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Please Help
#137065 - 03/06/05 03:28 PM
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This post is directed to anyone who can help shed some light on how to help the one you love live better. My best friend and partner for 5 years is positive, we have been seperated for 2 years and he contracted the virus within the last 3 months. Not only was he dealing with being layed off when he found out, but also with depression. He is the love of my life and the person I see myself spending the rest of my life with, I accept him for who he is and his health status in no way changes that. He feels damaged, lost and ashamed, he says that life doesn't seem to be worth living. I have attempted to get him to read spiritual books, to get in touch with his inner being. He started doing yoga and is eating a more healthy diet, I am out of the country for a few more months but I am there for him everyday. I chat with him and send him information that I find will be useful and also inspirational stories of people living with HIV. I plan on joining a support group when I get back, and meeting other people that are + and hearing their stories. I want to be active in any way I can, helping deal with this social stigma behind HIV/AIDS, we should fight the battle against the stigma and not against the people. If we want things to change, we need to change the way we look at them. Please help.
To all those living with HIV, my heart goes out to all of you, and remember to keep your spirits high and take this time to grow and connect to your source. The source of life that is, being creative, being love, being receptive, being beauty, being ever-expanding, being abundant and being kind. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer says in "The power of intention" intention is an all-pervading force in the universe that allows the act of creation to take place. Intention, he explains, is not something you do, but an energy you're a part of. Not only do you originate from the field of intention, but if you align yourself to it, your desires become fulfilled and you find yourself at peace.
Read the book.
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Monchhichi
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Guru
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Reged: 02/07/05
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Posts: 248
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Loc: Florida
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My angel is also positive. The best you can do is be there for him mentally. Please get him to see a therapist. My husabnd tried to take his like a few times right after he found out. It is a hard thing to deal with when you are trying to take it all in. Your mind cant handle that much. You already seem to be on the right path with all the positive reinforcement you are giving him. Let him know he is LIVING with this disease and if he gives up he will only let it defeat him. It will take time to get him to accept and start fighting. Some people fight back quicker and others are so scared they want to forget. Don't let him forget, but also dont let it take over his life. Continue to live, just with a few minor changes..Meds, eating better, excercise, getting enough sleep, etc. I wish you both well and will keep you in my prayers.
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Never forget: Life is too precious to take for granted.
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Helpless
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Reged: 09/20/03
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Posts: 14
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Loc: New England
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Hi,
I've read your story and it breaks my heart to hear the pain you are experiencing. I hope by reading what I have to write will help or at least shed some light on the subject of a + Loved One.
I met Patti about 10 years ago. She was and still is my sister's roommate. One of the first things I learned about her was that she was diagnosed HIV+ in 1986. She contracted the virus via her heroin addiction. As I got to know her I realized that we had some of the same likes and dislikes. We enjoyed being around eachother. We eventually became a couple. This news spread through my family like a wild fire. When I was questioned by my sister about the risks versus the benefits, I had only one answer. I honestly wanted to be with her, it felt right to me. I knew the risks and of course began to read as much as I could about the virus. I really didn't know what I was getting into. All I can tell you is that I fell in LVE with her. We dated for a couple of years but it wasn't meant to be that kind of relationship. She was/is too caught up in trying to stay alive. Those words are easy to write but when you think about it, if those were the words you lived by how would you react/spend your time. I could go on and on. I want to tell you that even if your friend/partner doesn't show it, you being there is everything. Your 100% correct by addressing the stigma. This virus has been around long enough. I think it's time to get past how it's contracted and spend some serious time and money on finding a cure, if not at least a vaccine. Patti still hasn't told her father or her son. I try to do as much as I can for her. As I said I met her 10 yrs ago, I didn't tell you that she got the double whammy. HIV and HepC. Now her liver is acting up from all the meds. It going to get very interesting.
I wish you all the luck and I hope the best for you and your partner/friend.
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river
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Reged: 03/05/05
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Always there,
Any relationship can be complicated and takes work. We need to learn when and how to bend for each other. And this illness does make it abit more complicated but the philosiphy of relationships is still there. And families always make things difficult. Its just the fear of this . So keep on loving the one your with and learn and grow together . May God bless you both.
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Alwaysthere
I pray for your friend patty. My mom was a drug addict for 20 yrs and contracted hep c. You can fight that, it's not easy but your friend sounds like she's up to the challenge. I got hiv from a highschool boyfriend of 4 yrs to only friend out after i got married to my current husband i am positive. It's emotionally draining and my husband is neg. I fear he will watch me suffer but love sometimes won't allow you to walk away. I am a fighter and i truely believe by buckling down and being proactive in 2005 you have a good fighting chance to lead a somewhat normal life. It's all about will.
take care
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Thank you for sharing your story. My heart goes out to Patti and to you. My sister passed away 2 years ago, she was a drug addict and heroin did take it's toll on her. Patti has the luxury of being alive and I hope she will make the most of each day and live in the now. The past will only hold her back and the future will only cause anxiety.
Each day is a struggle and we tend to focus on the negative, tell Patti to start doing Yoga and reading spiritual books. "The Power of Intention" by Dr. Wayne Dyer, "The power of now" Eckhart Tolle.
Thank you again, if you need to talk I am here.
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Thank you for sharing your story. My heart goes out to Patti and to you. My sister passed away 2 years ago, she was a drug addict and heroin did take it's toll on her. Patti has the luxury of being alive and I hope she will make the most of each day and live in the now. The past will only hold her back and the future will only cause anxiety.
Each day is a struggle and we tend to focus on the negative, tell Patti to start doing Yoga and reading spiritual books. "The Power of Intention" by Dr. Wayne Dyer, "The power of now" Eckhart Tolle.
Thank you again, if you need to talk I am here.
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