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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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rehtom1
New User

Reged: 03/19/05
Posts: 7
A Mothers Love
      #139012 - 03/20/05 07:35 AM

A mothers love is strong and unconditional, however, right now I need your support to help me help my child. I'm suppose to be strong, but I'm feeling very weak right now. I'm feeling helpless. I have so many questions. The first being, HOW LONG DOES MY SON HAVE TO LIVE??? He just tested HIV+ about a month ago and I know that he is trying to be strong for me and I'm trying to be strong for him. But the truth is, I could handle this a little better if we just delt with the facts. Am I loosing my son NOW, SOON, LATER? Is there help in the future? He is only 25 years old. Someone please reply. Thanks, Mom.

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IzPoZ
Regular

Reged: 01/24/05
Posts: 398
Loc: FTL, Florida
Re: A Mothers Love new
      #139015 - 03/20/05 08:26 AM

Rehtom,

One thing you need to keep reminding yourself, is this is NOT A DEATH SENTENCE. Yes, he's young, in fact, I think I was his age when I contracted the virus, but I didn't find out till later. That was well over 11 years ago. I'm still healthy. I'm still breathing. I am still raising my own daughter.

He needs your support and love right now. He is probably just as confused as you are. Perhaps if you looked up on line with the CDC, or check with your local support groups, get as much information as you can.

What would you do if you son was diagnosed with Diabetes? Think about it......

While HIV is not diabetes, it's still just as manageable as diabetes. People live full, normal lives with HIV if they take the proper care of themselves. Eat right, exercise, rest when you are tired, regular doctor visits, regular bloodwork, etc, etc, etc.

Good luck in your search for information and support.... Please, check out the local support groups in your area. It helped me in the beginning.... I think it will help you, too.

--------------------
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

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rehtom1
New User

Reged: 03/19/05
Posts: 7
Re: A Mothers Love new
      #139016 - 03/20/05 08:34 AM

thank you for the quick response. as i write this "thank you" tears fall from my eyes with hope and prayer. I will seek a support group. thank you.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: A Mothers Love new
      #139033 - 03/20/05 09:07 PM

I know this is so difficult for you. I was 29 when I tested positive. My mother told me before I told her. She has been so strong an d this has helped me to carry on. I was working part-time and had no health insurance. I have been positive for nearly three years. With my mother's support, I have finished a Bachelor's and Master's Degree and will be pursuing my Ph.D. I work full-time and have health and life insurance. I am living my life. I have improved my diet and exercise. I am not on antiretroviral therapy and I feel really good. I am living my life! I'm not sure I could have done it without my mother. Your son really needs your strength. It will get easier but the hurt will never pass. A mother always wishes that she could kiss the pain away but this is a little bit different. However, you can show your son how much you love him. Encourage him and you two will grow together. Best Wishes.

Dakotalagrange
HIV+ for three years

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Lilly
New User

Reged: 11/11/04
Posts: 8
Re: A Mothers Love new
      #139036 - 03/20/05 10:13 PM

My heart goes out to you because I know how scared my mom was for me when I found out at 24. As a parent myself, I know how you worry more about your children than yourself. Reading all we could helped us, by educating ourselves about it we realized that although there were going to be some rough times.... there were MANY great years ahead. I would like to tell you that from my experience (I have known a few years now) The first year was the hardest, dealing with alot of different emotions... but as time went on it got easier and now it is just a part of my life I have accepted. It is wonderful to hear that you are so supportive, I know having my family helped me realize my life was far from over.
I hope for you both strength and peace,
Sunshine


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HBK
New User

Reged: 03/23/05
Posts: 3
Loc: Manila, Phil.
Re: A Mothers Love new
      #139131 - 03/23/05 04:17 AM

I know how you feel for your son, but think about it if your son is just been recently infected it still would take 10 or more years before AIDS developed, and i think by that time we have a better treatment for this disease than we have right now, science is not stopping in combating this damn virus, i have many friends who are HIV+ just being there for them really helps a lot, laslty find a support group...& always ask God for strength...

--------------------
"Hope is the last thing to fade.."

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debtex
Veteran

Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: A Mothers Love new
      #139421 - 03/30/05 03:34 PM

I know how hard it must be for you, to be so afraid for your son's well being. Nothing has hurt me more than the day my mother came with me for my results. When I told her what they were, she fell to the ground, and could hardly move, she trembled all over. (I cry as I write this to you) and that was 12 yrs ago. In the begining she was very (I dont want to say overbearing) but very overprotective of me., but I know she really just wanted to show me that she cared, and was not afraid of the hiv. but as time went on, and we both learned alot, and she would ask alot of questions...we bagan to realize that our lives are really just as they were before, just with some changes about medications and alot of appreciation for our lives and our time together. It also helped my mother,when she was terrified in the beginning and talked to her doc about it...turned out that he treats patients w/ hiv, so I've been seeing him since. (I know that gave her alot of assurance). I am sorry you have to feel these feelings, I've seen how devistating it can be to a mother(and also being a mother myself), to think she is going to have to watch her child die.but you will just have a better time living. Whenever I think back to that day (10/17/95), I will never forget how I broke my mthers heart. but if you were to ask her today...she KNOWS, that she is not going to have loose me too soon. All my love to you.Please try to take it easy...and keep in touch.

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rehtom1
New User

Reged: 03/19/05
Posts: 7
Re: A Mothers Love new
      #139430 - 03/30/05 05:29 PM

Thank you for your words of comfort. Reading "real-life" stories really helps alot. Knowing that someone can relate to what I'm going through (not that I want to make it all about me). At the same time it's also been very educational. Keep the responses coming. Thank you.

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debtex
Veteran

Reged: 03/21/05
Posts: 846
Re: A Mothers Love new
      #139442 - 03/30/05 10:08 PM

I know you are not trying to make this about you. But I can also understand your serious committment to this and your concern. The best part about it, is that your willing to learn. Your willing to learn how life CAN get easier as time goes by. I don't think when I told my mother that I wanted to be tested that I would ever be prepared for her reaction. To this day, there isn't anything else in my life that breaks my heart more, so I can truly understand what you must be going thru. Now that your son is aware of his status is he following medical care?

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MontanaMom
Unregistered

Re: A Mothers Love new
      #150038 - 05/20/05 08:26 PM

I know what you're going through. On Nov. 23, 2002 we learned out beautiful daughter was HIV+. She was only 20 years old and we were overwhelmed with heartache and fear. I soon volunteered at the local HIV/AIDS service organization to learn more about the illness and get support for our daughter. The people are so kind and caring and have been an immeasurable help to our family. She's symptom-free and not on any medicines yet. My prayer is that she remain symptom-free and someday will find love with a good person. Having this illness in Montana can be very isolating. Hopefully your son will stay healthy and live a long healthy life as well. You're both in my prayers.

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