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Reged: 02/02/03
Posts: 1
fearful and stupid
      #57207 - 02/02/03 11:03 PM

Hi, my name is mikael and i am not as of this typing hiv pos. my story is for years i volunteer with people living with aids and had to quick after about 10 years because of obsessing about it. only had sex with two people in ten years , one i never exchange fluid with and the other one i did , i also took a test with this one about 5 years ago. he says he hasn't been with anyone and that if i got anything it was with someone else but there hasn't been anyone else, anyway about 4 weeks ago i ended up in the hospital with severe pancreatitis( i am a light drinker)they were blaming on acholol but being a lite drinker i couldn;t figure that out. anyway after about a week i come down with diahrrea and they test my stool ,seem i caught c.deff in the hospital which is very common. my doc ask me if i would be part ofthis study group and the docter runing it would be buy to see me , the id came boy started asking me alll these questions hap hepc test, told him i had one oabout 5 years ago, and than aask me about hiv told him again the same time ,explain the situation but he said it would be good thing to do anyway but wouldn't force me, i asked him if anything i had could be hiv related he said no, than my primary docter comes in the next morning and talks to me and i told her about the id man and she said well he saw your oxygen numbers were low, which is normanl in pancreatitis and he is an infectious disease docter and they ask anyone about hiv, i asked her what she thought and she said if i suspected anything i would of order the test. sorry for being long winded, get out of the hospital a week and half ago still not feeling up to par no fever , no pain and no appetitte. everying was going good except i was obsessing about the hiv now, last nite went to bed no temp (need to check for the pancreatitis) slept on ativan nicely and woke up at 5 in the morning went to the bathroom and than fell back to sleep woke up 30 min later and was sweating sheets had two wet spots about 5 in wide and my chest was wet , that sent me into a tial spin and have been a wreck all day , this bulletin board seem like the best place to ramble . i know i am obsessing but can't help myself and words of wisdom or comfort. thanks

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Reged: 12/23/02
Posts: 57
Loc: Fort Lauderdale FL
Re: fearful and stupid new
      #57303 - 02/04/03 03:32 PM

Dear Becazican,

Don't worry about being long winded, sometimes just expressing what is in our minds is very powerful in helping us adjust and process information. From what you have wrote it seems that your last possible exposure to hiv was 5 years ago. Is that correct? You also said you took a test with this one 5 years ago. Was that a test for hiv? If so, were you negative?

If you tested negative 5 years ago, and have had no exposure since then, I don't see why you would not continue to be negative. The other symptoms, including the night sweats, can be due to many reasons. Also they could be due to your current medical condition, you are fighting two infections at the same time and the body will respond in many ways to each infection.

So if all you have said is true, I believe you are negative. But the only way to be sure is to test again. Based on the tone of your post, and your obvious concern, it could be the nicest thing you do for yourself. At least you would know your status and could put this issue to rest.

On last point, your subject line says fearful and stupid, well I do not think you are stupid in any fashion. To seek information regarding issues that concerns you, in my eyes, is very intelligent. Only when we admit what we do not know, do we realize how much we really do not know. There is no shame in seeking education about issues that concern you.

Good Luck.

Good Health, Joe

If you remember me, through simple acts of kindness, I will live forever.

Good Health, Joe

Life is what happens, when you are busy making other plans.

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Re: fearful and stupid new
      #57311 - 02/04/03 05:12 PM

Dear Joe, yes 5 years ago was an hiv test for me through the heath dept and it was neg and he did a home test. that came out neg, i have not swapped fluid with anyone for the last 5 years except for him for a few months after my test, i have spoken to him and he said he has not been with anyone, (but who knows for sure) you are right i need to take the test but am paralyed with fear. just got results from my chem and cbc and everything was in the normal , no sweats last nite . i keep chasing my tail and driving most people crazy,even though they love me and put up with me , thanks for repling to my post. mikael

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Re: fearful and stupid new
      #57631 - 02/07/03 09:13 AM

I am not going to call you stupid, I can understand being fearful! I have heard pancreatitis is painful and can be very serious. It's not always connected to HIV. Just getting
medical attention was smart! Just hang in there, sounds like
they have it under control, you just have to sweat out the
last few days (sorry! Thought that may provoke a little laugh. I had the worst flu ever 2 wks ago, night sweats, day sweats, not fun!). Good luck in your recovery, thank you
for your volunteer work, it is so needed with any serious illness, and sometimes harder to find people willing to
help those with HIV/AIDS.

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Re: fearful and stupid new
      #57676 - 02/07/03 10:22 PM

hi i didn't know pancreatitis was even connected to hiv except through medications.

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