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HIV Life >> Living With HIV

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Anonymous
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now it happens that many of us can get angry...
      #544 - 03/30/00 02:46 PM

Now it happens that many of us can get angry while considering
this issue of AIDS, and maybe this anger is something that we all
share in common. Consider the situation of survivors who, for at
least 15 years now, have lived with the problem and fear of
becoming HIV positive. Think about the people who learn they are
positive, and obtain that strange feeling of being "other",
separate and apart from all other people. Then there are the
people who have tried to get something useful or positive done
over the years and have been cut down, frustrated by others who
have simply trashed their efforts. Clearly there is room for
anger in different flavors degrees, and effects. It may be best
to recognize the truth of this anger, make a list of what makes
you angry, and study or check that list. First, make sure you can
get away from your list, (your anger), and practice getting away
from it, or running away from it. We cannot solve problems by
running away from them, but we certainly cannot solve problems by
being angry. Nothing gets done while we are angry. Check your
list for personal names. If you have personal names on your list,
then you have made the often made mistake of generalizing your
anger upon the name of a person. This is a mistake because each
of us are well within the capacity to generate and produce the
same kind of anger, rage, and fury that any of those personal
names creates in you. ONe by ONe, remove those personal names and
replace them with features that describe that person. Now review
your list and make sure you have also set aside some time to get
completely away from it. In your peaceful time, you can study
your anger and perhaps discover a truth: The more time we spend
in anger, the less positive things get done in our lives. Making
someone angry is sort of like a crime -- because it robs that
person of some productive time that could have been spent doing
positive things. Just think of all the positive things that could
have been done if HIV had never reached the country... if it had
remained some kind of odd, unusual disease of the tropics. A lot
of anger has happened and a lot of time has been wasted in a
strong emotion that tends to block out our positive efforts. It
is good to get angry only if you understand what happens in
anger, and are aware of the cost that is paid while anger is
going on. Some people think that we must get angry... ... but
clearly we are angry, we are very angry and we don't have to get
angry because that is what we have. A lot of people have been
angry for a long time,; what good is it doing us? Anyone got a
cure for AIDS? Anger did not work, and I could mention some other
things that did not work if I wanted to review my own list in
detail. But the good thing about this is that each of us can do
something very positive instead of wasting our time in anger, and
the first step is to get some control over our anger by
recognizing this emotion for what it is: A normal human time
waster. This is just the thing we don't need a lot of any more,
right?



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