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kuanRC
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Reged: 09/22/09
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Loc: Los Angeles, CA
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HIV+ and working in academia
#247661 - 09/22/09 11:27 PM
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I'm looking to connect with anyone who has experience as an HIV+ person working on faculty, as a researcher or graduate student in academia. I'm a PhD student in an extremely competitive program at a major research university and I am not "out" at school about my health status. The stigma is still strong and academics--open-minded as most claim to be--live in rather insulated worlds, which usually doesn't include dealing with an HIV+ student or colleague. I have seen a couple of full professors gossip with glee about the cancer or other health crisis of their colleagues (no joke, this, unfortunately) and I am not interested in being on the receiving end of it. My question--are there any other academics out there dealing with HIV and the pressures of being intellectually functional at all times? I worry that my short-term memory is falling off, that my linguistic capacity is starting to deteriorate, and I am terrified that this will become apparent in my work. I also am in a program that will require me, within the next two years, to go live in Brazil for a year for research. I am completely clueless as to how to deal with acquiring meds in Brazil (I have just started Atripla here), and I am worried about getting the medical clearance necessary to do research on a major grant like a Fulbright-Hays. Anyone out there going through this too? Anybody have any answers or pointers of how to navigate all this? Thanks so much.
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FIrst if I were you I would talk to your doctor about being gone for a year and what does he think you can do or should do about acquiring medication and doing check ups down in Brazil. If you have to do a physical and if being positive keeps you from getting the medical clearence Worst case scenario is that you might not be able to go. There should be something in the graduate school that would allow you something alternate if you cannot medically do the research in brazil. maybe talking to someone at teh brazilian embassy would be a good idea as well
http://www.brasilemb.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=41
I would see if first you can even go and if you can't find out your alternatives.
If you are able to go though, I'm pretty sure your school is set up like mine where one person handles the travel for people in your department. Talk to them and tell them that you have wonder what do you do about obtaining your medications while you are gone for the year. I know you can't be the only student on medication. You don't have to tell them what the medications are. If it would ease your mind or relieve suspicion you can say its your asthma, or depression or something that you are wondering about obtaining while you are gone. If they do not know they should be able to point you to the right person.
thats what i would do
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Equinox
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Reged: 10/05/09
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Posts: 3
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Hi - I'm also a PhD student who is HIV+. I don't have much information to share, but it's nice to hear from another HIV+ academic. I've been poz since 91 and was very out in the 90s. I was pretty sick and didn't have much to lose then. I'm still out to my friends and family, but I have kept my status to myself at school for the most part. I've only told my committee chair. He advised that I be careful who I choose to share the info with because we have a significant block of old-time conservative professors who hold a great deal of power in the dept. and who aren't likely to be supportive. Despite this, I recently made a decision to be more out - joined the board of an AIDS NGO - and agreed to start making presentations in my community about global AIDS issues. This means that my name will be available on-line as a member of an organization of PLHIV at some point should anyone look. It's been a tough call and I really sympathize with the position you are in. I am pretty sure that revealing my status will limit my chances in the already tight job market. (On the other hand, I feel less isolated and more like I am doing work that matters, together with some fantastic, smart, committed + people, so it's worth it to me.)
I also want to do fieldwork...probably in Colombia or Jamaica. I think HIV means that I'm ineligible for a Fulbright (based on the language in their literature) but I'm not sure. I'm investigating other options for funding (slowly, so I would be glad to hear from anyone who has already looked into this).
I absolutely understand your cognitive worries. I am so sorry you are experiencing that. I think watching my mental capacities deteriorate has been the hardest part for me. It makes me feel so vulnerable. I never know when I might lose a word or phrase or author/citation that I should know. If it helps, despite short-term memory loss and linguistic problems (your experience sounds so much like mine), I've managed to teach for 3 years and passed my comps with flying colors. But it all scared me to death! I am sure I could think more clearly if I slept more but I can't figure out how to add that since I am perpetually behind on everything.
Sorry that I don't have useful information to share. I was just so happy to see someone write things that reflect my experience that I had to respond. Good luck.
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Christa1
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Reged: 10/06/09
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Posts: 24
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Loc: Durban, South Africa
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Hi,
I worked full time at a University here in South Africa for the past two years (2006-2008), then started lecturing on part time basis. I was infected in 1998. I trully agree with you and that is part of the reason I decided to be on part time basis. I just found the academics very rigid in their views about the virus.
But one thing I had to ask myself what that, yes, I may have a get certain incentives financially while employed as a full time staff, but am I happy? I knew that when I get sick within this environment I would probably be dying in my office and I will turn to a research object. That is why I left.
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pozgpo
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Reged: 10/18/09
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Hello, I work in academia too. Im a Master student in Mexico willing to start a PhD next year. I have the same worries as you. Im not "out" with anyone at work and Im worried to be unelectible for an international scholarship to start my PhD. Ive done some reasearch on the subject and Ive found that some countries are "HIV friendly". I know countries like Mexico or France dont have any problems to accept HIV+ people as legal residents, and they even provide medications. You only have to register in the Social Security Center or Health Department. But you should be aware that some other countries have banned the entry for HIV+ as the US or China. I advise you to contact an HIV organization in Brazil and ask for information, but dont give personal information until youre sure youre gonna need to register or something. Also, I advise you to dont disclose your status with your coworkers. People are not as open-minded as we would like them to be, and they get shocked easily by that kind of news. Some people might start gossiping about (even the prominent researchers and professors), and if youre not as selfconfident and informed about the subject you might not be able to deal with the consecuent reactions. Be careful when choosing who you disclose your status with. Good luck.
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Kriss
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Regular
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Reged: 11/12/09
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Posts: 25
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Loc: seattle, WA
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Hi, thank you for sharing. I am also a college student at a comunity college, I have a since of your perspective, I was born with HIV.. for me it's been hard. In a school setting I am partily out to some close friends and some faculity on campus and lets say, they still treat me good  as for the rest of the folks not everyone has to know my busness.. Well, for advice in perhaps being "out" on campus just relise it is your decision, don't force yourself to tell people about living with HIV or Aids if you are not ready. From exprience yes it was a liberating exprience but if you may not feel safe take that into consideration. Just take the frienships one day at a time.. perhaps you can test them to see how they would react. If they react in a negative way don't tell them... I hope this helps, good luck. It has been great reading the post and your story, because I always wonderd about HIV postive people in higher education, I feel alone sometimes.. becase most colleges and unversities do not have HIV/AIDS resource programs, soon I hope to change all that once I get that PHD perhaps in social work. Thanks, Keya
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ScotCharles
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Legend
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Reged: 05/06/05
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Posts: 924
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Loc: Los Angeles
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The Body has an excellent booklet on HIV Associated Neurological Disease (HAND), which you may have based on your post, Just put HAND in the search window on the Body site.
I am no doctor, but like you I too experienced a loss of verbal capacity and short term memory, Fortunately, my symptoms became apparent a year after I finished my graduate work at the University of Edinburgh. I was diagnosed with the beginning stages of HIV Dementia in June 2008
You must be a smart guy to be in a PH.D. program. Smart people can mask declning mental function much better than those who are not so gifted. I shouldn't worry since worry will only make your condition worse. Try to develop work arounds for your lack of verbal fluency. I used to pretend that I was having trouble remembering the English word I was looking for as I speak, without fluency, a number of languages.
As for short term memory, this condition is the Bitch of the World. Short term memories become long term memories by making connections to past memories. You can improve your short term memory by making as many connections to new memories as you can. I know it is not great help to do that exercise during a heated debate, but there it is. I used to pretend that my words were gold and maintained silence during debates on the laws I enforced as a government agent. At the lull that always happens in any debate, I spoke up with my well rehearsed words of wisdom. I may have appeared slow, but I got my points across.
I don't see the need to disclose to your colleagues that you are HIV+. Academia is a cut throat environment. I shouldn't throw chum to the sharks if I were you.
Good show you for your upcoming PH.D.
ScotCharles
--------------------
Life is a river.
Carpe diem.
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