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Stuart_Lanning
Member

Reged: 09/11/10
Posts: 12
Loc: California
Unrightfully Banned From REALJOCK Gay Health Site
      #252065 - 09/11/10 07:27 PM

Recently I registered on REALJOCK's Forum to interact mostly with others that were HIV positive as well as, spread the message about the dangers of HIV. As an activist and songwriter, I was diagnosed positive about eleven years ago. I am familiar with the taboos and stigma's us positive individuals deal with on this issue. The owner of SURFJOCK however, witnessed for months now how a majority of individuals on the site were harrassing me in cruel ways including many disgusting remarks about my HIV status. He still banned me. His website forum specifically asks you when you sign up whether you are HIV positive or negative and I always answer this question honestly. In spite of the fact many times I had to defend myself, I even had the integrity to apologize to the ones I may have hurt in the process. STILL the owner refuses to acknowlege this. At what extent do we as positive individuals draw the line on what is coincidence and what is outright obvious when it comes to OUR RIGHTS to have feelings in response to this epidemic? Is it right to sign up for a message board just like anyone else and have to suffer attacks on our self-esteem just because we answer that dreadful question about our status? I mean, I was cruely attacked for revealing in a post how I have been affected in the area of having gay relationships since I became positive and was literally sent hate mail in response. It was as though I was sinning for admiting that I have simply not found myself good enough for a relationship and this was taken as though I was prejudice when it had nothing to do with prejudism. REALJOCK is about the only gay related health site there is however, as a result of this hatred I am starting a holistic living website for gay people at www.thegrayne.com. It might take a few months to really get this thing underway and I am going to ask for help from The Body in terms of maybe being able to post an advertisement here or something. It is going to be a not-for-profit website dedicated to those that are more focused on spiritual matters, physical health, advice on gay issues, and pretty much anything the gay community would like to discuss without the "hook-up for sex" features that take place at this other website. I hope some of you can support this plan. I have been using my real name on the internet for years because I have faith I can make a big difference someday in the lives of others. I am also a stage three cancer survivor of two years ago and am currently battling major kidney damage from an old regimine of HIV meds that has recently been changed. I feel very strong about loving eachother as we are basically brothers and sisters on this earth. I want to build upon that kind of relationship with eachother as I was not allowed to do so there. I thank you in advance for your understanding. This hateful prejudism MUST STOP!!!! Our emotional dillema's deserve to be heard also. I could not believe the response I received from the Administrator of this other website I have mentioned. Peace be with you.

Edited by Stuart_Lanning (09/11/10 07:48 PM)

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new2this2010
Expert

Reged: 06/22/10
Posts: 119
Re: Unrightfully Banned From REALJOCK Gay Health Site new
      #252113 - 09/14/10 05:53 PM

Get over it!! Why would an intenet site make you go through all these changes? Maybe you are focusing your efforts in the wrong place. You are obviously a survivor. Why would you subject yourself to public humiliation by expecting people to understand your woes? People could care less about you!!

Posting your status on gay sites is your choice so be prepared to humiliated, hated, and everything else that goes along with that. It was your choice now live with the repercussions of your choice to do so.

Personally I dont understand why you would do such a thing in the first place. MOVE ON with your life and stop advertising your HIV status on gay sites and you will be happier. Your choice to do that was not a wise choice at all. Play your guitar and write a song and MOVE ON. Dont let a gay site rule your life the way it has. You are obviously really hurt by your responses otherwise you would not take the time to write such an extensive post on here.

Nobody cares about you or your status, accept it and move on with your life. Otherwise you will never be truly happy. Everybody doesnt have to know every detail of your life, people dont care about you.

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Stuart_Lanning
Member

Reged: 09/11/10
Posts: 12
Loc: California
Re: Unrightfully Banned From REALJOCK Gay Health Site new
      #252120 - 09/14/10 06:22 PM

I have found there is a lot of responsibility that comes along with the dangers of this disease. On a health site where the question is asked upon signing up for a profile, I expect the owners of the website endorsing these questions are a bit more experienced in handling such a sensitive subject. The website seemed legit when I signed up and I made it clear in my profile that my intentions were not to go on spreading the disease but, rather to point out the issues surrounding the spread of this disease. You are right, nobody seems to care... That doesn't make it alright not to care. And on a website that enforces such things as our health in the gay community well, that covers quite a bit of subject matter. It is not that people don't care... It is that people are afraid. And there are some that simply are afraid to care and so they might remain silent but, they absorb the facts still. I am not happy in my silence... I feel the issue is still as powerful as it ever was. I think there are more prejudice reactions than there ever were. People want us to be honest about our condition yet, they don't know how to treat that honesty with respect. Why should I have to hide anything about myself? I carry my own cross either way.

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Roder54
Newbie

Reged: 01/08/11
Posts: 1
Re: Unrightfully Banned From REALJOCK Gay Health Site new
      #253831 - 01/08/11 06:16 PM

It seems that the site in question banns people for the least reason.
I was in the forums a lot and one day from what I could see used the word Fag to describe a gay historical time.The next day I could not sign in with my usual signin name.At first I though the site might be down for some reason so the next day I tried again to no avail.I re-registered under a new signin and password after changing my Ip address and voila got in again.After talking to many members via private message I found that they ban their members for the dumbest of reasons: a picture an opinion certain words you may use, so a site such as Real jock I would not worry too much about.Its more for Gay men who are devoted to the Gym I think who don't necessarily have the biggest brains in terms of knowledge anyway.I am HIV- but if I were positive I don't think I would want to be anywhere especially sites that send me hatemail.SO sorry that this happened to you at Realjock but consider the source.

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