cases of transmitting HIV in 40 million infections around the world through cooking, sharing dishes, hugging or hanging out in the same house. NONE! So there is no risk to his parents. It's his decision if he thinks they can't handle it. It's hard enough to live with a life threatening disease without having to deal with others judgement.

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bradford
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Reged: 01/15/04
Posts: 66
Loc: Vancouver, B.C. Canada
Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162829 - 10/26/05 08:06 PM

These fellows have been living with HIV long term and in order to be using HIV/AIDS medications, regular blood is necessary and followups with a physician is a part of their lives. There is no reason to beleive the doctor has not been informed and in such a case, hospitalization would prompt blood work and blood work would reveal HIV Infection. Your friends partner's heart attack may be associated with the long term use of HIV/AIDS medications.

You do not have any right to disclose anyone else's HIV status and to do so; would be a breach of confidentiality! To not reveal ones HIV status to family; is not a public health issue! HIV is transmitted through sexual contact.

Given the fact that these two men have lived with HIV long term, they are well experienced. Their reasons for not disclosing to family are their own. You should respect and honour their wishes. To do otherwise, is not that of a good friend.


--------------------
Bradford McIntyre

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Anonymous
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162830 - 10/26/05 08:18 PM

[quote]These fellows have been living with HIV long term and in order to be using HIV/AIDS medications, regular blood is necessary and followups with a physician is a part of their lives.


ooppps! Should have read; ...regular blood work is necessary and followups with a physician is a part of their lives.

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debtex
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Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162832 - 10/26/05 09:29 PM

BUT!!! to be added, that when a person is an inpatient in a hospital, yes alot of bloodwork is drawn up on them.....but there would be no reason, or indication during time of admission to do lab work for tcells, viral load, or an hiv test when you are admitted for a heart attack. So, if they were NOT followed regularly and not on medications.....it would take a bit of investigating to even suspect his heart attack was related. (but I too feel it could be from the medications).
but I also know......it is illegal for a physician to draw an hiv test on a patient WITHOUT their consent.


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poznsocal
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162838 - 10/26/05 11:45 PM

Actually, whether or not a person has an HIV test done upon admission on an inpatient basis by a hospital depends on whether or not the person is conscious during admission. If a person is admitted via an emergency room, and is unconscious, the staff may draw blood for an HIV antibody test, as well as other diseases and viruses, if there is a strong potential for transmission (e.g. an open wound that needs to be cleaned and treated). Since the person in question was admitted for a heart attack it is doubtful that such tests would be done. Something else, it's highly probable that it would be listed in his medical record, therefore, the cardiologist would most likely have noticed it, especially considering the vast majority of states use a name based testing and reporting system when one has a positive result to an HIV test.

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Anonymous
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162840 - 10/27/05 12:21 AM

Have you ever heard of univeral precations??? If you are a real friend, respect their privacy and right to disclose!!! It may help to seek counseling for yourself. People, friends, family just don't know how to help nor what to do..

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Anonymous
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162841 - 10/27/05 12:25 AM

oops, it's universal precautions

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Anonymous
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162861 - 10/27/05 11:09 AM

There are two separate issues in your email. (1) Should you disclose your friend's HIV status to his doctor? Absolutely not. Any sane healthcare professional is currently taking universal precautions to avoid exposure to HIV. Doctors and nurses are trained professionals who deal with the potential exposure all day long. It is not up to you to tell them. You might want to encourage your friend to be open with his doctor simply to ensure that your friend is getting the best care possible -- but your "public health" concern is misplaced. (2) You seem to want to tell your friend's family. Why? It's frankly none of your damn business whether your friend tells his family or not. A true friend would respect your friend's choice and support his decision. Stop meddling.

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debtex
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Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162870 - 10/27/05 02:51 PM

It would not depend on a persons concious state during admission for them to "randomly" draw an hiv test. or for other tests for that matter. (unless there was a type of exposure...ie: being a fight w/ police officer, or needlestick injury).
If a person is admitted and is unconcious, whether it be for a heart attack, or major trauma with alot of wounds and blood involved, the hospital staff is expected to treat every patient as if they may have any infection--even HIV and take necessary precautions.
Its not the obligation of the hospital to test someone for hiv when they come in bleeding, to FIND OUT, if they are diseased then. they are to treat them that way....regardless.
if you come in with a major wound....its not up to the hospital to say "we need to know if you have hiv".


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Anonymous
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Re: my friend had a heart attack new
      #162881 - 10/27/05 04:21 PM

DO NOT TELL ANYONE! people did that to me more then once even they think they were doing the right thing it may not be at this time. Let them handle their own privecy affairs

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: my friend had a heart attack
      #164100 - 11/14/05 08:40 AM

absolutly dont tell anybody except mom about hiv status hiv is considered most dangerous illness known to man ie contagious most countries bar hiv people people will bash intimidate harass aids patient long friends would depart a person just hide ur status

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