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gabe
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Newbie
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Reged: 03/20/02
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Posts: 2
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Loc: Australia
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body image
#30195 - 03/20/02 09:17 AM
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Hi all
I've been living with HIV for 13 years now and I'm not unhappy to have made it this far. My biggest personal issue at the moment is how I look thanks to lipo. I find myself seeing HIV whenever I look in the mirror. Its hard enough to feel good about myself when I'm feeling unwell (love those side effects) but I feel unattractive too. All the reading I've done suggests that medical responses to lipo are limited. I'm interested in hearing from people whose body shape changes are affecting their lives. In my professional life I do body image workshops with young women and I'm interested in developing something similar to support us to feel better about the body we have. I know how these changes affect me but whats going on for others?
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Being in the position of fearing the worst-that I have AIDS, I can't imagine caring one bit about how I look. I'd love to be in your shoes. I know our problems are all relative to the situation at hand, but try to think about telling your spouse you are ill, the prospect of leaving those you love, etc. and the thought of not looking well pales in comparison. I'd love to hear some insight from you on how you got this far and the challenges you've faced and met. You are a lucky person. Body image in my life has never been that good to begin with but I'll take this body-I just wish I didn't have to face disclosing illness to those I love.
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It's a huge problem. I am a woman of 32 and I wear things that hide my thin spindley leggs and fat middle. It makes me feel like a freak sometimes. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm lucky that I'm alive!
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Is the fat middle you describe from side effects of medication? I bet you are a beautiful person-I know lots of people with skinny legs and big abdomens who aren't even ill-you are lucky to be alive!
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I heard exercise and diet can help.
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Hi thanks for your feedback, its good to get a different, challenging perspective. I'm not sure how I made it this far certainly good luck rather than good planning! Telling loved ones is hard but I've found it worthwhile in the end, the quality of my relationships now is heaps better than before, even though it took a lot of hard work. Good luck.
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I can really relate to your struggle with lipodystrophy. While I realize I am lucky to be alive and that life is about a lot more than how I look, logic doesn't change my feelings about myself. To be honest I think that phsycologically I am FINALLY coming out the other end of this horror, but I went through a painful process of grief that was almost unbearable.
I am a 39 year old female and I my LD devastated me the most when it ravaged my face. I was getting married (of all things) and my face was changing faster than the date would get here. My first year of marriage was hell as I watched with continued horror my youth dissappear. On top of all this my hair and eyelashes fell out, making it impossible to hide my face. After a miserable isolation period I finally got out and joined a support group--lucky for me one other person was there with the same thing. Mentally I knew I was going to be okay. I've since had facial implants and switched medications and I am growing from this experience, but I still struggle with it. Particularily when I see people who knew me from before. At work this creates a lot of questions.
I know it's important to build one's self from the inside out and that beauty truly comes from within, but I think a person has to be pretty strong to begin with to breeze through something like this. I didn't have the greatest self confidence to begin with and I think a lot of women are like me. I can only tell myself there must be a reason I should be going through this and maybe that is to become a stronger person.
Anyway, feel free to email any time. Glad you posted your message on the board.
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gabe
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Newbie
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Reged: 03/20/02
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Posts: 2
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Loc: Australia
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Thanks for all your responses. Diet and exercise have certainly helped me overall health wise as I have high cholesterol and diabetes, but haven't changed my shape. I too keep reminding myself how lucky I am to be alive still, when I was diagnosed I wasn't supposed to make it to 28. Life's pretty good really, I have a great circle of friends and a pretty supportive family. I just find it hard to maintain my focus on these things when I don't feel good about myself. No matter how much I remind myself that its not what's on the outside that matters, that's what people see. I don't feel attractive anymore, can't face the idea of letting anyone see my body and as a result haven't had sex for the last couple of years. There's a part of me that's scared that this is what the rest of my life is going to be like. I've had a couple of great relationships since my diagnosis so I know its not the HIV stopping me, its how I feel about myself.
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