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HIV Life >> Living With HIV

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Ms. Wilson
Unregistered

Disclosure and dating
      #95507 - 04/15/04 03:50 PM

I was in a bad relationship with my positive partner for 12years, we found out we were HIV + in 1996. we broke up four years ago and I have not dated any one since. I am very loney but am fearful that no one will want me. At least he knew. My friends say i am good looking and I am well. Some pointers on getting back out there ,would help me a great deal. I am 40-something. Thank You

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isadler777
Member

Reged: 02/18/04
Posts: 15
Loc: Arizona
Re: Disclosure and dating new
      #95513 - 04/15/04 05:31 PM

Hello ms wilson
I too have felt like I am "damaged goods".
But have come to relize that it is just not true.
We cannot let this disease define who we are.
And I am sure that there are many people that are pos. and neg. that feel the same way. It is something that people who care about each other just need to work through. And if its meant to be then it will work.
God Bless
Bud

--------------------
Where ever we are. There is something we need to hear.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Disclosure and dating new
      #95883 - 04/17/04 08:35 AM

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years who was - and met someone new I was so scared at first so I didn't tell him (I didn't do any sexual with him either) in the back of my mind I thought who is going to love me??? I'm dieased!!!!! BUT I told my new crush and he's fine with it!!!! Everything is OK so far... and it's not an issue. MY advice is feel the person out as much as you can before you disclose your status. Ask questions about HIV/AIDS to him and see where his head is at. If you get a neg vibe don't disclose. But I think you can still find love just keep a pos outlook and everything will be fine.

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Disclosure and dating new
      #96162 - 04/21/04 06:40 AM

Positive or negative, women over 30 sometimes have a difficult time meeting men. Remember that everyone has something that they feel bad about. HIV is NOT the worst thing. Also if you will meet someone you need to feel positive about yourself and that you have a lot to share. I would not concentrate on meeting someone right away, I would build up a full life first. Meet other women, you can also go to the positive dating sites: http://www.thebody.com/whatis/women_dating.html#chats

But as I said, older woman always have a more challenging time. (since men in their 30s and 40s are dating women in their 20s....)
Just realize this and proceed with energy and caution. And get out there, join as many things as you can, volunteer at your local AIDS organization, join hiking groups....if you are determined to meet as many people as you can, and you are full of live, you will meet someone!

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Disclosure and dating new
      #96829 - 04/28/04 03:29 AM

Don't let that fear stop you from meeting people and possibly finding a relationship. There are MANY people out there who look at HIV as what it is, an illness. If they develop feelings, the HIV is not an issue in alot of cases. Yes, it can add stress to the relationship. I was not rejected twice by an ex b/f and a current. A friend was not rejected by her now husband. Another friend has dated, HE has ended it if needed. And on and on. I am not trying to give you false hope. Yes, some may reject you, but many won't. I have found that younger men tend to be more afraid and don't want to go there (they sometimes don't want anything complicated at that age anyway), but mid thirties through forties (my dating range) seem to be more educated, grounded, etc. So, good luck to you, check out some of the
HIV personals, I met a very good friend there. Don't be lonely anymore! You don't deserve it.

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DaveyBoy
Unregistered

AIDS Disclosure and HIV dating new
      #97741 - 05/05/04 11:39 PM

No worry about disclosing if you are finding HIV positive support groups or HIV dating sites, examples for support are http://www.13km.com for chat or http://www.POZitiveLiving.com for free meeting and friendships...

Here's a basic POZ waiver form just in case:

http://www.hivdate.com/waiver/


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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Disclosure and dating new
      #111190 - 09/02/04 11:47 AM

hi my name is richard it is so diffrent to try to tell someone that you are hiv pos so it has ben so hard for me to have a good relaship with so i am lookming for that spceail women to spend the rest of my life with me if you want to email me here is my email raner2112@yahoo.com if you want to and i am 41 years old and i live in eugene or.se you latter

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: Disclosure and dating new
      #113038 - 10/23/04 10:56 PM

Hi Anonymous:

I have the same problem. It is hard to disclose your status to someone that you really don't know that well. However, it is important to know if the person that you are dealling with can handle your status. I have been back in the dating pool for about five years now. I have a hard time telling people my status. but most of the time when I do, I get a lot of support. The women that I am with Now is HIV - and was happier about knowing my status than with my status. Honesty is always best when it comes to relationships.

Put yourself out there it can't be any worst than it is now!!!

Good Luck!!!

Darnell


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