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suffertoomuch
Unregistered

I destroyed what I most love in this world
      #39749 - 12/16/02 10:14 PM

I had a perfect family but now I destroyed it. On my one trip at the beginning of this year, I exposed to HIV. I kept thinking about suicide since I knew I was HIV+.

But recently, I saw my wife's skin also had many red tinny dots, I know she got HIV also. Now, I couldn’t die because I cannot leave my wife suffer so much lonely in this world. I must live and be with her. She is still a graduate school in her second year. I love her so much. I never had sex with any other women in my past 40 years before but I made only one time and it was also the fatal one! I destroyed what I most love in this world and in my all life.



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shadow1
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Reged: 12/06/00
Posts: 1209
Re: I destroyed what I most love in this world new
      #39762 - 09/10/02 08:10 PM

did you take a HIV test to see if you were posative, or do you just know without testing? you diden't make that clear in your post.

The G-Man



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Anonymous
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Re: I destroyed what I most love in this world new
      #42971 - 11/04/02 08:15 PM

Take a deep breathe.
You won't know until you get tested. But make sure to get tested for every std not just HIV.

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Anonymous
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Re: I destroyed what I most love in this world new
      #42972 - 11/04/02 08:16 PM

Good point. Sounds like a bad case of guilt to me.



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Anonymous
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Life new
      #46304 - 12/03/02 01:37 AM

Until you get your test results don't panic. It's not easy to get HIV!

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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: I destroyed what I most love in this world new
      #46590 - 12/04/02 07:10 PM

u should have told yr wife immedaitely aftr exposure that u suspected something, but u did not... why? now u say u love her? i don't understand?



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Anonymous
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Re: I destroyed what I most love in this world new
      #52681 - 12/29/02 11:19 AM

Hi
I came across you article just after I lost my friend to the devil. It was diagnosed only 2 month ago as a case of full blown AIDS. We all were confused. He has not seen me or talking to me for the fast 13 years over an arguement. The point is when I came to know he had HIV I was not knowing ABCD of it he was not given any proper treatment. Know I cry daily thinking about him. I cannot bring him back. I wish he had at least had the chance to take medicine and live. For you I pray to god to give you the chance to fight this devil. Don't give up. Donot blame yourself. If you and wife have it it is not your fault we all are humans it is not what you did. Be strong face it study it. DO not allow the devil to catch hold of you or your loved ones. You become the mastre of it. I know it is not eassy please get it confirmed by doing HIV test. There are some wonderfull people Dr.s keep looking for the suport in the net. You are not alone. Please hang on get the right Doctor and medicine. Do not allow guilt to take over you. Smile now.
regards.



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Anonymous
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Re: I destroyed what I most love in this world new
      #54369 - 01/09/03 05:39 AM

Okay, you made a mistake. You slipped up one time. You I'm sure thought you wouldn't be exposed just one time. It wasn't like you were a constant cheater and upped the odds. It sounds like you have remorse, regret and guilt. You have to forgive yourself. All you can do is to be there for her
and maybe someone else will learn from your mistake. She may live a long life and even be asymptomatic for years, you never know. Thank you for "coming clean" here, and for having a conscience. Good luck, good life (I hope). Note:
I contracted HIV over 10 years ago and am doing great, her life may not be ruined like you think.



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