is there any couple (male and female) HIV+ - TheBody.com's Bulletin Boards

I am HIV+ but my boyfriend isn't... but I've made it important to tell ALL of my sexual partners my status before we have intercourse because I feel they have a right to know and choose on the little risk they may be taking. I find it extremely unfair to keep that choice away from them. So far, all my partners were ok with it, and my boyfriend and I use condoms as much as possible. What has kept you from telling your girlfriend? Is it fear? Are you afraid she'll reject you? I can understand that, but I think you need to ask yourself, would it be worse to tell someone your status and they decide its not something they want to do, or transmit the HIV without them knowing, giving them no knowledge that they should be protecting themselves? I would certainly over the long run feel worse about the second one. You also have to ask yourself, does your girlfriend trust you, does she love you, do you love her? In many ways should she become infected while you knew the whole time, I can only imagine how much of a betrayal that would be. I would either tell her straight up that you are HIV+ and would feel its in her best interest that she get routinely tested (my boyfriend does every 6 months) or if you think she won't wanna go after she hears that then going to get tested WITH her, like a routine that all couples do, and THEN tell her. Most importantly, I feel this is something YOU can't be selfish about. Should she decided to leave you for not telling, because a healthy relationship is about trust, honesty, and openness, then you need to let her go, should she decided that she wants to use condoms to protect herself, you can't argue that. It seems you aren't public about your status and I understand cause I'm not either, but when I tell someone for the first time I make sure I give them all the information I know on how HIV is transmitted, ways to protect yourself, and most importantly, confidentiality. They need to know that I am choosing myself to tell them, and that is not a right they have for themselves, in terms of telling someone else that I have HIV. In fact telling someones status to someone else without their consent is illegal. I think you need to be honest with her, she has a right to know, IF you are putting yourselves at risk for transmission. If it was just kissing without exchanging semen and vaginal fluids I would say you could wait, but if you are having sex, she has the right to choose, just as you would. And also, do it for yourself, be a better person, someone you can live with.
If you'd like to talk more, feel free to message me, good luck!

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-OobiemoObie

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