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A "Positive" +ve Story to brighten your day
#100633 - 07/01/04 10:03 AM
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Hello everyone
I would like to share my story with you in the hopes that those of you who are going through the turmoil of having an HIV+ partner will feel a little hopeful after reading this. I will try not to make this too long!
I met my husband 10 years ago and when it looked like things were starting to get serious, he told me his 'secret' - he is HIV+. I was shocked but thought 'hey, I can deal with this'. I was in my late 20s and thought the world was my oyster. We had a passionate love affair - always protected of course - but about three years into the relationship we both started having doubts and argued a lot. We realized that we had never really talked about our future together. I was terrified of committing to him and I finally admitted this - I wanted children, I wanted to 'grow old together'. But with him this wasn't going to be possible. Or so I thought.
Then I realized that I would be throwing away one of the best opportunities of my life to be with a loving, decent, caring and honest person. This was the man for me.
We live in the UK and about five years ago, some of the hospitals here started offering sperm washing for HIV+ males and their HIV- female partners. After five years of tests, procedures, ups and downs, I can now say that my HIV+ husband and I are now the proud parents of the most glorious 17 month old boy who looks just like his daddy!
We still have a lot of talking left to do. I'm still frightened of the future that 'could' be - a future without him, my son without a father.
But 10 years ago, I thought my beautiful man would have been dead by now.
And look at us now.
So for all of you who are scared, frightened, confused and terrifed. Just remember that none of us knows what joys are to come for us, if we just have a little hope and live each day by day to its glorious end.
Love to you all.
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Brilliant story and congratulations on your son. Hope you all stay well and healthy for many years to come.
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thankyou so much for sharing your story. Congrads to the mom and dad. Best of luck to you both.
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Good on you girl. Stay safe stay well, I wish you all the best in life and the Lord's divine and absolute protection for your family.
BRog
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First of all, I'd like to congratulate both of you for your son. "None of us knows what joys are to come for us" -wonderful and really wise words, I believe. I do hope from the bottom of my heart you keep finding joy along your path.
I would really like to get in touch with you, and I'll explain you why:
My story starts just the same as yours: I fall in love with someone who tells me he is HIV+... and, guess what, he loves me too and makes me feel we're the most beautiful creatures in the universe!
To make it short, we're planning to get married and share our lives with each other.
However, there are some ideas that haunt at times my/his/our mind(s) and this is why I would like to talk to you for you might have experienced them.
1(and the most important).- HAVING CHILDREN. I don't live in the UK, english isn't my mother tongue -as you might have noticed, :) - and in my country doctors haven't given us any posibilities (others than to adopt) to have kids. However, i'm not resting until I find a way to make it possible: I'm sure my love would be an excellent father and if I ever have children I'd want them to be his... ours. That's one of the reasons why i'd like to contact you... you had gone through this. I would really appreciate it if you could tell me how can we do to be as happy as you are now. Where do they do the screening? Who can I talk to? What do you need? tests, procedures? How did you feel?
2.- INFECTING ME.- After being together for 10 years... is your husband still afraid of infecting you? My love seems sometimes to be stressed/worried (?) and I don't want him to suffer because of it. We've talked a lot about it... but, at times, some fears seem to reflect in his eyes.
3.- AFRAID OF LOSING HIM.- You have no idea of how much relief i felt when you say you have been so many years together!!! If I do love this person so so so so so much, how can't I be afraid of the posibility of losing him one day? I suppose that it's normal as long as you're not paralized by fear. We also talked about it, as you are doing now, and he's also afraid of leaving me alone one day...
Yet, as you said, he told you his "secret"... because sometimes I also have the idea that this is all about secrets (¿our discriminating society makes us keep secrets or do secrets kept as if they were things that shouldn't be named make discriminating our society? A little of both, I think)
For this reason, sometimes we feel lonely (at least i do), and we seek for the ones who have the same stories we keep secret and can understand them without questions.
Thanks God you posted your story... I really did brighten my day!!! :)
Once again, I would really, really appreciate it if you could answer me back. My e-mail address is lady_godiva_1984@yahoo.com
Thanks and Congratilations!
LADY GODIVA
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