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how to deal with husband's insecurities
      #155826 - 06/05/05 09:15 AM

I have made a previous post on this board, and I thank those who gave me advice. My husband was diagnosed with AIDS about 3 months ago, with a CD4 count of 21. The news hit me hard, and was completely unexpected. I am negitive (suprising, but I am thankful), and though my husband went downhill very fast in terms of health, he is now on ARV meds and has responded to them well. He is gaining weight, and can even drive a car! I believe that he will return to full health, and that his CD4 count will rise. I am very hopeful for our future.

My question is that now my husband is over the worst of the sickness, he is very depressed and insecure. We had a huge fight last weekend. In my heart, I know it was sparked from the fact he is scared I will leave him because he is HIV positive and has AIDS. He is worried that because I am not infected with the virus, I will want to start over with someone new, have a family and do the things that he believes we can't do now because of his illness. I have never considered leaving him, though friends have urged me to do so. I am very hopeful, and I know that he and our relationship, given time, will return to normal. But how can I convince him of the same thing? P.S. At the moment, we are not living together, I am in the city where we lived before, and he is at home at his parents house. I visit him on the weekends, but at this time, I must resume work in order to pay for his recent medical bills. Our distance does not help the situation.

Thank you for any advice. My email is, if anyone wants to contact me off the board. Thanks.


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