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seven years ago i was diagnosed with hiv...
      #524 - 03/30/00 06:23 PM

Seven years ago, I was diagnosed with hiv. My Tcell count was
under 500, and the doc immediately prescribed AZT. When I
suggested that I didn't want to take something so toxic, he said,
"I'm tired of young gay men telling me that they won't take AZT.
Do you want to die in 6 to 9 months, because you will." Well
honey, hear I am, and I never took that mess. Until recently, I
took nothing, but experimented with vitamins and herbs. I began
Crixivan in Sept 96, and took it for 8 weeks. I broke out in
measle-like welts, and had a biopsy, but the doc never figured
out what it was. He insisted that it wasn't Crixivan, so I
continued for a bit. I'm not on anything now. I do Astralagus
extract and accupuncture. Since I was first diagnosed, I have
worried that I will never be able to complete my transition as a
woman, so I delayed hormone therapy, etc. Now I've decided to go
full force, because the depression is unbearable. I'm presently
looking for a plastic surgeon to perform a tracheal shave. I'm
also looking for an electrologist. Finding either to perform
these procedures on an hiv+ person hasn't been easy. Wish me luck
on my journey. I can't describe the desire to transform myself
into a female form, but I hope that noone judges me, or thinks
I'm insane for wanting to do so. Still, I can't worry about that.
Just have to be who or what I am, even if I'm the only one of
whatever I am, on this planet or in this universe. Take care.

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