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Patrick_Ingram
Member

Reged: 04/11/12
Posts: 10
Six Months
      #263429 - 06/01/12 10:49 PM

Wow, so six months later and I am still here. I kind of considered myself the little engine that could. I have had the highest of highs, and some days I have had complete lows of lows. The change in my life has showed who my true friends and confidants are and who were only on my bandwagon for their own reasons.

December 1, 2012 I was diagnosed with HIV and since then my life has taken off. At first I did not know how the take the news and I was angry at the person who hurt me. I was upset and people who decided to not have me in their lives anymore. I was sad at the fact that I was now “labeled,” as positive. It kind of hit me like a rock. I guess I lived life thinking that I was invincible and that nothing could stop me. I never broke a bone nor had any major health issues until the first of December. So, for me my life flashed before my eyes; however, I knew I had to keep myself together because my very existence depended on it.

Throughout this journey I have learned that people whom you find close weren’t as close as your thought they were. I learned that there are many more conditions/diseases other than HIV. Also, that the most unexpected people step up and show that they really do love you unconditionally. Have to tell my twin sister, brother, mom, and father about my diagnosis was THE toughest thing I had to do so far in my life. The reactions still hunt me to this day. I wish and pray that someone passes this along to someone who is leading an unhealthy lifestyle to tell them that it is not ok. I do not want someone to have to go through what I and many of my fellow positive brothers and sisters go through. We sit picking, holding on, and trying to create new pieces of our lives that have been previously shattered. We still deal with stigma and fear from others, when we are just normal people.
I consider this diagnosis like a true blessing. I have finally been able to look at life as not just a game or my own personal playground, but as a clean slate to leave a legacy to help combat diseases, issues, and problems that negatively affect people all around this world.

Today is a testament that I am more in control of my 23 years on this Earth then I have ever been. I am more health conscious; I am more engaged in my community; I care more about others around me; I work hard to achieve my wildest dreams; and I take the time out to give thanks to my supporters, friends, family, and the medical team that has kept me going and in the right frame of mind.

During this time I have fought depression, anger, and a lack of self-confidence. I am getting better every day and finally I see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
If you are on day one or day one thousand I just want you to know that we are some of the strongest people out there. We show the true meaning of strength. We will have our great days and our bad days but what matters most is continuing to be in a fabulous mindset and continuing to stay committed to staying healthy.

With Love,
Patrick


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alive2
Guardian

Reged: 03/08/07
Posts: 342
Re: Six Months new
      #263436 - 06/02/12 10:46 AM

you seem to have a good grasp of things. some take longer for adjusting and it seems you have done it in fine fashion, good luck. keep on going


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Pos_in_Thailand
Guardian

Reged: 02/01/11
Posts: 464
Loc: Thailand
Re: Six Months new
      #263735 - 06/13/12 03:17 AM

Thanks for sharing your story with us! I am so glad to hear that you are turning this into a positive experience and using it to improve yourself. Keep up the good work and stay in touch. Cheers to you!

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1662
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Six Months new
      #263768 - 06/14/12 10:26 AM

Welcome to Stage 4 , its empowering !!!

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Patrick_Ingram
Member

Reged: 04/11/12
Posts: 10
Re: Six Months new
      #263892 - 06/19/12 10:47 AM

Yeah overall I am in a great place. There are times though the negative thoughts creep back into my mind; however, I see that as natural because no one is perfect and can handle something like with ease. Thank you for the support ..

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riverprincessModerator
Moderator

Reged: 12/25/11
Posts: 1662
Loc: Jersey Shore
Re: Six Months new
      #263928 - 06/20/12 02:18 PM

Life gets better if you let it. I've been pos for 20 years and my life is the best as its ever been. I think your beginning to see that. All the best to continue for you my friend.

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