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Mixed couple
      #30184 - 03/20/02 02:32 AM

Could I please hear from any HIV+ people who are with HIV- people? I have just started a relationship with wonderful man. He is HIV- and very frightened by kissing and passive oral sex. It would really be helpful to hear from couples in the same situation. We love each other very much but I have always heard that these practices are safe. Help!

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Re: Mixed couple new
      #30389 - 03/22/02 06:18 PM

Hi, I have been poz for 6yrs and been in a relationship for 15yrs plus. Anal sex with condoms is the only precaution we take. Deep kissing only limited if one of us has a abrasion or cut. My partner remains neg. Maybe due to undetectable viral load. Who knows. Good luck.

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Re: Mixed couple new
      #30530 - 03/25/02 03:56 AM

Congrads on finding someone special. I am - and my fiance is +.WE have been engaged for 2 years and our wedding is in 2 weeks. It has been hard at times loving someone who is + but usually only because he is so scared of infecting me that at times he gets really stressed out about it, other than that I count myself as one of the lucky few in this world that has that special someone to share my life with. One thing that has helped us is that he lets me be involved in the + side of his life ie; I go to the Dr. with him and he shares his fears and concerns with me. Just be yourself with your new love and let him see the real you, being pos is just one part of who you are, let him learn to love you for your mind, spirit and body as a complete person.

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Re: Mixed couple new
      #30534 - 03/25/02 05:07 AM

I am in a somewhat similar situation. I am an HIV- male. About three months ago, I fell madly in love with an HIV+ female. Currently, she is not really interested in having a serious relationship with me. She is not really attracted to me, and feels that if she were to have a serious relationship with somebody that it would have to be with someone else of the same status for fear that she may end up hurting the other person. However, I was very much aware of her status at the time I fell in love with her, and have never considered it to be a stumbling block. My rationale is I fell in love with her because of who she is, and not what she is. She is a kind, caring, wonderful woman who needs someone who cares about her. I only hope that someday she will be able to feel the same way about me as I feel about her, and that she will not see the fact of status as a problem. As far as your situation is concerned, take comfort in the fact that he is at a relatively low risk for HIV transmission. While I know that I am not an expert in the field, I do know that it is harder for a female to pass the virus on to a male than vice-versa. I hope that your partner can see this fact as well. I wish only the best for you both, and am glad that he has chosen to be with you despite what your status may be.

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