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HIV Life >> Living With HIV

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      #94068 - 04/01/04 06:58 PM

I have been affected by AIDS since the age of 8 My stepfather died several years ago and my mom is sick. I became a volunteer at an agency of families affected with AIDS as a big sister. My little sister mom died three weeks ago. I went to see her at the ICU no one knew she had become critical overnight because we had spoken to her two days earlier. I saw a lady laying with a machine coming out her mouth and her chest been pumped deep down and up. I had to look at the chart to know it was her. I felt like i was floating I just stared at her chest and I couldn't hear anything. I was trying to touch her hand which was the only thing I recognized she always had long colorful nails but I couldnt i guess a doctor saw i was shocked and sat me down.

I knew she was sick but i never expected to see her or anyone I care for in that condition I feel so hurt I feel so guilty for not touching her hand Her family turn the machine off the next day . I REALLY WANTED TO TOUCH HER HAND.

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      #94200 - 04/03/04 01:22 AM

I have been in very similar circumstances. The way that I looked at it was that when the person was well, we had good feelings so when the person died, we still had good feelings.

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