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scarbray
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Reged: 04/15/05
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Posts: 4
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My husband and my soul mate has full blown AIDS!
#140184 - 04/15/05 10:58 PM
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I need someone to talk to so badly. Let me begin with my story. Ive been chasing my husband for over ten years, I even got married to another man. I got divorced and here was my love of my life waiting for me. I had a child with my ex and my new husband took him in and treated him as if he was his own. Hes only 32 a gorgeaus black man. Im white not that it matters but anyway. we just got married not but a year and half. Im almost 40 and wanted a baby for him so we just had our little girl three months ago. Then that dark cloud fell on our happy life. It happened with in three months. he has full blown aids. we had to warning signs hes never been sick before ever. Hes not gay just with the wrong person I guess. Now this once veral man who was stocky and beautiful is a skeloton with facial hair all over* he was bald. His arms are thinner than my little girls. He cant walk, go to the bathroom, eat , or barely talk. THis has hit so fast. Im still reeling from it. Now I have to juggle the hospital, his depression, my kids and my job because Im now the soul provider. I didnt know I was this strong but Im slowing breaking down now. I cry every night. I dont know what to do. Im watching him die. The drs give us hope but I see reality as it is. We had the death talk today and said to each other what we needed to say and his wishes. God I thought I would be 80 when I had this talk with him. I really need a friend. My friends are very supportive and so is all the family but they cannot understand fully what he and I are going through. I cant even understand what he is going through. Help...... Oh and Im negative and so is she. Miracle I know.
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i cannot claim to understand what u may be going through just as my friends and acquintances can never imagine what i go through as a seropositive: but thats we were are human beings and need contact from each other to lead us through. all is not yet lost pray to God and actually believe what u ask HIM. your husband developed aids very fast but that does not mean its the end for him. i would pray for u and all others in your position: take heart, love marie
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river
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Expert
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Reged: 03/05/05
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Posts: 107
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Hello there,
I'm so sorry to hear about your hubby. But don't give up hon. I've been diagnosed full blown many many years ago.And I know many others that are also still with us. Just don't give up. I have a friend that for the longest time had only 3 t-cells. Hes now going to shool to be a nurse and works with handicap . His goal is to work in an aids inviorment. He does body building got married and moved to minnisota. So you see what my look bleak is only so with our eyes. Trust God in this and you'll be surprized what a stepping stone this really is. It's a matter of attitude hon. If you would like to talk privately I'm at flogeo@comcast.net. Till we meet again take care and chin up soldier, This is a mission that we're on...FLO
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LARYOM
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Reged: 04/15/05
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Posts: 6
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HI.
JUST KNOW YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE GOING THROUGH THIS TYPE.YOU ONLY NEED TO BE VERY STRONG AND DON'T GIVE UP.WITH GOOD MEDS AND LOVE,HE'LL PULL THROUGH THIS INITIAL STAGE AND GET STRONGER AND BETTER.JUST HOLD ON TO THE HOPE AND LOVE YOU HAVE.IT'LL SUSTAIN YOU AND YOU'LL BE SURPRISED AT THE MIRACLE YOU'LL EXPERIENCE.I HOPE TO KEEP PRAYING FOR YOU.BEST WISHES
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hi
i was reading your post today and decided to write to you.even though my husband doesnt have aids my dad does. all the things you said that are happing to your husband are happing to my dad it is very sad to see your loved one going through this and theres not much we can do. i feel that god will help your husband and my dad get through this we cant let them give up.well just wanted to share a little hope you know that if you need a friend im here when ever you need me.ok bye
my e mail address is cortez_71@hotmail.com
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IzPoZ
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Guardian
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Reged: 01/24/05
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Posts: 398
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Loc: FTL, Florida
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Hi Scar,
I can full well understand what you are going through, as I am going through a very similar situation. The difference is, we have known about his status for well over 11 years, and I was diagnosed the same time. He was full blown when we found out.
But now he's dealing with the fight of his life.
Being mom, sole provider, and caretaker is not an easy job to juggle. There will be moments where you wish you could run away, even for a few minutes. You will have times of frustration and wishing you could help him feel better. Don't give up hope, and be the person he married.
I certainly hope that things turn around for you. It's a hard battle to fight.
Passing hugs your way, in the hopes that they will be of some comfort in your troubling times.
Keep your chin up, and always show your husband the love you have for him.
--------------------
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.
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Dear scarebray,
It happend excatly the same to me last year. My husband was diagnosed with full blowns aids, could not walk, no control over the bladder, lost a lot of weight. I thought he would not make it. We are now one year further, he is still alive, he still cannot walk, but he is a live.
Your husband is much younger than mine, he will get better, you have to believe in this, he needs good medication, good food and supplements ( vitamins etc.) Your love for him will help him trough this difficult time.He needs your help and support. and most of all you love.
Please write to me if you want to talk
kabale246@aol.com
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I know exactly what you are going through. My husband was also diagnoised 3 months ago with AIDS, and has gone downhill very fast. He has lost 40 pounds, was not able to keep anything down, was not able to get out of bed, suffered memory loss due to an infection with toxoplasmosis, has liver and pancreas failure, is loosing his hair and has had a very dramatic (VERY) change in skin color, among others. He is dying, and it is very hard to watch. His CD4 count is at 21. Before this, we had absolutely no idea of his infection. My husband, though, has already started on ARV medication, and now is having to deal with the added side effects they have, but he is adjusting to them well. It has been a very stressful time on all of us, and I can honestly say that I have cried almost every day since we found out. But you must not give up hope. Medication is good, and AIDS is not a disease without hope. Your husband depends on you right now, and you need to find your own strength to help him. This is not the end of the world, nor is it the end of hope. You can make it thought this, as so can I. If you would like to talk more, my email is bakswanna@yahoo.com. Good luck to the both of us.
Claudia
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scarbray
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Newbie
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Reged: 04/15/05
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Posts: 4
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my husband has passed away three weeks ago. It was the hardest thing I ever have been through. I have relief for him because he didnt go easy. Im dealing with it day by day. I really miss him...
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scarbray
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Newbie
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Reged: 04/15/05
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Posts: 4
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thank you. It sure wasnt easy to deal with. I hope your situation is better since you wrote this. I still have one more test to do but so far 12 months still negative.
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