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Pages: 1

Reged: 02/20/04
Posts: 1
Who Knew?
      #89875 - 02/20/04 05:20 PM

Who knew?

Who knew three years ago that I would be sitting here working on HIV presentations? Who would have guessed that I would be doing volunteer work, when my life was so materialistic, filled with drugs and alcohol, living day to day, partner to partner? Who would believe that I would be so interested in finding Mr. Right not just Mr. Right now?

But here I am, not regretting a single moment of my life, only looking back to make sure that I still have the support of those that have been there for me from the beginning. Not those that have come and gone gave a share of their friendship and love then disappeared. But those that were there when it mattered most. When I didnít know if the new sun would see me, or the dark night would claim my soul.

I wish I could tell my parents all that they mean to me. If I could explain to them how much their support has helped me and made me grow. I never really knew tough love, but how love could toughen me up. I never saw my parents hurt as much as when they were overpowered by this virus and it hurt me. Not just the pain of seeing someone you love hurt, but not knowing how to make them feel better when, I myself did not know how I was going to escape the clutches of the hospital bed.

My sisters, when they would see me and I was reminded that I was and will always be the baby brother. How they would hold my spoon to eat. Caress my hand not sure themselves how to hold their tears when I was a river without ending. If I could tell them how proud I am to be the baby brother of two of the strongest women I know.

To my friends that saw me go from a free spirit to a prisoner of medicines and doctor visits. From a bird flying high, in all levels, to a fish caught by the hook and struggling to free itself from the net that AIDS is. To those friends that probably saw their own mortality play like a silent movie before them and the fingers of death playing teasingly with their minds and hearts.

To my doctors and nurses that would not let a day go by without fighting an invisible enemy that would not only leave itís marks on my body but dull the light that my eyes could only remember. To those brave souls that God sent to cover me with their wings like Angles fighting to keep Heaven safe from a Demon that has possessed the innocent lives of those that went before me.

Now all I have left to do is pass the information along, not let others join this army of soldiers that receives no other prize but to value life for all its magnificent splendor and live day by day wondering when their time to jump out of that plane would come, not sure if the next pack will hold a parachute or a note from beyond letting you know itís time to come home.

I only wish that before my name is called I had the time to tell those around me that I love them. Not just those that have mattered most to me, but everyone that comes before me and reminds me that Iím still alive and have lots to do before tears come from some and memories from many.

So my friend, donít cry for me or feel sorry today that I celebrate my third anniversary with a partner that I did not choose. Celebrate the fact that I have made the best and will not let quick sand slow down my path to conquer my future.

Hold my hand now as I look into the past. Shed a tear with me as I admire the present.

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Re: Who Knew? new
      #89876 - 02/20/04 05:31 PM


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Re: Who Knew? new
      #89878 - 02/20/04 06:14 PM

Thak you for showing that Life does go on.

HIV isn't a Death Sentence. It's just a change of Lifestyle.

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Reged: 01/27/04
Posts: 51
Loc: Atlantic Beach, FL
Re: Who Knew? new
      #89919 - 02/20/04 07:12 PM

Oh my God! Wow! I am crying reading your post. That was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. I wish more than anything that these scientists could finally make a breakthrough and end this fight you're dealing with everyday of your life. I don't even know you, but I am praying for you, and weeping for you. Don't ever give up, love. I still believe in hope and without hope you have nothing... God bless you and your wonderful outlook on life.


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All Star

Reged: 02/14/04
Posts: 85
Loc: Arizona
Re: Who Knew? new
      #90111 - 02/21/04 10:05 AM

Hi Daniel;
Never give up the fight, you still have many years to make your mark in this world, and judging by the way you write, your gift will not go unnoticed.
Bravo, oh brave one!

"Living Positive Since '83"

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Reged: 02/18/04
Posts: 15
Loc: Arizona
Re: Who Knew? new
      #90118 - 02/21/04 02:51 PM

Inspiring Daniel,
Family Friend those that mean so much to us.

Hope for tommorow. Is what is so wonderfull. Thanking God for the science that has enabled us to live long . Remorse for the days when people didn't have the options we have today. Praying for a cure . Hoping , Dreaming of the day they will figure that out . Can we just imagine the joy to millions that would bring . Having Hope to be able to see that day is worth fighting for.
Take Care Daniel and Keep the Hope Alive

Where ever we are. There is something we need to hear.

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Re: Who Knew? new
      #90588 - 02/25/04 07:57 PM

This post was B.S. You probubly don't understand but your positive attitude will change. Do not go on the meds yet.

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Re: Who Knew? new
      #90747 - 02/27/04 10:22 PM


This story is a joke. Your parents are sad for themselves and so is areyour sisters. Remember, if you have this disease and you are a male, heteerosexual or homosexual the world becomes cold very fast.

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