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Military pilot with HIV
#265 - 03/29/00 03:09 PM
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Thank you for providing this forum. I tested positive for HIV in
February of this year. I began three drug therapy immediately and
my last test for viral loadon 7 April indicated that the virus
was at undetectable levels. I am quite thankful for this. I live
in a world of the double edge sword as most AIDS/HIV patients do,
however I am a military pilot and I am grounded because of my HIV
status. I cannot be deployed overseas and I must be assigned to a
non-deployable unit. I joined the military to serve and that has
been significantly curtailed. I have not checked other sites to
see whether I could locate other AIDS/HIV patients in the
military. Could you help? Another group to which I belong is the
"HIV positive and my spouse is not". She has taken my children
and left. Not, she says, because of my condition, but because of
how I must have contracted it. I am not an intravenous drug user,
nor am I hemophiliac. I cannot talk to my co-workers about this
because they of course are in the military and that lends itself
to the whole "don't ask, don't tell" issue. The military is very
good about confidentiality, but I am alone. Telling my wife was
the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I took her to a secluded
glen in the woods and cried as I told her that I would>probably
be dead within a few years. Her first response was anger; how
could I possibly endanger her life like that? She then responded
with accusatory curiosity; how could I have contracted this
unless I was cheating on her? While I was going through denial,
she was dealing with>her own dillema of posibbly being infected.
After talking with her parents she decided to take the children
and leave me. Her last HIV test on April 10 was negative. I
suppose I don't blame her for her actions, but once again I am
alone. I rode a roller coaster once. It had peaks and valleys and
great looping loops. There were only a few of us riding and I was
in the front car. The wind in my face exhilarated me and tossled
my hair as I laughed and carried on with the abandon of a
fretless child. Then a curious thing happened; the coaster
derailed. It started with a numbing jolt that sent me into a
fearful tunnel of misunderstanding. The car did not fly from the
track however, the wheels merely jumped to one side and the car
slid to a screeching halt, leaving me to wonder whether I should
stay in the car and wait for help or jump to the ground far
below. I decided to ride it out. And when I looked back toward
the other cars, I found them to be empty save a lone man in the
last car who looked at me and smiled slowly with understanding. I
knew him not and neither did he know me, but I knew, though we
were at opposite ends of the train, we were connected.
Spruten@aol.com
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I read your post in thebody web site i am HIV POS and in the army i suffer some of the same fate i am in a combat MOS so it is hard to find a place to be stationed at. Please email me back if you get this or/and have any questions.
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one who cares
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Unregistered
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I'm also in the military , but I'm not HIV+. I work in the medical field and let me tell you that you are not alone. I have seen three different people diagnosed just within in this year. I myself have had a HIV scare and went through the whole 6mo touture waiting peroid. I have an idea about how you must feel. I don't agree with the "military way" of shutting people out and cutting people off beacuse of nothing more than ignorance and fear. I don't know either one of you but sincerely I will keep you both in my prayers.
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I am not currently in the Army but I was there (7 years.) I was diagnosed in 1985 and spent 4 more years as an HIV (HTLV3 back then) positive PAC NCO.
I know how hard it is to be in the military and be HIV positive, no one, absolutely no one, other than a fellow serviceman could know what it is like to keep that secret every single day of your life. How often do you have to avoid questions regarding your luck in not getting sent to Korea or Germany (5 times I got orders, and 5 times I had to go to the DCSPER to get them recinded).
I'm sorry that your wife bailed on you, I was lucky and mine stayed with me despite her bitch mother and sister's encouragement to leave me. Write me and we can talk.
JP
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hello, my husband is HIV pos, and I am negative, I am really sorry and have much compassion for your situation in which you are having to deal all alone. My husband is currantly in the Army and is planning on reenlisting this Nov. His whole outlook on life has changed since being diagnosed hiv pos in Feb. I know what you are going thru. Willi and I went through all the emotions and anger and are still going through them. If you ever need to talk we are available. wjames@gotmail.com
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Interesting conversation. I empathize with the feelings of loneliness and abandonment. I was in the military 14 years (got out 2 years ago). I've been HIV+ for 8 years. During that time I was in a deployable unit and deployed 5 times due to oversight and even received PCS orders to Germany. It caught up with me one year into my second tour there. I was devastated and returned to a Field Army HQ working with the Reserve Component in a dead-end job. I knew my career was over. I completed my Masters degree and left. I still miss the sense of contribution and service to others. I have felt somewhat dissatisfied with life in general since then and struggle to find direction and purpose.
I've been accepted to Law School, but question my endurance for the rigors of academic and cloistered study (not to speak of the financial issues).
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hang in there. I am HIV+,living in Berkeley CA. If you are ever in the area or just need someone to talk with call 510 981 1790.
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Hey--if you ever have any problems with your co-workers arising from Don't Ask, Don't Tell (like harassment or improper investigations) or have any questions about your rights, contact Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (http://www.sldn.org, ph. (202) 328-3244). They give free legal advice to servicemembers who are harmed by Don't Ask, Don't Tell. It doesn't matter whether you're gay, straight or bisexual--if you're getting harassed because somebody THINKS you're gay, they'll help you. They're good people, I know most of them personally.
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I'M NOT IN THE MILITARY BUT I HAVE A BROTHER WHO IS, BUT I AM HIV POSTIVE. I JUST KNOW HOW IT IS TO NEED AN FRIEND, SOME TO JUST RELATE TO, WHO'S IN THE SAME SITUATION. NEED AN FRIEND, HAVE A FRIEND.
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Hi I know that lonely feeling your talking about I found out about my situation after going to the docs for a pregnancy test and found out that my bf had been pos for years.
I did not leave him because I thought we could work it out,we broke up because of other circumstances not because he was pos.
But he never told me as you said you told your wife
I wish he had. But every since I found out life has never
been the same for me. But now I just try to stay healthy and be positive and hope everything will be okay.So stay positive Anonymous and e-mail me if you like .
E-mail me BlkRubi@yahoo.com ;-}
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There are weapons you cannot hold in your hand.
You can only hold them in your mind.
-- Bene Gesserit Teaching
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Mom: Yes?
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Kin, n.:
An affliction of the blood.
[url=http://discounts.6x.to/]cialis[/url] [url=http://discounts.6x.to/]buy cialis[/url] [url=http://discounts.6x.to/]cialis online[/url] As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp
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(3) Don't pat certain animals, e.g., crocodiles and scorpions or dogs
you have just kicked.
-- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac"
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who is this
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I'm also a military pilot deployed in Iraq in support of OIF. I went on leave about 6 months ago back to the states and had a wild two weeks of raunchy unprotected sex. I'm still deployed here in the desert with about 2 months left. i'm really afraid that I contracted HIV when I was on leave. I haven't had any symptoms or anything, but the thought is still in the back of my mind . I don't want to get tested out here, but would rather wait until I get home, for fear of any one of my fellow servicemembers and my chain of command finding out. I know my commander will find out eventually, but I'm just not ready for it ye. It's killing me that I don't know, but I want to know.
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jenn
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Reged: 09/14/05
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Posts: 325
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There is just as much chance that you don't have anything. Go home, get tested for everything (HIV, herpes, syphillis, chlamydia, gonerea, etc) and treat anything that comes back positive, forgive yourself, and then find other ways to have fun in your future (no more unprotected sex). I'm in the military too (not a pilot though). Good luck,
Jenn
PS - keep us informed, I'm thinking of you.
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