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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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honeybee55
Newbie

Reged: 05/19/05
Posts: 1
My Boyfriend is HIV positive
      #148654 - 05/19/05 10:27 AM

I have been with my boyfriend since June 2004 ..I just found out this past month that He is HIV positive I knew he was on meds of all kinds wasn't exactly positive for what though...I finally sat Him down and talked to him and asked him to please tell me what the pills were for...He finally admitted in 95 he was told he was HIV positive ...He was afraid to tell me...He has been in the hospital twice near death ...that part I knew just didnt know the why...I love him with all my heart and can't leave him..but I am scared we have never practiced safe sex the whole time we have been together...I have been tested twice and am HIV free so far ...He appears to me to be in denial of his disease..he takes his meds because i give them to him each day...I cant leave him i need him he needs me...we never talk about his disease..how can i make things more in the open with him? He has told me if i discuss this with anyone I will have to leave no if ands or buts about it...so I haven't talked with anyone till now about it...also I know I am going to hear leave him immediatly and I cant and won't do that...just need a friendly ear to listen to me and talk...
honeybee55

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stefsorg
Unregistered

Re: My Boyfriend is HIV positive new
      #148655 - 05/19/05 11:36 AM

Honey
I am on the other end. I find out after 4 yrs of dating my husband i was hiv positive and he was not. I contracted it shortly before meeting him in 99. Well we are married today. I work, go to school, own a home, reach for my goals. I don't let hiv rule me. I haven't started meds but the time is approaching, their not that bad anymore if you don't have a lot of resistance which occurs mainly when you don't take them correctly. He shouldn't have lied to you, he put you at risk. If he maintains his health he could be around for a long time to come. He has to get out of denial to do this. Hope this helps a bit.

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Charlie
Newbie

Reged: 04/10/05
Posts: 8
Loc: UK
Re: My Boyfriend is HIV positive new
      #148844 - 05/19/05 01:59 PM

Hi i have been in your shoes, my boyfriend told me he was hiv+ 2years ago, i'm also neg but from the monment he found out he made shure i was protected. You can go on and have a normal life (whatever normal means) We are now married and trying for our first child.
The only thing that worrys me is that he knew about the hiv but did not protect you. Have you spoken to him about that?

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debtex
Legend

Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: My Boyfriend is HIV positive new
      #150409 - 05/21/05 11:37 PM

Hi HOneybee
I'm sure you have a million emotions in your head, and I understand why he would want to keep his status a secret. That is ones personal choice, and it is good that you respect that for him, talking here on this board is okay, we are all here for the same reasons....and we would never say anything.
I know its hard, but poz,and neg relationships can work out. they can be safe, and healthy, but you have to wonder why he would have put you at risk. There are alot of people in denial about hiv and afraid of rejection, but we with hiv, even terrified of the rejection will insist on condom use (unless we think to ourselves that we may be passing this virus to someone else). If he loves you....why wouldn't he feel that way about making love to you. Please don't take my words as being terribly inconsiderate. I've been in those shoes, I've even persisted for the truth (even knowing there were times that I was putting myself at risk, and you know, you had thought the same about him, or you wouldn't have insisted on the "discussion"). But no matter how I approached the situation, his fear of the disease & stigma didn't subside...he didn't want to accept it,....well, not only did it cause hiv to take his life, but it also caused me to become hiv positive 13 years ago. You need to ask yourself, (or ask him), did he even think about your future when he was putting you at risk. Please, I'm sorry if I sound like I am prying or bieng cruel about this......but he really should have protected you...even if he was afraid to tell you. And if he is going to persist that you leave him, because you are scared and trying to reach out for education for you both (not to tell people), then I think you should re-evaluate the value of you, and get to the openness that you want in your relationship.

Love and prayers......
Debbie

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: My Boyfriend is HIV positive new
      #151635 - 05/23/05 02:32 AM

[quote]Hi i have been in your shoes, my boyfriend told me he was hiv+ 2years ago, i'm also neg but from the monment he found out he made shure i was protected. You can go on and have a normal life (whatever normal means) We are now married and trying for our first child.
The only thing that worrys me is that he knew about the hiv but did not protect you. Have you spoken to him about that? [/quote]

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: My Boyfriend is HIV positive new
      #151636 - 05/23/05 02:38 AM

I always read this site - it is so informative and thanx to all for your input -
Now my main question.
I just have one question which could change my life. How is it possible for an HIV + male to have a baby with a negative female?
Please respond as my future depends on this.
Prayers and lovies to all.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: My Boyfriend is HIV positive new
      #155698 - 05/31/05 10:09 PM

can you please tell me how you can have a baby with a positive male?? I need to know. Thank you Carol

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: My Boyfriend is HIV positive new
      #191147 - 05/13/06 02:30 AM

I agree!

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