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HIV Life >> Living With HIV

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hopefull future
      #801 - 03/30/00 09:43 PM


Well even in a forum where discussion on being HIV is entitled, I
still feel a mask is necassary to contribute to those brave
enough for the discussion. I was diagnosed on October of '95. My
companion and I, had made several plans in enhancing our living
arrangements. We where in the process of buying a house and other
things most couples work hard to achieve. Well we had the
misfortune of I being diagnosed positive. He for sum good fortune
was spared my fate. He stood by my side as the tests where being
done and as I began to take medications. I was hopefull. The flaw
in our relationship was his inability to be sexually intimate
with me. I countered this decision by being sexually open with
others. I was wrong. I now feel that with a little more patience
on my part might have brought him around. We will never know now.
I did loose this great love of mine. Even as I type these words
my heart hardens. Why my story? I would like for those diagnosed
to consider their situation. Yes, there are people out there who
would consider haveing sex with me. But, hollownes of the heart
is a terrible feeling. We continue to have a very good
relationship and we care for each other deeply. But what if?

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