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Anonymous
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i loved him, married him, and eventually got lazy
      #359 - 03/30/00 11:37 AM

I loved him, married him, and eventually got lazy. Now I have the
virus.

It was like a fairy tale. Too good to be true. He had HIV and I
said okay to marriage. We were'nt as careful with protection as
we should have been. Now I'm into the virus for 3 years and just
lost my husband to AIDS. I talk to him and use him still as my
mentor, friend, advisor and companion. If I am real still in my
thoughts, he helps me hear the answers to my questions or
delimmas. I miss my love, we were good for each other. Now I try
to figure out what my mission in life is next. I think alot about
when will I start to fall apart from this disease. I am cheated
out of motherhood. I blame all this on my low self esteem which
stems from childhood crap. I am much more sure of myself now,but
I'm paranoid to start another relationship. This disease phobia
with the public at large is so sad and frustrating. People with a
fatal disease all need to be accepted by their society no matter
what the cause. Compassion is the real healer.



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Anonymous
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Re: i loved him, married him, and eventually got lazy new
      #360 - 03/30/00 11:38 AM

ReI loved him, married him, and eventually

I don't know who you are.But don't give up. life is like that, we
all die you will die ; I die, with any thing capable to stop the
fuction of the flesh. remmeber the spirite is the one you need ,
if you want live forevere, get wel and you are in the war. to day
is your life do what pleases you. don't heart no body. just do
what you like to do, and trustme trust in God



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Anonymous
Unregistered

Re: i loved him, married him, and eventually got lazy new
      #362 - 03/30/00 11:38 AM

To Loved Married and Got HIV

I hope you won't blame yourself. You loved him. There is nothing
wrong with that. You are learning to love yourself. That is a
blessing to come out of this curse. I loved my childhood
sweetheart, married him when I was 19 and he was 28. I didn't
want to believe anything bad about him, so I closed my eyes. Six
years and 2 little girls later, I couldn't live with his
selfishness anymore. It was only after getting cancer and a rare
skin/liver disease that I learned what I got from him. I know it
sounds sick but I still love him. I forgive him. You need to
forgive him, but more importantly, yourself. What is done is
done. It can't be undone. I focus on the blessings in my life: my
2 little girls are ok, negative. That is a huge one. I have a
place to live, food to eat, the support of my family and friends.
Life is good. I am still here, even though the doctors said I
wouldn't be 2 years ago. You will eventually find the good in
your life, too. Pray for strength. I am praying for you. If you
want, e-mail me at bainne@fais.net. God Bless you.



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Anonymous
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Re: i loved him, married him, and eventually got lazy new
      #364 - 03/30/00 11:39 AM


To Loved Married and Got HIV--your story is so moving--you are
really inspiring. I hope that I can be as inspiring as you. My
prayers are with you.



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Anonymous
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Re: i loved him, married him, and eventually got lazy new
      #366 - 03/30/00 11:39 AM

I'm stunned. How can anyone be inspired by someone who knew what they were dealing
with and admits that they now have a terrible disease because they got LAZY. I find it
pathetic, not inspiring.

My husband is positive and I am negative. We work everyday to maintain his good health
and to prevent my health from being affected. It's part of the commitment we made when
we said our "for better or worses."

Get lazy then get sick. No Way. When dealing with HIV, getting lazy means that both
partners are giving up their happily ever afters. No thank you. I plan on sharing my
happily ever afters with my husband for the next 30 or 40 years. We'll re-evaluate at that
point.

jb



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Anonymous
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Re: i loved him, married him, and eventually got lazy new
      #368 - 03/30/00 11:40 AM

To I loved him, married him...

Hang in there. Just when you can't take anymore a strength comes
out of nowhere and gets you through. I've been there. I too was
once married to the greatest girl I know, but this disease caused
too many problems that we were not ready for. I miss her so and
sometimes wonder what I have to go on for. I would love to meet
someone and fall in love again. I know what mistakes I made in
the past and have learned a great deal from them. I have
something to offer and so do you. Remember that always. It's
never too late to start again. bniu@aol.com



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leah
Unregistered

Re: i loved him, married him, and eventually got lazy new
      #370 - 03/30/00 11:40 AM

To Loved Married and Got HIV: It's amazing how many people this
happens to. I never thought there were so many couples dealing
with this. My heart goes out to you. I'm in a similar situation.
However I'm negative and I've been obsessively careful about
protection.



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