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Family and Friends >> My Loved One Has HIV/AIDS

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Anonymous
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My partner was diagnosed days ago
      #133801 - 01/30/05 03:16 AM

He has started the medications. He is having some really bad side effects. I don't know how to deal with the emotional part of these side effects. Some days I am his best friend. Some days I am his worst enemy. I love him and go out of my way to do any and every thing he requests. I feel that the diagnosis has taken over my life and that my needs are put on the back burner. What can I do? please help me...

I am losing it.

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Anonymous
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Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #133809 - 01/30/05 05:52 PM

Hey there, sounds like you need to talk with your partner. There's no easy answer because this is no easy disease. And remember things are always harder when they're new, give things some time, and in the mean time talk to him when he's feeling okay, you must take care of yourself, or there won't be much of you left, best of luck -

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #133934 - 02/02/05 07:57 PM

I have been HIV+ for 10yrs and I know how he feels about the meds and how the mood swings come and go. Is nothing you can do but be there for him. Try to do things he or both likes to do an make sure you ask him from time to time how he feels. Dont pressure him, he trying his best to get better for you. Our partners is the most important thing for us HIV+ guys. In the next month, when the side effects start going away you see you will have him all back. Is a process we go thru when new meds enter the body and have to adjust. Trust me, my partner of 8yrs is negative and have been there for me all the time. Patience, is the key.


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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #134035 - 02/04/05 11:06 PM

Do something for yourself every day. Even if it's having a nice walk. Get other people to come around to help out and give their strength. It'll take 6 weeks or so for him to get over the worse of the side effects. But they are life-saving medicines....so they are worth it.
Don't do it all alone. He must have other friends. He must have relatives? Do what you can. But take care of yourself!

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #134047 - 02/05/05 09:40 AM

I totally know how you feel... My ex-partner, now absolute best friend, was diagnosed a couple of years ago; and I remain the only person who is aware of ALL his health issues. Personally, I dealt with it by researching- A LOT!! I became armed with knowledge which helped me know what I was getting into, what the future might bring. I agree with the others who posted: Take good care of yourself. Tell you partner that you need some time every second day or so to do "your thing". And, above all, be patient... As you learn more about HIV/AIDS, and as the months go by, you'll gain MUCH more perspective on the illness & how it will change your life and his. The side effects of the meds won't last forever-- so hang in there, and when you have the time in a few weeks, when most of the side-effects have passed, I advise you to start doing a little reading on HIV. It will serve you well in the years to come. dwainefournier@netscape.net

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RIVERLADY
All Star

Reged: 02/03/05
Posts: 88
Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #134940 - 02/25/05 03:10 PM

Right now help him as much as you can' This is all new to you both . And gradually get him to do some things for himself if he can. See how the meds go . the side affects should calm down . Speak with the Drs and seek a support group. a live one. not just in the puters. There is something to a live group that you cant get in a computer. check you phone books for the hot lines for . group sights Find in puter for sights and be sure you stay in touch . Hang in there, I bet its your hubbys that ill on the meds, Women are so much more tougher them men. Let me know how it goes. Get my e-mail from other posts and write anytime you need to okay?Till then you take care and know your in my prayers.

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Helpless
Member

Reged: 09/20/03
Posts: 14
Loc: New England
Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #135056 - 02/28/05 09:11 PM

Unfortunately your needs ARE on the back burner. The only thing you partner sees is the virus.

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Monchhichi
Guru

Reged: 02/07/05
Posts: 248
Loc: Florida
Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #135095 - 03/02/05 01:11 AM

You will have days where you love one another, then you will have days you want to kill each other. (Try not to though, you tend to end up in jail!). Take it from someone who is going through it. My husband can be the most overbearing person, but I know it is the meds. SOMETIMES!!! Dont let this overtake your life. You need to keep yourself healthy in order to keep him healthy. Take breaks. If you dont have friends or family that can be there to help, try finding an HIV counselor in your area to see if there are funds available for nursing on the bad days. Also dont cater to him. When he doesnt feel well, yeah that is ok. On the good days make his ass get up. My husband would not be as healthy as he is today if I didnt push. He also told me he hated the catering. I used to do it and ran myself untill I landed i the hospital from a nervous breakdown. So do me afavor and take a few deep breaths and know that we are all praying for the both of you. If you need someone to talk to you can email me...tiink@hotmail.com

--------------------
Never forget: Life is too precious to take for granted.


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JohnK
Unregistered

Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #135368 - 03/03/05 08:26 AM

Hi...my partner was diagnosed 8 months ago and life has been primarily about HIV. I try to keep things upbeat and let him know this is a chronic manageable disease and life WILL go on. We've been together 24 years & our love for each other will get us through. Things WILL get better for both of you.

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Overstressed
Member

Reged: 02/26/06
Posts: 16
Re: My partner was diagnosed days ago new
      #177348 - 02/26/06 07:55 PM

Hi I hope your doing better..all I could say is that you should remeber that you shouldn't have to deal with this alone there so much out there to help you get through this beside remeber that you guys have control over HIV not the other way around . Belive me is not the end of the world and you guys are not alone just the fact you talk to some one will make you feel much better and am here if you ever need to talk. Here's a web site you will like and hopefully will find helpful information. www.hivstopswithme.org click on Oregon then on my name Maricela

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