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Anonymous
Unregistered

get married ?
      #59245 - 02/20/03 10:13 PM

Scenario : Male is '+', Female is "-"
First, should they get married ? seems the wife will be get involved innocently.
the family problem, the tolerance of the wife, the kids problem etcetc should be considered. Any real case ? I mean would it be a happy ending ?.(of course, the male may die one day)
By the way, how would the therapy affect the personal appearance or body health for the first, second or third year ? Can the person still lead a normal life, such as travelling, working, shopping in respect to the side effect of the drug ? ..Many tks
Sorry for my stupid question and repost the message here





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gregg629
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Reged: 04/16/01
Posts: 438
Loc: Boston
Re: get married ? new
      #59261 - 02/21/03 09:34 AM

Should any couple where one person has a chronic disease get married? How about Cancer, MS, Diabetes? HIV is no different today then any of these other diseases.

You say the wife will be getting involved innocently. I'm not sure that I follow that. I hope the future wife would know her future husband's HIV status and enter into the marriage willingly there for would not be an innocent, but a participant.

The family problem - Oh well, families have problems with lots of things, differences in race, age, financial status. You don't get married for your family. You get married because you love the person.

Kids - Unprotected sex is out of the question so kids through natural intercourse won't happen, but I have read some reports about the possibility of sperm washing and using fertility methods that could allow them to have a biological child possibly.

Body Health and appearance, leading a normal life. A person who is HIV positive can look just as healthy as a negative person. I have been positive for going 5 years, I work out 5 days a week, I go shopping, traveling, out to clubs with friends where on most occasions I end up dancing in the middle of the floor with my shirt off. I also have a 7 almost 8 year old son who I take out to the park and roller blade or bike several miles a day. I also work full time. I'm not sure how much more normal of a life you'd want. I have a lot of my friends who are negative who can’t keep up with me and my active schedule.

Side Effects of the Drugs - yes, there will be some, it all depends on your health and the drugs you are on, but there are side effects for any medication for any chronic disease, HIV is not exclusive.

Dying one day - My Grandmother used to say "Anyone can get hit by a bus" Just because the guy has HIV doesn’t mean that he will die first.

You questions aren't stupid and I hope I have given you something to think about. Please feel free to ask anything else that is on your mind.

Gregg




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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: get married ? question again. new
      #59463 - 02/25/03 09:07 PM

Tks your response Gregg
Well, I am happy to hear that my partner are willing to marry me. Really happy. Even though I want to let her go intentionally at the very first beginning...
However, as a part of love, I still think that I should let her go deliberately. Should I ? No more sadness on my side even though no more wedding..as I am pleased/ very happy deep in my heart to meet the girl who would scarfice for me...that's enough.
Take care.



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: get married ? question again. new
      #59719 - 03/02/03 05:57 PM

In December, my then fiance and I found out the day before our wedding that he was HIV+ through a blood test (required in Mexico). Although he gave me the option of leaving him for a "better life", the thought never crossed my mind. We were married a few days later as we had planned by the beach. Since we were not allowed to get married in Mexico with his test result we got married again back home in front of a JP. I said "I do" each time our vows were made knowing full well that the "in sickness and health" one was one that would be tested. In the last few weeks, I nursed him through pneumonia and he is feeling just fine. We both know that things will not be exactly as we had planned; but then again, humans have an amazing capacity to deal with what life hands them. After our tears came a deep determination to do all we can to continue our life as much as planned and to do everything possible to keep him healthy. I can't imagine not going down this road with him. We are a team and he is still my best friend. An illness doesn't change that. Put yourself in your partner's shoes .. if he/she was ill, would you stay by his/her side? Let your signficant other make the choice. If your significant other heard the news and wants to stay - count yourself lucky and do what you can to build a happy life.

Good luck to you both!




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LonelyHeart
Newbie

Reged: 04/15/03
Posts: 5
Re: get married ? new
      #63781 - 04/16/03 09:06 PM

Will I am married and I am the one that is sick and we are living a normal life. Yeah the Meds. do upset my life but my Man understands and it is every nice to have somebody in my life that loves me for me and not scared.



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