riverprincess
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The 5 Stages of Pos
#260076 - 01/12/12 01:13 PM
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A way to see and understand about life being pos. There are 5 stages that we mentally/emotionally go through once you pass through just the senseless fear of being tested.
Stage 1-- You think being diagnosed as pos means a death sentence. Your fear is so great that you just about want to just die instead of the suffering that you think lays ahead of you. You can't sleep eat or even think. All you want to do is cry and find a hole to live in. But then comes.....
Stage 2 --You realize that the world didn't stop and that life actually still goes on . But you realize that life will never really be the same and you think of the what ifs. Each day that the sun rises and sets you find yourself accepting that this is here to stay .
You want to find out every bit of information that your hands can get a hold of . You research all the research. You inquire about lab work and the more you try to figure it all out the more your head just wants to go POP!!! Your totally overwhelmed by it all, exhausted and then comes .........
Stage 3-- You see that the only knowlege that you really need is that which pertains to you. And you see that although life has changed it's still ok . Sure you may wonder about who you can confide in . You learn about personal choices. You have a really good grip on what this all means. You may even being going to support groups to see how others are doing things with life. I call this also the color stage. That's when you see your life as a good thing again, The blues are bluer, greens greener, yellow brighter and reds bolder. Life actually looks good and you see that the problems in life that seemed sooo big are really quite insignificant now. This is a life changing stage that brings you to ......
Stage 4-- You want to help others that are just coming to terms with their diagnoses. You share how its not really any big deal, that there are worse illnesses that are unmanagable. You help them to see how in an odd way this diagnoses can actually be a blessing , Because you now see how precious it is and how you want all things to truly mean something. You may be back at work ( yes you can ) . Life actually looks like new opportunites . You see it's all just a matter of ATTITUDE ! And finally comes
Stage 5--This is actually a stage that ALL folks pos or neg must face . And that is when our life will end. But since we have already looked at death in stage 1 , we now replace that fear with a more realistic approach. And this can be truly amazing. And alot depends on each individual. I had friends that embraced their death by planning it all out themselves. They didn't run in fear, they took charge and empowered themselves . They realized it was just another stepping stone in their journey , a new chapter in their lives. And I can say I am soo blest to see the example they showed me.
I know this was long , but I believe well worth the insight.
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This is wonderful - thanks for taking the time to put this together!
I agree that there are much worse diseases than this, now that we have the life-saving ARV/HAART meds that will keep getting even better. I have friends with diabetes, and other problems that never get stigma or much attention, and those are much more difficult to manage than this is for most people (unless you have a very complicated virus).
Another thing we have is that a cure is probably not too far off, and we have had one of us actually cured already. That is a BIG advantage, the hope that we may be free of this again in our lifetime. I am happy as I am now, but I do look forward to seeing this unwanted guest evicted!
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I second that !!! Eviction notice coming soon
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LJ07
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Reged: 01/20/12
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Thank you for your post :-) I have found a bounty of information on this site thanks to members like you. A week ago HIV was the furthest thing from my mind. Today It's the first thing that comes to mind when I awake and my last thought before I sleep.
I feel like I am going through the first stage with my brother who tested POZ a week ago. Unfortunately he is overseas and alone. The past week has been very emotional. I feel so helpless and the only thing I can do is go online and research. I know he isn't there yet, he is still in shock and hasn't had the energy to look for info. At this point he is extremely paranoid, anxious, and delirious (No Sleep). When we speak I try to encourage him by telling him about all of the success stories on here and about the medical advances in the last decade. But I am afraid to say the wrong thing or even worse, not say what he needs to hear.
Please help me out here.... How can I comfort him? My heart is aching and I cant even imagine what he is going through.
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Hi!
I'm sorry to hear of your brother's diagnosis. This site is a great way to find the information that will help him have hope and be able to keep him healthy and happy. If he educates himself and works closely with a good doctor, he can have a pretty normal life, and even end up turning the diagnosis into a source of strength and determination.
Please PM me if you would like to. I am available to talk if you or he needs to. I know you are in shock, but it probably will be ok and he will have a long, healthy life. He is very lucky to have you with him on this! Help him through the shock and help him get the information he needs to tackle this head-on and win!
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admiralaew
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this is remarkably like the Kubler-Ross Model better known as the five stages of grief. Everyone should most certainly look into that as well to help understand what they are feeling. This, however, I would say is AMAZING. In about 8 months I have jumped to be hovering between stages 3 and 4. on your scale. Thank you so much for this
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Kriss
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Reged: 11/12/09
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Intresting, I like the post. I don't think I've exprienced all of these stages but mostly 4 and 5, because I found out when I was seven (I was born with it). At that age, I didn't think much of it, because I didn't know to much about it. However, when I was at school learning about health and std's it was pretty difficult sitting in the classroom when teachers, kids, and other folks talked about HIV+ folks as if they're going to die in less than two years because they always showed them with having weak immune system. They never shown any acurate portrayal of HIV+ folks, I was one of them in the class. It was pretty hard navigating through the silence and all.
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riverprincess
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Reged: 12/25/11
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Loc: Jersey Shore
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Yeah Keya I know. In the field that I work in I've had to listen to the same stuff. Don't pay any mind to it. Some people will always be ignorant, you may even find some of them to be nurses and doctors . But then there are those you can be just totaly honest with and its refreshing.
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Hi Keya,
Riverprincess is right, you have to be able to tune these things out or be able to speak back in a way you feel comfortable with, when you encounter these people. I've started doing what I call a "Did you know...?" campaign. Lately, when I find people spouting things about HIV that are wrong I start asking a "Did you know that ....?" question to try to get some truth injected back into the mix. It usually leads to a positive discussion; the person comes away a bit better educated, and any observers do as well. It's helped me keep from getting really angry a few times.
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cm82391
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Reged: 03/08/12
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Loc: Reno NV
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How can someone be cured of HIV?
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