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no sexual contact
#159708 - 09/08/05 01:22 PM
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My husband won't have sex with me at all. No kissing, no touching, no holding hands, no intimacy at all. He is pos, I am neg. We've been married going on 2 years, and I don't know how much more I can take. He will not compromise at all. I will not cheat with anyone else. Any advice on what to do?
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Monchhichi
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Guru
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Reged: 02/07/05
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Posts: 248
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Loc: Florida
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You need to get to the root of why? Maybe he is afraid of infecting you? Have you had sex before while knowing about his status? There are alot of questions that arise for that particular subject. You may both need couples counseling. Or he may need individual counseling to overcome whatever may be eating at him. I wish you luck.
--------------------
Never forget: Life is too precious to take for granted.
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daisey6205
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Legend
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Reged: 09/08/05
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Posts: 1091
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Loc: kansas
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my husband did the same thing to me when we first found out he was pos. i just about lost it. he told me that since he found out his status he no sex drive at all and he did not want to risk me catching it, but by the time we found out he was pos. it was too late. We learned a few days ago that I am also pos.
It took him a while to come around though, but he did. He was a horn dog before, I guess it would be hard, standing back looking at his situation from a different angle. Not wanting to infect someone else that they care so much about. It takes time, but he will come around. How long has it been since you found out and did you know he was pos when you were married? I married knowing he was pos and knowing that it was going to take everything I had and more to be able to get him through it, little did we know I was going to have to give even more of myself to get my own self through it also. I know it seems like alot when your spouse isn't giving to you and you feel as though you are giving and giving and giving. I am sure you must feel like he is taking and taking. I did. I did not know how much more I could give with out feeling like I was the one fighting his battle, but now I can say I know how he felt. Sometimes people just don't know how to adjust to anothers hurt, I didn't. I almost lost my mind. It is hard and it hurts so bad to be where you are. I hope that somewhere within you is the strength to continue to fight for the man that you love. You can do it. God be with you in your struggle, it will get better. I promise.
Daisey
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See a therapist.
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as hard as it could be, he have to deal with the reality of your union.
if he really loves you, and what you have together, he will have to start working on accepting the reality of it. profesional help is always a good way to start. if his poz news were recent, will take him sometime to start dealing with it, and as hard as it sounds, you will have to be patience.
you can always vent out things here, we are listening.
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